A Beautiful Conclusion
by glittergirl20
Summary: The last five years of Finnick and Annie's marriage have been wonderful. They are now expecting their first child and are extremely happy. But will they be able to overcome the next obstacles, including their haunting past? Modern Day AU and the third and final part of the Beautiful Disaster series.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One.**

"Finnick, have you seen my-"

"Here you go." Finnick says handing me my manuscript that I am pushing my company to publish. I work in a very small but respected book publishing company. It was a start up company when I first started, so I am in the high ranks now.

I'm not CEO or anything but, I don't have to go through as many people to get a meeting. The company has expanded ever since one of the books got a movie deal. We have published better books, in my opinion, but since this is a five book series the money will come in. I don't think it will be Harry Potter or anything but, it gave our company more credit and publicity.

Finnick and I currently live outside of New York we have a small apartment. Neither Finnick or myself wanted to live in the city. It is more expensive as well.

Finnick traveled around the world when he was getting his PHD. He went to Australia, California, Florida, Panama, Brazil, certain parts in Asia and Europe.

I could've left the book company so we could move somewhere more exotic. Finnick could do more interesting marine biology work then. However, Finnick wanted to stay in the US. He worked at the zoo for awhile but then became a professor for a college. He got to set up projects and experiments for students. He loved it at first but then it got frustrating, especially with some of the students.

When Finnick and I started trying to have a baby Finnick decided to look for a different job. One that didn't involve traveling. He got his old job back at the zoo. Well not exactly the same job. He has a bigger title and he makes more money.

Finnick and I currently live in a two bedroom apartment. It's better than our first few apartments when we first got married.

Finnick and I could put money down for a house. We make enough but, neither of us seem interested.

We will have to move eventually and probably within a year because we are having a baby.

"Thanks." I say and kiss his cheek.

"You're welcome. Be careful today, walking I mean". He says.

I roll my eyes.

"I'm only seven and a half months." I say.

"I'm just worried about you."

"You don't have to be." I say.

He puts his hand on my stomach.

"I wasn't talking to you Annie." He smiles and kisses my forehead.

I smile.

"You sure you don't want to know what we're having?" I ask him.

"I'm fine either way." He says. "I'll just be so glad when we meet them."

"Me too." I say.

"We should go shopping this weekend. Get stuff set up for their room." He says.

"You do realize we will get lots of stuff at our baby shower, right?" I say.

"Yes but no one will paint the room." He says.

"You want to paint our kid's room already?" I ask.

"Well, we should at least start looking at colors. God knows we won't agree on one easily." He smiles.

"Fine." I say. "This weekend." I say and start to head towards the door.

"Yes." He says. "Goodbye kiss?" He asks.

I kiss him then he kisses my stomach.

"Bye Annie, bye baby." Finnick says and I smile.

"Bye Finnick." I say and close the door.

Work seems to go bye slowly today. Ever since that book got the movie deal it seems that the press is always here.

I wasn't the publisher but, the company is involved.

"Gregg." I say and walk into his office.

"Miss. Annie you look radiant today." He says.

"What do you want?" I ask. Gregg was also here from the beginning. He's nice and I would consider us friends. He helped Finnick and myself move into our current apartment and we have always gone to his house for Labor Day.

"I was wondering if you could get rid of all these people." He says and motions towards the lobby.

"I don't like it either but it's getting us noticed." I say. "And why me?" I ask.

"Because people have more sympathy for pregnant woman." He says and I roll my eyes.

"I'll try and do it if you publish this book. Twenty- thousand for the first run." I say.

"That's not that much-" He says and takes the manuscript from me.

"See how it sells first then we can print more on the next run." I say. I wince and put my hand on my stomach.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"My baby is just moving around." I say.

"Good because I don't want you to go into labor here. I don't think Finnick will be fond of that either." He said.

"Well, give me maternity leave early enough and I think we'll be okay."

"Don't worry I've already been thinking about that. I just remember when my wife had our daughter." He says and I nod. "You'll get a long paid maternity leave."

"Good." I say. I wasn't very worried about it. Finnick was though. But since I've been here since the company was at the crappy beginning I think I earned it.

I go to the lobby and get the dwellers and other people to leave.

"Christina." I say to our receptionist.

"Yes Mrs. Odair?" She asks.

"Please don't let a crowd come in here. Try and send them away. Are there any important appointments today?" I ask and she looks down at her notes.

"Nothing for you today." She smiles.

"Thank you." I tell her.

"You're welcome." She smiles.

I think she hates me for some reason. Even though I'm reason she got the job.

I go back to my office and sit down.

I rub my stomach when I feel a kick again. I scrunch my eyes together. The baby has been moving around a lot recently. I've also had some bab cramps.

It's nothing really but, it isn't the best thing. At least I'm not throwing up all time or my having my breasts ache.

When it hits four I pack up my stuff to go home. I usually leave early on Fridays.

Once I'm home I take off my work clothes and put on sweats. Something much more comfortable. Maternity clothes are still uncomfortable no matter how you slice it.

Finnick comes home in an hour. He smells like fish so I know he was working with the whales today.

Finnick takes a shower. I hate the smell of fish usually but my pregnancy has made it worse.

Finnick kisses me.

"Have a nice day?" He asks. He smells like shampoo, nice and clean.

"Yeah." I say and rub my stomach.

"You okay?" He asks.

"I just have stomach cramps. I think I shouldn't have had a turkey sandwich." I say. Turkey has made me nauseous ever since I got pregnant.

Finnick nods and kisses me.

"What do you want for dinner?" He asks.

We always order in on Fridays.

"Just pizza with cheese only on my side." I say.

He nods. Certain veggies make me feel ill still, but since I already feel bad I guess it shouldn't matter.

Finnick and I watch a terrible romantic comedy that is playing on television.

"Mmh." I say and put my hand on my stomach. "I can't eat anymore." I say and put down my piece.

Finnick nods.

"Do you feel sick?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"I think I'm just tired." I say.

Finnick nods.

I go to bed early tonight. I just don't feel it. It takes me awhile to fall asleep. By the time Finnick comes into bed I'm still up. My stomach doesn't hurt much but being pregnant makes sleeping not so easy.

Finnick and I waited five years after we got married to have kids. Mostly because we got married right out of college and I didn't want kids then. I wanted to have a decent job first. Finnick and I both have stable jobs and we have enough money to support a child. Still I'm nervous we'll run out of money or something.

I'm sure it's just a first time mom thing. I know Finnick and I will be able to care for our child.

I feel Finnick kiss my forehead before I drift off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Do you like the yellow or green better?" Finnick asks holding out paint splotches. We went to look at paint samples for the baby's room like Finnick wanted. I still think it's too early but I can tell Finnick gets excited when picking out things for our baby. I wonder what it will be like when we pick out their name.

Finnick and I decided a light yellow or soft green is neutral enough. As long it is soft and calming I'll be okay with it.

I shift my feet and breathe in and out deeply.

"I personally think the green looks better. Yellow can be straining to look at." Finnick says.

"I agree." I say and shift my feet.

Finnick looks towards me concerned.

"You okay?" He asks.

"I'm just tired. I didn't sleep well last night and my feet hurt. The baby is doing summersaults."

I rub my stomach.

Finnick looks worried.

"I just don't feel good." I whisper.

He kisses my cheek.

"We can just take the color splotches and look at them at home." Finnick says.

"Okay." I say.

Finnick grabs them and we leave.

I take Finnick's hand and grip it tightly.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I'm just lightheaded."

"We're almost to the car." Finnick says gently.

When we get to the car I lean my seat all the way back.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Finnick asks as he gets in.

"I'm fine." I say. "I just need to lie down." I suddenly got terrible vertigo. I will probably throw up when we get home.

Finnick starts the car and we head home. Finnick helps me into the house and I go to the bedroom to lie down.

I don't throw up but the room feels like it's spinning.

I hear Finnick come in the bedroom a few hours later.

Finnick sits on the bed and rubs his hand up and down my back.

"Ann." He whispers and kisses my forehead.

"Yes?" I say and sit up.

"Do you feel better?"

I nod.

"I think so." I say the room isn't spinning anymore.

He nods.

"You've been a little off the past couple of days." He says and kisses my forehead.

"I know. I think it's just a weird time for baby and me right now." I say.

Finnick nods.

I leave the bedroom to eat. Finnick and I go over the paint colors. We did agree on a light green. However we each have a different favorite we like.

We eventually decide to take a break and watch television. I cuddle up next to him.

After a couple episodes of Homeland my stomach starts to hurt. Really hurt. It feels like something is ripping inside me. It feels like something is trying to rip it's way out.

I scrunch my face and feel faint.

"I still don't understand this show" Finnick says.

"I um." My mind is starting to go blank. "Oh Finnick." I almost moan.

"What's wrong?" He asks and starts rubbing my shoulders.

I rub my stomach.

"Something's wrong." I say softly.

"Why do you think that?" He asks and runs fingers through my hair.

"Something doesn't feel right." I say and cradle my stomach.

Finnick kisses my cheek.

"I think I should get looked at." I whimper.

"Let's go to the hospital then." Finnick says calmly. I think he is only doing this for my benefit but I know something isn't right.

We get checked into the ER and I lean against Finnick as he fills out the paper work.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out. It seems to take forever for my name to be called. Finnick keeps stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head.

The doctor asks me some questions and I answer them. Finnick is tracing circles on my hand.

"Let's just take a look at your baby." He says and I automatically lift up my shirt so they can put goo on my stomach. "Okay." The doctor says and starts rolling the instrument in the goo. "And how long have you been feeling these discomforts Annie?" He asks.

"Just the past few days." I say softly.

He keeps looking at the image and I keep getting a bad feeling.

"Annie, does your family have a history of preterm labor?" He asks.

"No. Is that what you think is happening?" I ask worried. I'm not full term yet and I know if I gave birth right now there would be complications, or worse.

"Possibly. We're going to admit you and see what happens."

"That's it? You don't know what's wrong with me or if my baby is alright?" I ask slightly angry.

"I want to watch you for a few hours and then I can make a more significant decision."

"Will I be staying overnight?" I ask.

"Depends on the outcome." He says and puts things on my stomach then leaves.

"I'm sure everything is fine Annie." Finnick whispers and kisses my forehead.

"Finnick, if something happens-"

"Annie, nothing bad is going to happen." He says.

"What if it does?" I ask. "They'll be sick. Really sick and some preterm babies-"

"Annie don't worry about that now." Finnick says gently and brings my hand to his lips. "Right now everything is okay." He kisses my lips. "Okay?" He says and I nod.

"Okay." I whisper.

But it isn't. They do determine after an hour that I am going through the early stages of labor. They give me a drug that will try and slow down the labor. Since it is still in the early stages they might be able to stop it. They also give me a drug that will speed up the development process of our baby's lungs because those are the last things that get developed.

"Finnick." I whimper.

"Shh. It's going to be okay." Finnick says.

"What if something happens to our baby?" I whisper.

"Annie they're going to be fine." He says.

"Finnick I don't know. Aren't you listening to what they are saying?" I say.

"They keep saying 'if' Annie. Nothing bad has happened yet. So don't worry."

I nod.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes Ann." He says and pushes hair from my eyes. He only calls me Ann when I'm really upset or he is trying to make me feel better. It's not usually a good thing when he calls me this.

"This isn't my fault is it?" I ask.

"No." Finnick says and kisses my cheek. "You didn't do anything wrong." He says. He isn't a doctor so that doesn't really make me feel better.

"I'll be right back." Finnick says and leaves the room to go to the bathroom.

"Excuse me." I say to the doctor as he is looking over things.

"Yes?" He smiles.

"This isn't my fault is it?" I whisper.

"That depends on certain variables." He says.

"Such as?" I ask.

"Did you drink or smoke?" He asks.

"No." I say.

He nods and messes with some things.

"Probably not."

"Then why is this happening?" I ask.

"That is currently unknown in the medical field." He says and I sigh.

"When do you know if the slowing down drugs are working?" I ask.

"When the signs stop showing."

"Do you think I will be going home?" I ask and see Finnick come back.

"Too soon to tell." He says with a smile.

"What were you talking about?" Finnick asks. When the doctor leaves.

"If they could tell if the drugs were working." I say.

Finnick nods.

"Do you feel in pain?" Finnick asks and I shake my head. "Then it might be working. "

I nod.

I lean back in the bed and sigh deeply. I close my eyes and Finnick brings my hand to his lips. I smile. I will feel bad if I fall asleep because it's not like Finnick can lie down anywhere. I'm too worried to fall asleep anyways. I'm too worried about our baby.

Finnick and I don't talk much.

I breathe in and out deeply. I start to feel a pain in my back.

"Are you okay?" Finnick asks.

"My back." I say softly.

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"Finnick." I say and sit in a different position.

"Yes." He smiles.

I swallow hard.

"I think they won't be able to stop this. I think our baby will be coming tonight or tomorrow." I say softly. I would be happy about this under different circumstances.

Finnick nods.

"It'll be okay Ann." Finnick says in a strange tone.

"We can't do anything for them. They're gonna be so sick."

"Annie, stop." Finnick says and smiles. "You're thinking worse case scenario."

"Am I? Or am I just thinking realistically? " I ask softly.

Finnick kisses my cheek.

He's about to say something when the doctor comes in. It's a different doctor the others shift must've ended. We've been here almost all night. I've been dozing on and off and Finnick has gotten more comfortable in a chair. He still holds my hand though.

"Any new discomforts?" He asks.

I nod.

"I have this pain in my back. It comes and goes. I think-" I say. I think I'm starting to have contractions.

"We should examine your cervix. It sounds like you might be going into labor." He says.

He looks at me and tells me that I am two centimeters dilated already.

I won't be going home. They may have slowed the labor down for a few hours but it doesn't matter because I'm going to be giving birth to a baby that isn't fully developed yet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The labor is terrible. It hurts but I feel like I deserve it because our baby is coming too early.

"Finnick." I whimper.

"How are you Ann?" He asks and kisses my forehead.

"Terrible." I whimper.

"Do you want drugs? They said there was still time." Finnick says.

I shake my head.

"I deserve this." I say softly.

"Deserve being in pain?" Finnick asks. He keeps stroking my hair. I put it up awhile ago. Although my I can feel my bangs starting to stick to my forehead.

"Yes because our baby is coming too early."

"Annie. They already said you did nothing wrong. You don't need to be in pain."

I sniffle. How can Finnick think that? I clearly did something wrong. Maybe I ate something bad or didn't take the right amount of vitamins. Maybe Finnick and I shouldn't have had sex the first few months of my pregnancy. Maybe I-

I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"Don't cry sweetie." Finnick says and kisses it away. "We'll be okay. All three of us."

"How can I not cry?" I whisper.

"Annie nothing bad has happened yet." He says.

I sniffle.

"But Finnick statistically-" Finnick looks around me.

"Give me your phone." He says and reaches for it.

"But Finnick-"

"Annie webmd or whatever you're looking at isn't always right. You thought you had appendicitis when you just had food poisoning once.

"The symptoms were similar." I mumble.

"Annie, you're just making this worse for you by looking at that."

"But this isn't the same. I know what is wrong with me." I say.

"Just give it to me." Finnick says not as gentle.

I give it to him slowly. I don't let him take it so easily. My grasp is tight. It makes me feel better and worse for reading what webmd was saying. I sort of know what to expect.

"Annie you can ask the doctor not go snooping on the Internet." He says and kisses my cheek.

"They don't know what will exactly-"

"Exactly, they don't know. I'm not naive enough to think everything will be okay but I'm not going to go on the Internet to look up all the bad things that might happen." Finnick says gently.

I hug him.

"I just love them so much." I whisper. It might sound strange to Finnick because we haven't even met our baby yet but I can tell I love them already. When I feel then move and see them grow. I feel something. Finnick might not feel the same way or, if he does it's probably not the same. But I do love them. So much.

"I love them too." Finnick whispers and rubs my stomach.

"I just don't want anything-"

"You're going to drive yourself crazy thinking about all the possibilities. Besides, in a couple hours you'll know. We'll both know." He says.

"I guess that's better but if they're dead already?" I whisper.

"Annie, you can still feel them moving around." Finnick reminds me.

I nod.

He kisses my forehead.

"Here." He says and gives me some ice chips the only thing you can eat while you're in labor. "Just sit back and try to relax." He says and rubs my forearm.

It doesn't really help because the labor is staring to pick up. The contractions are coming and going faster.

I breathe in and out deeply and hold onto Finnick's hand tightly. Finnick doesn't have to ask he knows I'm having another contraction.

I sigh when it's over.

"Get the drugs Annie." He says.

I sigh.

"This will be the only time I encourage the use of taking drugs."

I smile.

I reluctantly get drugs. I can still feel the pain just duller which makes me feel better. I feel like I need to punish myself somehow.

Although when it gets further and further into labor it starts to feel terrible. I don't think I'll ever complain about period cramps again. It's similar but so much worse because it never goes away.

"Finnick." I whimper.

"You're okay." Finnick says and strokes my hair until a contraction is over. "I love you."

A couple hours later the doctor comes into the room.

"Let's see how you're doing." She smiles.

Terrible I think to myself.

She smiles after examining me.

"You're at nine cementers. It's almost time to try pushing ." The doctor says and smiles.

I guess an hour to the doctor is almost.

The doctor goes to the nurse and whispers something.

The nurse nods and leaves. So does the doctor maybe to get something. I don't know. I'm starting to feel scared.

I look at Finnick.

"Almost there." He smiles but it soon fades. "What's wrong?" He asks and rubs my shoulders.

"I'm so scared." I whisper and sniffle.

"Don't be Annie. You can do it." He says.

I nod and he kisses the top of my head.

"I know you can." He says and kisses my cheek again.

I sniffle and nod again. We sit and silence and I voice my other fear.

"But what happens after-" I start.

"Don't worry about it now. Just focus on giving birth to our child." He says.

"Finnick." I whimper.

"Don't cry sweetie." He says and kisses my cheek. A nurse comes in and I back away from Finnick.

She looks at me and smiles. I wonder what she is thinking.

Probably nothing special, she probably goes to birth babies all the time.

"It's time to try pushing." She says and leaves. The doctor comes and a few more nurses. I guess this is the 'team' to take care of our baby.

"10…9…8...7…6…5…4…3…2…1" They count down until I can stop pushing.

Finnick rubs my shoulders. Even though I have been pushing forty five minutes nothing really has happened. Apparently this is not uncommon for a first time Mom. I can feel myself wanting to push but they tell me to wait until the next contraction.

I breathe in and out deeply again when I feel a contraction about to start.

I groan and push.

"Probably just a few more pushes Annie." The doctor encourages. I nod weakly.

"Finnick." I say and reach for his hand.

He takes it happily.

"You're doing great." He says and puts my hand to his lips.

"10…9…8..."

I groan loudly.

After a few more contractions. I feel relief.

"It's a girl!" Someone shouts.

"A girl." I whisper and lean back.

However after a few minutes

I realize she isn't crying. I look around the room trying to see her but can't. There are too many people moving around her.

"Why isn't she crying?" I finally ask.

Too much chaos is going on around the room that I don't know if anyone heard me.

"Why isn't she crying?" I say louder and more hysterical this time. I still don't get an answer but, they put her in a clear box and start to take her away. They are also hooking things up to her.

"She's so small." I whisper. Finnick kisses my forehead. "Where are they taking her?" I ask.

I don't get an answer.

"You just need to deliver the placenta now." The nurse says instead.

"Where are they taking my daughter?" I ask.

"To the NICU. That is where most premature babies go when there are complications."

"What kind of complications?" I ask worried.

"I'm not entirely sure at the moment but her lungs are underdeveloped."

"That's why she wasn't crying?" I ask. The nurse nods.

"Annie." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

"Let's deliver your placenta and then you can find out more information."

"But-"

"Or Your husband can find out." She says.

"Go." I say to Finnick. He kisses the top of my head and leaves the room quickly.

I deliver the placenta and get a gross feeling. It looks disgusting it has blood and mucus.

"Why do some woman want to eat that? It looks disgusting." I ask.

"It has nice protein." The nurse says and gets rid of it.

"Right." I say unamused. "When can I see her?" I ask.

"I don't have that information but it will be soon."

"Can I hold her then?" I ask.

"I don't have that information." She says. Her tone of voice says no.

I sigh.

"I'll be right back." She says.

She needs to fix some stuff up down there. I didn't need stitches just some bandages. Guys really are luckier in this department.

I wonder how much harder the labor would've been if our daughter was full term. I feel spent just from giving birth to a three pound baby.

I start to feel tired. I almost fall asleep when I realize Finnick still isn't back.

I won't fall asleep until he returns, which seems to be forever. It's definitely been over an hour since I've given birth.

Finnick comes back within thirty minutes after my worrying.

"Is she okay?" I whimper.

Finnick nods.

"She's okay. They have her hooked up to a couple machines but she's stable right now." He says in a strange tone. That doesn't sound like she's okay.

"What's wrong with her?" I ask.

"Her lungs are underdeveloped and

they said something about an infection."

"What kind of infection?" I ask.

"I don't remember the name. They said it was easily treatable."

"What about the lung thing?" I ask.

"They can treat that. It's very common apparently." He says.

"She's really small Finnick." I say.

"They can feed her with a tube. When she gains enough weight and everything else is okay we can take her home." Finnick says and kisses my cheek.

"So the chance of taking her home is a good one?" I ask.

"For now." He says.

"That doesn't sound good." I whisper.

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"She looks okay now."

"What does she look like?" I ask because I really didn't get to see. I saw her covered in mucus and some blood but other than that

"She's beautiful just like you." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

"What aren't you telling me?" I ask because he seems different.

"She might be in the hospital for awhile because of how tiny she is and because of the lung development."

I breathe in and out deeply.

"We're going to be able to take her home, right? I mean she isn't going to-"

Finnick kisses me.

"Right now she's fine." He says. "She's in the best place for her. These people can take care of her."

Finnick puts down the bed railing so I can hug him better.

"It's okay." Finnick says and rocks me back and forth gently. "You're okay."

I bury my face in his shoulder and sniffle.

I'm trying not to cry but it is just messing up my heart rate and breathing that the nurses are alarmed.

When they leave Finnick cups my face.

"You can cry if you want to." Finnick says as his thumb runs over my cheek bones.

I motion for Finnick to come closer so I can hug him.

I bury my face in his shoulder. I make a whimpering noise and then start crying.

"You're okay. We're okay." Finnick whispers and runs his hands up and down my back. "You're okay." He whispers.

I hear the curtain open but it soon closes.

I don't know how long I hold onto Finnick but when I let go of Finnick he smiles.

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love you too." I say.

"You should try and sleep. I know you're probably tired."

"I am but I don't know if I can fall asleep."

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"At least try." He kisses me


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I open my eyes slowly. I see I'm still in the hospital, I was almost hoping that was a dream. When I called Gregg yesterday he seemed odd. He said I could stay at home as long as necessary. He would just consider this my maternity leave. Which technically this is because I did give birth and am still healing.

I hear Finnick talking to someone.

"Yeah Annie gave birth to a little girl. Our little girl. She's fine. Our daughter? She's okay at the moment but, she won't be going home with us anytime soon."

I turn to him with a smile.

"Who's that?" I whisper.

"Mom." He mouths.

I nod and roll over.

I press the nurse station button while Finnick is still on the phone.

I ask for Advil because of the pain in my area. They gave me special underwear to wear so I won't bleed everywhere.

There are lots of things television shows don't share with you. I expected everything from what the doctor told me but I didn't think it would be this bad. I've had a few small contractions still. I'm bleeding almost 24/7 while my uterus is trying to get back to normal.

I really wish a guy could experience something like this. I think I would feel a little better if I just got to hold my daughter.

After the nurse comes in and looks at me she gives me pain pills.

Finnick hangs up the phone.

"Are you okay?" Finnick asks me and kisses the top of my head.

I sigh.

"I hurt all over from giving birth, I'm almost afraid to go to the bathroom for how badly it hurts, I keep bleeding, my breasts are starting to hurt because the milk is coming in, and I haven't seen our daughter." I say with no emotion.

Finnick sighs and holds my hand. He kisses me softly.

"I'm sorry Annie. I wish I could take some of the pain you're feeling away." He says and strokes my hair.

"I just really want to see her." I say. "The other stuff doesn't really matter." I say. It does matter but not as much as our daughter. I don't even want to look at myself down there. I've literally had to ice my genitals. You expect giving birth to hurt but not what'll happen after. Except holding a cute little baby in your arms.

Finnick starts rubbing my shoulders.

"You'll probably be able to see her soon." He says.

I'm so jealous of Finnick. I'm sure he can tell from how I'm complaining. I'm acting like a teenager. Finnick doesn't seem to mind, I think it's because he understands.

"Why did your Mom call?" I ask.

"She wanted to ask if I wanted any of my childhood keepsakes because she is cleaning out the basement."

"And you told her I gave birth as well?" I ask. I sound annoyed for some reason.

"Yes." Finnick says confused.

"Why?" I ask.

"Why?" Finnick asks confused and I nod. "Because I wanted to share that we have a daughter now." He smiles and kisses my cheek.

I sigh.

"What's wrong?" Finnick asks now worried. "Did you not want anyone to know?" He asks.

"It's not that." I clear my throat. "I just want to make sure she's safe first."

Finnick kisses me.

"I won't tell anyone else then." He says.

"No. I wanted to tell my Mom." I say softly.

Finnick nods.

"I just don't want everyone to know. Not until I know she's safe." I whisper.

"Okay." He says and kisses me. "Maybe you should try to rest. I think it might make you feel better." He says and rubs my shoulders which are sore from labor.

"Okay." I whisper. I'm sure it will help and it's not like I can see our daughter. "Wake me up if you find out anything." I say.

He nods.

* * *

I do call my Mom. She's excited but I could also tell she was worried. At least I'm not the only person who isn't very excited.

"Here you go Annie." Finnick says and hands me a milkshake. I can eat whatever now so, I let Finnick get me food that's not so great for me.

It's been a couple days since I've given birth. I'm supposed to be going home soon, probably tomorrow.

I know our daughter won't be coming home with us. They haven't said it but I know. She's isn't in a good enough condition. She still can't really breath, eat, or go potty by herself. She also has jaundice now. That can be treated but since she has such a low immune system I don't know what to expect.

With all this going on Finnick still needed to call our insurance. They won't be covering everything. Finnick and I aren't in financial debt but we will have to spend less money now. I don't think it's fair because our baby does need all of this stuff but we can't exactly fight the insurance company. Finnick has tried but neither of us are in the best mood. Emotionally drained I think is the best way to describe it.

I still haven't gotten to see her. Finnick hasn't gotten to hold her but he has seen her in her incubator.

"She looks good today." He says and takes a bite from his sandwich.

"Does she still look yellow?" I ask.

"A little but, they said she was reacting well to the treatment."

"That's good." I whisper and take a long sip from my milkshake.

"You okay?" He asks.

I shake my head. Finnick seems more excited about her than I do.

"Aren't you scared? Aren't you worried what is going to happen to our daughter? She's really sick-"

"Annie shhh." He says and hugs me.

"I guess I'm not very happy or excited because I don't want to get myself worked up when my heart might break in half. I don't want to get too excited in case she never makes it home."

"You can't think like that Annie." He says and strokes my hair.

"How can I not?" I whisper.

* * *

"You can't discharge me yet my daughter is still here." I say harshly. I knew she wouldn't be coming home with us but I didn't think they would have me leave the hospital.

I also didn't expect it to hurt this badly leaving my baby. I carried her around. She lived inside me for almost eight months. I could feel her growing with life.

I sniffle.

"You are two different patients. It would be best for everyone if you go home. Your body still hasn't fully recovered from giving birth." The nurse says gently.

"But my daughter-" I say softly.

"She's in good hands Annie." Finnick says gently and kisses my forehead.

I nod.

"And we will call you when any new developments happen." The nurse says.

"See they'll tell us as soon as she gets better." Finnick says gently.

"Or worse." I mutter. I don't think the nurse heard but since Finnick kisses the top of my head I know he did.

"I'm gonna pull the car around Annie." Finnick says and the nurse wheels me down to the exit.

It is hospital policy that patients need to be escorted out on a wheelchair.

I see our car waiting. Finnick helps me into it.

"Finnick I don't need to go home." I say as we start to leave the parking garage.

I wipe a tear that has made its escape from my eye.

"Annie you should, even if it's for a few hours. Won't it be nice to sleep in our own bed. Won't it be nice to take a shower? Won't it be nice to eat different food-"

"I don't care about that stuff." I whimper as a few more tears escape.

"Annie we should go home that's what the doctors said. They said for just a few days. I can stay at the hospital and watch our daughter if you want." He says.

I breathe in and out deeply.

"It will be okay Ann." He says gently.

I put my hands over my face. I just want to block out the world right not but I can't. It just rolls over me like a wave. I start sobbing.

"She was supposed to be going home with us." I whimper. "She was… she was…" I become overwhelmed and can no longer talk I just sob.

Finnick's driving so he can't really comfort me.

When I'm cried out I sniffle.

I rub the tears and snot from my eyes.

Finnick just drives in silence.

"We should name her." Finnick says after a few minutes. It's been almost four days and we haven't named her yet. I guess we didn't have the time. Or we didn't want to yet. "We can't use pronouns for the rest of her life." Finnick smiles.

I sniffle.

"Finnick-" I start not really wanting to discuss this.

"My Grandma wants a granddaughter named Grace; after her." Finnick starts. "Although I'm not sure how I feel about that."

I sniffle.

"I've always liked Emily or Amelia." He says trying to distract me.

I clear my throat.

"Olivia that should be her name." I say softly. I've always been fond of this name and you don't meet many Olivia's these days. It's unique enough to not sound made up or stupid.

I don't look at him. I'm scared he'll hate the name.

"I love it." He says. I turn towards him and see he is smiling. "Maybe we could honor my Grandma in the middle name?" Finnick asks.

"Olivia Grace Odair." I whisper. "I love it." I whimper.

"Me too." He says.

I lean the chair back.

The hospital is almost two hours from our house.

I lean the chair back and close my eyes.

I'm only half asleep when I hear Finnick's voice. At first I think he is talking to me but then I hear him say Mom.

"Annie's fine. She's just tired and emotional." Finnick says. "I'm fine Mom."

I can vaguely make out what his Mom is saying.

"And my granddaughter?" I hear her say excited and worried.

"Her name is Olivia Grace." He says and I smile that we finally named her.

"Honored your Grandma." She says in approval.

"Yes." Finnick says.

"But how is she?"

"I don't know. She's really sick. Her lungs are underdeveloped and she might be getting an infection."

"Oh sweetie-"

"The doctors there aren't very upbeat either. They make sure you know what the realistic factor is."

"What does that mean sweetie?" His Mom asks. I would like to know as well. I didn't get to spend much time in the NICU. I didn't even know she was getting an infection.

"If Olivia can go home."

"Oh sweetie. Do you know when that will be?"

"I don't know. Olivia isn't doing too well at the moment."

"How is Annie reacting to all of this?" She asks.

"She doesn't have all the information. Annie wasn't always allowed in the NICU."

"You didn't tell her?"

"I couldn't. She keeps blaming herself."

"She's going to find out Finnick. You can't keep her from the hospital. She's going to go and see her daughter, your daughter."

"I know but, Olivia changes daily. I shouldn't worry about everything yet."

"But if Annie doesn't understand the seriousness of this-"

"She knows." He says. He's right I do know. I keep thinking she's going to stop breathing. I keep thinking she is going to die. I don't think Finnick has grasped the seriousness of this yet. I don't think he wants to accept that our daughter is virtually dying.

I make a moaning noise.

"Ann?" I hear him say.

"I'm fine." I say.

"I'll call you back Mom." Finnick says.

"You're not supposed to talk and drive." I say and fix my seat. "You should remember that when Olivia is in the back seat."

"You feel better?" He asks.

I sigh.

"I'd be lying if I said yes."

Finnick nods.

"I'm sure you'll feel a little better after you can sleep at home." Finnick says.

"I think I'll feel a little better once I'm closer to Olivia." I say. Finnick nods.

Finnick sets the keys in the bowl and sits down.

I go to take a shower. I haven't in three days.

I walk out and get dressed. I head to the kitchen, I want something to munch on.

"Finnick?" I say.

"Yeah?" He says.

I clear my throat.

"What time will we be leaving tomorrow?" I ask.

He sighs.

"Annie, I think you should stay one full day at home."

"I'll just be wondering about her." I say.

"Me too but, you need to take care of you Annie. The doctors said you should relax for a couple days."

I lean into Finnick.

"Check on her then. Stay at the hospital all day. She needs to know we love her." I whisper.

Finnick wipes a tear away.

"She will." Finnick says and kisses my cheek.

* * *

The days go by, some are good, while others are bad. The doctors here don't want to give you any false sense of hope. They want to make sure you understand that your child is very sick and that there is a high possibility they will die.

Oliva has been here two weeks. She's getting better. They say we might be able to start feeding her by ourselves.

Finnick and I have only gotten to hold her once. It felt nice but, strange as well. She still had things hooked up to her.

Finnick and I have awkward conversations with the other parents in the NICU. The ones who talk to us just to seek out conversations. I think they just want someone to listen to them. I think they want someone to talk to because they know they can understand.

Although when I see the couple of baby girl Martha get worse so does my stomach.

Some of the couples in here are so cold to one another that I wonder if they were always like that or if their sick child is making them do this. I could never be so cold to Finnick.

One day we saw a little boy die from heart failure. It was so sad.

I swallow hard. Finnick had to go back to work. He's only going part time. I don't need to go because this is my maternity leave. Gregg understood. He has a five year old girl and a two year old boy. I could tell he felt sorry for us.

I hear my phone go off as I'm watching Olivia in the hospital.

"Hey." I say and smile.

"How is she?" Finnick asks.

"She seems to be doing well. Although I'm not good at deflecting the parents. So the Parkers and I had a depressing conversation." I say. The Parkers have been here for almost two months. They're baby is doing well. But they think he will never go home.

They like asking about what is wrong number with Olivia. I don't want to share that information. The people Finnick and I are close to don't even have that information.

"Don't worry I will be there soon." He says.

Although soon is two hours. Finnick and I stay with her for a few hours before we go home. The nurses say everything with Olivia is doing well.

I don't always like leaving her but, when the nurses say everything is fine I feel more comfortable.

"I think we'll be able to take her home soon." Finnick says.

"I hope so." I whisper and look out the car window.

"She's getting better Annie." He says with a smile.

"I know." I say.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I hear a ringing. I think I'm dreaming about being in a clock tower again. A strange recurring dream I've since I was little. I had much stranger when I was pregnant.

I hear the ringing again and open my eyes. It's just the phone, Finnick's phone to be exact.

I moan and roll over. It's clearly not my problem if it's Finnick's phone. I just wonder what is so urgent that someone needs to call him now.

"Hello?" I hear Finnick say softly. I feel the bed shift so he can take the phone in the hall. I hear him come back in seconds later. "Annie get up." Finnick says and shakes my shoulder roughly.

"Finnick." I moan and roll over.

"Get up." He commands and shakes my shoulder again.

"What?" I moan. I open my eyes and see he has that worried panicked look in his eyes. "Is something wrong?" I ask.

"Get up we need to go to the hospital." Finnick says.

"Why?" I ask and rub sleep from my eyes. I get out of bed and shiver from the cold. Maybe I'm not awake enough to realize there is only reason the hospital would call us at four am.

"Olivia." He says.

"What's wrong with her?" I ask. I start putting on sweat pants. I don't bother putting on a different shirt or bra. I just pull a hoodie over me. You won't be able to tell. "Finnick?" I press. "Is she okay? Is she alive?" I ask as we leave our bedroom. Finnick grabs the car keys.

"She's… alive." He says very calculated.

"Then why do we need to go to the hospital at four am?" I ask as we get in the car. "Do we need to make a decision or something?" I ask but, he doesn't say anything. "What's wrong with her?" I ask. He doesn't say anything. I do notice he is going twenty over the speed limit. "What's wrong with her Finnick?" I ask with more force.

"They just said we should come to the hospital as soon as possible. They said something wasn't right."

"That's it?" I say annoyed. If someone told me to come to the hospital ASAP I would want to know why. Especially since this is our daughter.

"When they said get to the hospital as soon as possible I didn't really care why." Finnick says slightly angry.

"Sorry." I say gently.

"It's okay. I'm just worried, especially since we live almost two hours away." He says.

"I know." I whisper. "You don't think-"

"She was fine a few hours ago. They probably just need us to sign something." He says.

"At four am?" I say skeptical.

Finnick sighs frustrated.

"Finnick if this is the end and she-" I say. I can't say the rest.

Finnick doesn't say anything for awhile.

"We'll be okay." He says softly. "I have you." He whispers but, doesn't take his eyes from the road.

I nod.

The rest of the drive is silent. We make occasional comments but we really don't want to say anything until we know she's okay. We finally get off the highway and then to the hospital. It takes us almost fifteen minutes to find a parking spot.

I take Finnick's hand as we go inside.

"Finnick." I whimper. A part of me doesn't want to go in there just in case something terrible is waiting for us.

He kisses the top of my head.

"Don't worry, not yet." Finnick says in that tone of voice where I know he's worried.

We get to the right floor and the nursing desk.

"Mrs. And Mr. Odair." One of the regular nurses say. Of course they would recognize us, Finnick and I come here every day. We spend hours here to see Olivia.

"What are we doing here?" I ask.

"Your daughter has an infection." The says

"You couldn't have told us this today? Or tomorrow?" Finnick asks.

"What kind of infection?" I ask.

"Pneumonia." She says. "We believe she got this by being one the ventilator."

"Isn't that supposed to help her breathe not give her an infection?" I ask.

"Yes but sometimes the use of the ventilator can cause an bacterial infection." She explains.

"So fix it." I say.

"We can't it's progressed too far." She says in a voice too gentle.

"So she's going to die." Finnick says. I guess we shouldn't beat around the bush. They would have to tell us outright anyways.

"Yes." She says and it feels like the wind has been knocked out of me "It's very likely. Unless, the antibacteria medication starts to work but it hasn't been showing any progress."

"So you called us down here so we could see her die?" I whisper. It's kind of cruel really but, they would have to tell us and at least we get to say goodbye.

"We don't know exactly when it will happen. But it will most likely be soon. Most parents like to say goodbye." She says gently.

"But-" I start. This is all happening too quickly. I've been given all this devastating information in five minutes. I'm having trouble breathing. Maybe I'm still asleep in bed at home and this is all one big nightmare.

"She's in a private room." The nurse says. She starts to lead us to the rooms where the really really sick babies go. Where the ones who usually die go.

We get in the room and I see her in her box.

"Can we hold her?" I ask.

"Of course. I'll give you some privacy." She says and leaves.

"She's dying." I whisper and go to her incubator. I feel my chin tremble.

"Why is she still hooked up to the ventilator then." Finnick asks but, I don't answer. I don't know the reason and I don't care why. It won't change anything.

I take her out of the box and hold her. She's bigger than she was when I gave birth. She's been alive for less than a month and now she's going to die.

I breathe in and out deeply.

"She's so pretty." I whisper. Finnick kisses the back of my head.

"Yes she is." Finnick says and kisses her.

"You can hold her." I say. Neither Finnick or myself have been able to hold her much. I guess we can now because she's dying.

He does.

"Precious." He says and kisses her head.

I don't know how long we're in here when I notice Olivia looks like she wants to cry. Her face is all scrunched and she looks almost in pain.

"It looks like she's in pain." I whisper. I don't want her to be in pain. I don't want her to be hurting the last few moments in her short life. I want to fix all of this. I kiss the top of her head.

"I think it's because of the ventilator. They should take it out. I think it's only drawing this out." Finnick says.

"I don't want her to die." I say. She makes a scrunched face and moans. She is in pain. I don't want her to be in pain. I kiss her forehead.

"I love you." I whisper. "Get one of the nurses." I say.

He does and the nurses do remove the ventilator. They were supposed to do it as soon as we got here. However, someone messed up. When it's gone she moans softly and starts squirming. She's going to die, soon. She's going to die.

"Finnick." I say and he strokes her face. She's making this moaning gasping noise. She can't breathe. I keep kissing her and Finnick holds her hand. Within twenty minutes her chest stops moving up and down and she stops moving. She's dead.

Even though she's dead I don't want to let go of her. She doesn't feel cold or anything. She could be a doll.

"What do we do now?" I ask and still cradle her close.

"I think we need to fill out paperwork." He says and rubs his eye. Finnick is about to cry too. I kiss her forehead.

"I don't want to let go of her." I whisper. "Because then it's real." I say and start crying.

"Annie." Finnick says and sits next to me. He keeps kissing my temple and stroking my hair.

"I can't let go of her." I whisper.

"Give her to me then." Finnick says gently and kisses my cheek.

I shake my head.

"Can't let go of her." I whisper and kiss her forehead again. Logically I know I can't stay in this room and hold her forever. But, I don't want to think of that because when I leave that room Finnick and I will no longer have a daughter. Our first child never made it back to our house. We never got to take home. We never got to see her grow up. We never got to see her healthy.

I only give her to Finnick when I feel like I'm going to throw up.

After I go to the bathroom, I feel like I should just run from the hospital. I can't deal with all of this. How can I move on from this? How will Finnick and I both move on from this.

"Annie?" I hear Finnick say. I look towards the door strangely. He isn't in the bathroom. He just opened the door. "Annie, if you're in here please let me know. I can't check every bathroom in this place." Finnick says.

I smile. I know he would too.

I leave the stall and walk towards him.

"There you are." He whispers once I'm in his arms. Finnick moves so we aren't blocking the bathroom door. "It's okay." He whispers and rocks us back and forth.

"No it's not." I say. Finnick kisses the top of my head. He doesn't respond he just starts to lead us somewhere.

"Where are you taking us?" I ask.

"We need to fill out paperwork." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

"What about Olivia?" I ask.

"They're keeping her safe." Finnick says.

I breathe in and out deeply. At least they are keeping her body. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I don't think I will ever be ready to say goodbye.

I sign some papers. It mostly has to do with her death certificate, hospital bills, things to be notarized, and a funeral. That one surprised me. Olivia wasn't even a month old but when someone is x amount of days old you are legally obligated to. Finnick dealt with most of the details. At the end of all of this the clerk gives us a pamphlet on how to cope with this. I rip it up in front of her.

"Let's go home." Finnick says when we are finished.

I sigh.

I look down at my phone and see it is two in the afternoon. I'm surprised. We didn't get here until six. Olivia didn't… pass away right away that was probably hours. I hid in the bathroom for roughly an hour. Then paperwork.

"I don't want to go." I whisper.

Finnick kisses my cheek. He laces his fingers with mine.

"It's going to be okay. We'll see her again." He says softly and starts leading us to the exit. The next time we will see her will be at her funeral. I don't think I can pick out a cute little outfit for that. It will be the only outfit she will ever wear. That's just too depressing and heartbreaking to think about.

We don't say anything else until we get to the car, Finnick talks first

"We should get something to eat." He says.

"We should get something to… what?" I ask startled. That should be the last thing on his mind.

"We haven't eaten anything all day Annie. We can just pick something up on the way home." He says and starts the car.

"That's what you care about right now?" I say.

Finnick sighs and turns the car off.

"I really would prefer if we waited until home until we get into all of this Annie." He says softly.

"I can't wait that long." I say.

Finnick runs his fingers though his hair.

"Annie I can't drive if we talk about this now."

I know what he means. Finnick isn't the best driver when he's upset. I don't think anyone is but, Finnick turns into a terrible driver almost like a drunk.

"Then I'll drive." I say.

"You're going to start crying." Finnick says gently.

I sigh. I know he's right.

"Fine just drive." I say slightly angry.

He turns the car back on. He stops at Wendy's before we get on the highway.

"You should eat something." Finnick says as he changes lanes. Finnick can eat anything while he's driving. I quite envy that fact.

"I'm not hungry." I say.

"You need to take care of yourself. At least have the frosty." He says.

Eating fast food isn't exactly taking care of myself but, I can't just stop eating.

I look over towards Finnick and see he is white knuckling the steering wheel. He's also going thirty over the limit.

"Finnick?" I say. I don't think he heard me. "Finnick?" I say again and rub his forearm.

He flinches.

"Slow down." I say. He looks at the dashboard.

"Oh sorry." He says and lays off the gas. "Everyone speeds though." He mumbles.

"You weren't just speeding. You were out of it." I say softly.

"Home Annie." He says.

"I love you Finnick." I say.

"I love you too." He says.

When we finally get home I just want to go to sleep, maybe when I wake up this will all have been a dream. But I also want to talk to Finnick. I want him to hold me and tell me everything will be alright.

Finnick and I sit in the couch. I hold him tightly. I don't know how long we hold onto each other but when my grasp loosens Finnick says the words I haven't wanted to hear.

"Our daughter is dead." He says softly and sniffles.

Finnick doesn't cry often, men aren't supposed to, but I think he's 'allowed' to cry this time.

"I know." I whisper and can feel my chin tremble.

"I thought she was okay." He whispers and kisses the top of my head. "She was getting better." He whispers.

"She was, she was doing better." I whisper. "I thought we were going to take her home, soon."

"She never came home. I guess it's a good thing we never agreed on a paint color." He says. He sounds almost cynical.

"Finnick." I say and rub his back. "I wanted her home too. I wanted to see her grow up. I wanted to see her hair color. I wanted to see..." I trail off there's so much I wanted to see that I can't name them all.

I lean my head against his chest while some tears leak out.

"What are we gonna do?" I whimper.

"What do you mean?" He asks. His voice is thick. He's been crying.

"How do we move on from this?" I whisper.

Finnick kisses me.

"I don't know." He whispers.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

I groan.

Yesterday we had Olivia's funeral. We didn't tell anyone. She's been dead for almost a week. I don't want anyone to yet but, it's not like I can avoid it forever. People are expecting me to give birth in a few months.

The only people who Finnick and I told are both of our Moms. My Mom wouldn't tell anyone else. I'm pretty sure Finnick's won't either. I think telling people makes it more real. Even though we buried her yesterday it still doesn't feel real.

Finnick and I picked a cute dress to put her in. The top was black and it had a green skirt. She looked beautiful. We took pictures as well. It was very depressing. When I held her this time, her body was cold and it was clear that she wasn't asleep, she was dead.

Finnick and I seem to be tiptoeing around each other. I still love him and he still loves me but something feels different. It feels like we are almost avoiding each other.

I hear my phone ring. I want to ignore it. The hospital calls me the most these days.

I pick it up and freeze when I see the caller. I answer it slowly.

"Hello?" I say woodenly.

"Annie! Are you excited to see me this weekend?" My sister Ella asks. I totally forgot she was going to come and visit Finnick and myself.

"Oh-" I start.

"I was thinking I could help you pick things out for your baby and give you some name suggestions. I've got a couple good ones-"

"Ella-" I start. It feels like something is blowing up in my stomach. She's still talking but I'm no longer listening. "Annie? Annie! Hello?" I hear and flinch.

"Oh uh… you don't need to do any of that." I say.

"I know but I want to." She says. I can tell she is smiling.

"Ella I don't think you should come up this weekend."

"I was kidding about picking out the name. That's clearly yours and Finnick's job."

"Ella Finnick and I already picked out the name." I say softly.

"Really what is it?" She asks excited.

"Olivia Grace." I say softly.

"And if it's a boy? I get the feeling it is going to be a boy Annie." She says.

"It's a girl." I say. I can feel my eyes fill with tears.

"I thought you and Finnick didn't want to know." She says confused.

"We didn't but uh, Ella I'm not really… pregnant."

"Annie I've seen the photos you've sent to me. You've got the baby bump." She says.

"I meant anymore." I say softly.

"You gave birth, already?" She says surprised.

"Yes." I say softly.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"I'm okay but our daughter is not." I say softly.

"Is she really sick?" Ella asks.

"She was." I say barely audible.

"She was? Does that mean she's better and I can see her?" Ella asks. Although I can tell she knows Olivia isn't better.

"She passed away a few days ago. In mine and Finnick's arms."

"Oh Annie." She whispers. "Maybe I shouldn't come this weekend." She says softly.

"I think that might be true." I whisper. Finnick and I need to spend more time alone together. I think our relationship is starting to change and not for the better. Both of us aren't going to work. We took time off to grieve. I didn't really want to be around anyone else. I know people will ask what happened as soon as they see me because, it's obvious I'm no longer pregnant.

After Ella hangs up I cry softly. Finnick opens the door. He went to get groceries.

I try and wipe my tears away but he will be able to tell I was crying. He's known me for too long. He loves me.

Finnick sets the stuff in the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Finnick asks as soon as he sees me. He sits next to me on the couch.

"I was talking to Ella. I had to tell her about Olivia." I whimper.

Finnick kisses the top of my head.

"I can't tell everybody Finnick. It's too sad. I still can't believe-" I can't finish.

I lean into his chest and his arms wrap tightly around me.

"I know." He kisses the top of my head. "I know." He whispers.

"I don't want to forget about her." I whisper. I'm afraid that when Finnick and I have another child we will forget all about Olivia.

"We won't." He whispers and kisses my cheek. "She was a part of us Annie. We won't just forget about her." He says and strokes my hair.

"I'm just worried about what will happen when we have another child. What if we forget all about her."

"We won't forget about her." Finnick reassures and runs his hands up and down my back.

I nod into his chest.

"Finnick." I whisper.

He kisses the top of my head.

"Yes?" He says.

I clear my throat.

"I don't… I don't… want to try for another kid right away." I whisper. Finnick and I aren't allowed to have sex for a couple more weeks. I don't care about that, I just don't want to have another baby so close to Olivia. Especially if this were to happen again.

"I know. Me too." He whispers and kisses my forehead.

"Okay. Good. I just needed to say it." I say and lean into his chest.

"I know." He starts playing with my hair "Not to say we'll never have a kid though?" He asks.

I nod.

"I want a kid with you Finnick Odair just not right now. Olivia…" I trail off.

"I understand. It's too painful right now." He whispers. "For both of us." He kisses my cheek.

I hold onto Finnick tightly.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too. I'll always love you, and we will get through this together." He whispers.

I push myself closer to him. I'm almost sitting on his lap.

"I know it's been weird the last couple of days." I whisper. "Between me and you."

"We're okay Annie." He says and kisses my forehead.

"You don't blame me do you?" I whisper not wanting to hear the answer. I keep blaming myself, who wouldn't.

"Of course not. You didn't do anything wrong. There was nothing nobody could've done." He says carefully.

"I should've known something wasn't right. I was tired and dizzy. My stomach was always hurting. I-"

"Annie. There's nothing you did wrong. You had been getting dizzy spells recently. Everyone gets tired and you got stomach aches all the time."

"Maybe that was a warning-" Finnick pulls me up so I can see his face.

"Sweetie there was nothing you could've done."

"I feel like I should've been able to do something. I was her Mother."

"Oh Annie." Finnick says sadly. "You couldn't have done anything." He says and kisses my cheek.

"I'll always think it was my fault." I say. "You'll never be able to convince me it wasn't." I say. I know deep deep deep down that I didn't do anything wrong but I will always feel like I did. I will always feel like I failed our daughter.

"Okay. But I don't blame you and you'll drive yourself crazy thinking of all the what ifs."

"Then I guess I'll drive myself crazy." I whisper and lean back into Finnick's chest.

Finnick sighs and kisses the top of my head.

"I'll always love you." He whispers.

I sniffle. I know he always will and I know he thinks I did nothing wrong. He's perfect and right now that is almost annoying.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Finnick and I aren't doing too great. We still love each other but it seems like we are tip toeing around something. It's like something in our relationship is now missing. I know it is related to Olivia's death. I just don't understand why.

I'm in the kitchen looking at the mail. I frown and start to feel helpless as I open a card. It's a card saying I'm sorry for your loss. Finnick and I started getting these in the mail a few days ago. I don't know how everyone suddenly found out. I told my Mom to spread the news around so I wouldn't have to tell anyone else. That's probably why these people know. I don't understand why they bother. If these people really cared about us they would call or respect Finnick's and mine's choice to be left alone.

People need to stop sending them because it makes me cry. Finnick just rips them up and throws them away. Sometimes he doesn't bother opening the envelope.

I lay my head on the table and cover my hair over my face. Finnick should be home from work soon. Hopefully he'll think I just fell asleep.

I'm going back to work next week. I'm fine with that. I don't really like just sitting around doing nothing. I would've gone back sooner but the doctor advised against it. As soon as I got the green light I got on the ball to go back to work.

I hear the door open and try to stay still.

"Hey." Finnick says while coming home from work. I don't turn his way. I can tell he brought home dinner from the smell. I haven't felt like making dinner. I keep thinking I'm depressed. I'm not sad all the time but I don't feel like myself.

My friend Johanna has come over to talk to me once she heard. Finnick's friend Peeta has come over too but he mostly wanted to talk to Finnick. It's awkward no matter how you put it. I think it is when ever someone dies. There never is a right thing to say or do. I think knowing that people care about your well being helps. I like knowing someone else is there for me besides Finnick.

"I got pizza, pepperoni and- Annie." Finnick says worried. He sets his stuff down and walks to the kitchen. He stars rubbing my back. "What's wrong?" He whispers. He moves my hair so it is no long covering my face. "Why are you crying?" He asks gently.

I shake my head and conceal my face into my arm.

"Annie, you can talk to me." He kisses the top of my head. "Okay?" He says and rubs my back.

I don't say anything.

Finnick sighs.

"I love you sweetie." He whispers. "Just please let me in and talk to me."

I sniffle.

Talking to Finnick has been becoming harder and harder. I used to be able to tell him anything, now I don't even want him to know what I'm feeling. It's been like this since Olivia's funeral.

Finnick hasn't gotten fed up with me and if he has, he doesn't bother sharing. It seems to be a theme with both of us now, not talking about our real problems but making light quips about how our day was.

"Are you okay?" He asks more serious this time. He sounds worried.

"No." I whimper.

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"Do you want to talk?" He asks.

"I… I-" I start but can feel myself about to cry so I shake my head.

Finnick sighs.

"I got dinner." He says instead knowing he won't be able to make me talk. He brings over the pizza box.

Finnick talks about his day. They got new interns at his work. Finnick is always likes when they get new people. Although he doesn't sound very excited in his tone. It sounds like he is reciting a speech. It's because he's forcing the conversation.

"They're setting up a new attraction in the reptile house. Not my area but, they seem to be excited about it. I think it's because the new Jurassic Park movie. Reptiles have been more…noticeable I think they put it. Even though people liked Jurassic Park because of the dinosaurs." Finnick says unamused. "As I recall you wanted to see it because it had the Parks and Recreation guy in it." Finnick says.

I nod and take a bite of the pizza. I reach my hand out for the packet of sprinkle cheese but Finnick stops me. He holds my hand instead.

"I just wanted the cheese Finnick." I say softly. It's the first real thing I've said since he has come home.

"I just wanted to hold your hand." He whispers.

"I'm sure the Beatles feel the same way." I mutter.

Finnick sighs.

"Annie how much longer can this go on?" He asks.

"What?" I ask confused.

"You and me not speaking." He says softly.

"We were just talking. You were talking about some reptile house and Chris Pratt." I say.

"You know what I mean Annie." He says. I do know what he means. The fact he noticed it as well makes me feel better and worse.

I look towards him. He looks sad. He doesn't look like the Finnick I'm used to.

"I…I don't know. I do love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He whisper and kisses my cheek. "But then why does it feel like I'm pulling teeth whenever I talk to you?" He asks and strokes my hair.

"That doesn't have to do with love." I whisper.

"No, but if we can't talk to each other… what kind of relationship is that?" He whispers.

My chin trembles and I hug him.

"I can't loose you Finnick." I whimper into his chest.

"I can't loose you either." He kisses the top of my head. "But we don't really have a relationship if we can't talk to each other."

I sniff.

"I can't talk to you about it because it hurts too much. You also think I didn't do anything wrong."

"Annie, sweetie, there's nothing you did wrong." He whispers.

I grasp onto Finnick tighter.

"I can't talk to you because you put me on a pedestal. You think I'm perfect. It hurts so much knowing that when I'm a failure." I whisper.

"Annie I don't put you on a pedestal. I know you're not perfect either." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"But, that failure part." I whimper.

"I'll never think you're a failure." He kisses the top of my head. "I can help you Annie but you just need to talk to me."

I pull Finnick close to me and start sobbing into his chest. Mourning our daughter and not talking to one another clearly isn't working.

The way Finnick is talking it's as if he's been thinking worse case scenario. It sounds like Finnick thinks our marriage is on a downward spiral and if it doesn't stop soon, we will be in danger of loosing one another forever.

I hiccup.

Finnick is rocking me back and forth. He has been for awhile now.

"Why haven't we gotten rid of all of it yet?" I whisper.

"Gotten rid of what?" Finnick whispers and kisses my forehead.

"All that stuff in… the spare room." I say. We still have all the baby stuff in there. We just keep the door closed but I still know it's in there.

"I thought closing the door was okay." Finnick says.

"I want it gone. It just has an illusion of what was supposed to happen." I whisper.

Finnick nods.

"We can rid of it tomorrow."

I nod.

"That's something." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

Finnick and I talk well into the night. We talk about the last few months. I mention all the things I wanted to say before. Finnick does the same. I cry. Finnick cries. We both cry. We figure out a lot and apologize for ignoring each other. I don't think one conversation, even though it was hours, will help the few months Finnick and I ignored each other. This won't be fixed up by tomorrow. I might just want to become more introverted and keep to myself. I think going back to work will help.

The next day Finnick moves all the baby stuff out of the spare room and puts it in storage. It's a start to move on at least.

* * *

"Oh Mrs. Odair." Christina says with a smile as soon as I walk into the building.

It's my first day back at work. I didn't sleep well the last night. I was dreading all the people I will need to talk to. These people are either going to offer their sorrows or ignore it completely. I don't know which one will be worse.

"Hi." I say softly.

"So sorry to hear what happened." She says and smiles.

"Me too." I whisper softly. "Do you have anything for me?" I ask.

She nods.

"Everything is waiting in your office." She says.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"Mrs. Odair." She says and I turn back around.

"Yes?" I ask.

"I truly am sorry." She says.

I nod and turn back around.

A few tears leak out while I make my way to my office.

I set my things down and see some paperwork, at least a dozen manuscripts and, messages from clients.

I sigh.

I start my day by calling people back. The people I am familiar with give their sympathies.

When it's mid day I close my office door. I've gotten condolences from the majority of the staff. We don't have many employees because the company is still growing.

Gregg and Conner haven't stopped by. Which I am thankful for. Their the bosses and founders of this place. I almost expected one of them to come by. Gregg is my friend. I've been to his house and he's been to mine as well. I've met his kids and wife. I think he didn't come because he knew I wouldn't like it, same as Conner.

I reach for my phone when I take my lunch. I reach for it debating if I should call.

I close my eyes and dial the number.

"Annie?" Finnick says worried.

"Hi." I say softly. "I know you're on lunch break so I thought I would call." I say. It will help trying to get our relationship back to normal. I've considered therapy but I don't think Finnick and I are in that type of danger. I think we can figure it out ourselves.

"That's sweet." He says and I smile.

"How is the first day back?" He asks.

"I think it will be better tomorrow." I say softly.

"Why?" He asks.

"I just have a lot of phone calls to make. People also keep saying how sorry they feel for me." I say and a tear rolls down my cheek.

"That's okay Annie." He says gently. "They're just trying to be nice."

"I know but it makes me feel sad." I say.

"I know. When I came back to work people did the same to me. It's all okay Annie, they mean well." He says.

I nod even though he can't see me.

"So, what have you been doing?" I ask.

"Nothing really, one of the whales is sick so I have been taking care of her." He says.

"I bet you're good at making them feel better." I say.

"Well yes, but that's part of the job." He says.

"Yeah but I bet you're the best." I say.

"I can't argue with that." He says.

It's silent.

"Annie we should go out this weekend." He says startling me.

"Like a date?" I tease.

"Exactly like a date." He says.

"Can married couples go on dates?" I ask skeptical and he laughs.

"Yes. I'll even set it all up. Just like before we got married." He says.

"Okay…yeah I'll go out with you Finnick." I say and smile.

"Good." He says. "I gotta go Annie." He says.

"Okay." I say. "I love you."

"Love you too. See you tonight." He says.

I hang up the phone and put my hand on my lips. I wonder what this date will be like. Either way, it will be nice to get away. Especially since Finnick and I are trying to strengthen our relationship.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Annie?" I hear Gregg say as he walks past my office.

I look up from my desk and take my glasses off.

"Hi." I say. He's looking at me worried.

"Working late?" He asks with a smile and comes in.

"I just need to finish this." I say and run my hands over the manuscript.

"You can read manuscripts at home. You have before." He says.

"When you get to a good spot it's hard to stop reading." I say and smile at him.

I get a sympathy smile in return. It looks like Gregg wants to say something.

"What?" I ask.

"I know this probably isn't my business but you've been working late ever since you came back."

"Well, I need to make up for lost time, it's my first week back." I say.

"Did you ever consider that you are staying here to hide from your problems?" He asks gently.

"I'm not hiding from anything." I say. I think I'm telling the truth. Finnick and I are better.

Finnick hasn't been very forthcoming of his idea for a date. I keep thinking it's just going to be dinner and a movie. There's nothing wrong with that, but since he is planning a week in advance I would think it would be something more dazzling.

"It's okay if you are Annie but, you shouldn't hide from your husband."

"I'm not hiding from Finnick." I say a bit too harsh. I've known Gregg for years and he's known Finnick as well. Finnick always goes to the work parties. Finnick and I have been to Gregg's house. We've me his wife and his two kids. We know him. "I just like having a distraction." I say.

He nods.

"Are you going to be coming to the pre thanksgiving party this year?" He asks probably trying to change to subject. Gregg always has a party at his house. Finnick and I usually go but not this year. We're going to be spending more time by ourselves. We might go see Finnick's Mom. Ever since we got married we have gone to her house for thanksgiving dinner.

Gregg usually has his party a few weeks before Thanksgiving and it's two weeks away.

"Finnick and I are going to see his Mom." I say.

Gregg nods.

"Shame. You won't get to meet Christina's boyfriend." He says with a teasing smile.

"I didn't know she had a boyfriend." I say.

Christina isn't that fond of me. I still haven't figure out as to why. Neither Gregg or Conner really wanted to hire her. She just got out of college and didn't have much experience. It's not that hard to answer phones and take messages though. There weren't many applicants so I pushed for her. I don't think she knows this but still, I want to know why she doesn't like me.

I have pleasant talk with most of the employees here. Some I've even spent time outside work with but, Christina doesn't want anything to do with me.

"It's new." Gregg explains. "He first came to the office when you were on medical leave. He seems like a good person and a little odd. But Christina seems to like him even though he is much older."

"How old?" I ask.

"Older than myself." He says. Gregg is in his mid thirties. Which mean this man could be forty.

"That's interesting." I say. I didn't think Christina was the gold digging type. Maybe she really does love him though. She's younger than me, I couldn't see myself dating anyone almost ten years my senior.

"I thought so as well but, you can't exactly choose who you love."

I nod.

"Well that is a shame I won't be seeing you Annie but you'll be in my thoughts."

"You as well Gregg." I say and he leaves.

I hear my phone go off.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Are you working late again?" Finnick asks. I can hear disappointment in his voice.

"I'm leaving the office now." I tell him.

"Good." I'll see you twenty then?" He asks.

"You will." I say.

"Goodbye Annie."

"Bye Finnick." I say and hang up.

* * *

"Annie." Christina says through the phone.

I pick it up.

"Yes?" I ask.

"You have a visitor." She says unamused.

"Who?" I ask.

"They want it to be a surprise." She says.

"I'll be right out." I say. It's probably Finnick. I can't think of who else it would be.

When I make it to the reception desk I see a man. One I'm not familiar with.

"Have we met?" I ask. He looks vaguely familiar.

"No, Mrs. Odair we haven't." He says. He looks familiar though. Something about his face or voice seems… familiar.

"How may I help you then?" I ask.

"I have a delivery for you." He says and holds out a clipboard.

"Oh." I say and walk towards him. "The receptionist can sign for packages." I say.

"I was under strict orders to give this to you and only you." He says.

"I see." I say. I wonder what it is.

"Very well." I say after I sign. I must say when he pulls out flowers I'm a little disappointed. I thought it would be something more expensive.

"Thanks." I say.

"No problem." He says. It sounds like he has an accent now.

"You sure we've never met?" I ask.

"I must have a familiar face." He says.

"Right." I say and take the flowers. They're white and pink roses. They must have cost a lot, roses are expensive.

I head to my office and look for a card. I don't see one, I wonder who sent them. It was probably Finnick. Who else would send me flowers?

* * *

I walk into my house carrying the flowers. I see Finnick reading on the couch.

"Who gave you those?" He asks.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny Finnick." I say and set them down.

"Why is that funny?" He asks.

"Didn't you give them to me?" I ask.

"No. You're not that fond of flowers. You say they're a waste of money." He says.

"Unless they're like the dollar ones." I say.

"I know." He says. "Who gave them to you?" He asks.

"They were delivered."

Finnick shrugs.

"Maybe they sent it to the wrong person."

"The delivery man wanted me to sign specifically."

Finnick shrugs.

"Does it matter who sent them they're pretty." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

"I guess." I whisper.

* * *

I gasp awake. I'm feel sweaty.

I feel someone next to me and whimper in fear.

"Ann, it's me." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

I look around and see I'm in the living room. I must feel asleep in front of the television.

I turn towards Finnick and see he is looking at me worried. "Sorry I woke you, I was tracing the bird." He says and runs his fingers over my tattoo.

I nod.

"It's okay." I say.

"You looked like you were having a nightmare." He smooths my hair. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I whisper but my hands are shaking.

Finnick kisses my cheek.

"I just… I just had a bad dream. A bad memory." I say. Finnick nods.

"What kind of memory?" He asks.

"Finnick those flowers." I say and motion towards the kitchen.

"Yeah." He says confused.

"If you didn't send them, who do you think did?" I ask.

He's about to say something but I just keep talking.

"The delivery man looked familiar Finnick."

"Familiar how?" Finnick asks concerned.

"Someone who worked for your Dad." I say softly.

"Annie we haven't heard from that psycho in years. It could've been from anyone."

"The delivery man was in my nightmare. He was in that house when your Dad took me." I say. I wouldn't forget any of those faces. It was only for men and Finnick's Dad but I'll never forget them. Most of them got sent to prison. I don't know for how long either. Come to think of it I don't remember how long Finnick's Father is supposed to be locked up. I think they are legally obligated to tell me when he gets out.

"Annie everything is okay." He whispers.

I nod a little unsure.

"I just I know I know that man from somewhere." I whisper.

Finnick kisses my cheek.

"I want to get rid of them. The flowers" I say softly.

Finnick nods. Those flowers were obviously expensive but something about them felt invading. They felt evil.

* * *

"Okay I've been waiting all week for this." I say. Finnick is about to take me on the mystery date.

"I know. I just hope I don't let you down." Finnick says.

"You won't even if we're just going out to dinner." I say.

"Well it's not dinner and a movie." He smiles.

"Then what is it?" I ask with a smile.

"Well first of all you're going to need these." Finnick says and hands me ice skates.

"We're going ice skating?" I ask with a smile.

He nods.

"But, not just anywhere." Finnick smiles.

I raise my eyebrows. I think I know where he means.

"We're going into the city so you can ice skate in Central Park."

I look at him with awe. Ever since we moved here I wanted to go ice skating there. Although we don't live in the city because it is less expensive but, it's only a thirty minute drive. After all, the zoo Finnick works at is in the city.

"You remembered." I whisper.

"Of course I did. It's one of those cheesy romance things you want to do." He says.

"You remembered." I whisper again and kiss him.

He smiles.

"It should be fun." I say with a big smile.

"It should." Finnick says.

Finnick drives. Finnick has gotten immensely better at parallel parking since college.

The last time I went ice skating I was probably nineteen and it was at the skating center on college campus.

I almost fall a couple times but Finnick makes sure to steady me. We hold hands as we skate around the park. I'm getting those first date jitters either that or my hand is very cold.

"It's pretty." I whisper looking at the park and skyline. It looks perfect.

"Coming from the person who hates snow and winter in general." Finnick teases.

"That doesn't mean it can't look pretty." I say and he smiles.

"You look pretty." He says and kisses my cheek.

I lean against him.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too."

After awhile we both get cold and decide to get something to eat. We just go to a burger place. They have really good chili cheese fries.

"So, I do okay?" Finnick asks and takes a fry.

I nod.

"Better than okay."

"Excellent." Finnick says and kisses me.

"I don't want to sound like the cliche married couple but we should go out more often."

"We go out all the time Annie." Finnick says. "Or did you mean come to the city more?" He asks.

I shrug.

"Tonight just feels different."

"It's because we haven't really had much fun recently." He says.

"Can you blame us?" I ask.

"No. But it's nice to go out with you Annie, it feels a little like before."

"Like before." I whisper and kiss his cheek.

Finnick drives us home. When we get through the door I kiss him.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you." Finnick smiles and runs his fingers through my hair.

I kiss him again, softly at first, but then it becomes more passionate.

I haven't kissed Finnick like that in awhile. Finnick and I continue to kiss. When I break away my breathing is uneven.

"Let's go somewhere else." I whisper.

We head to the bedroom kissing on the way.

"I love you." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

"I love you too." I whisper and cradle his face.

We start moving together slowly. It's like I can feel all of Finnick coursing though me. I haven't felt this way towards Finnick since we lost Olivia.

I pull him closer.

"I love you." I whimper.

Finnick kisses me as a response. Finnick and I could've been doing this for a few minutes or a few hours. I lost track of all time and awareness while being with him.

When it's over I cuddle up towards Finnick and lean on his chest. His heart is beating quickly. I kiss his chest right where his heart would be.

Finnick smiles and kisses the top of my head. He keeps running his hand up and down my bare back.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says and kisses the top of my head. "I'll always love you."

"I'll always love you too." I whisper.

I hold onto Finnick like a teddy bear. I've never felt so close to him before. Finnick and I are going to be alright. I'm sure of it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

I roll over but don't see Finnick but, I do smell bacon.

I stretch and get out of bed.

"For a second I thought you were going to make me feel like a cheap whore." I tease as I come into the kitchen.

Finnick would have left a note if he did leave the house, he always does.

Finnick rolls his eyes.

"Can I really do that if you're my wife?" He asks with a smile.

Now I roll my eyes.

"Yes you can." I say.

He smirks.

I take a piece of bacon. It's the good maple kind I like. There's something about maple and bacon that tastes great. Hell, it's not that strange I like grilled cheese on a donut and my sister likes eating peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. Sounds gross and disgusting but, it is pretty good. Well I don't like the mayo and peanut butter sandwich, but whatever.

"Not to my wife." He kisses me. He moves the plate of bacon. "You're ruining breakfast by eating that. I was going to sprinkle that on the pancakes."

"Since when are you a chef?" I ask. Finnick can cook but not very well. However, he can manage bacon and pancakes.

I hop on the counter.

"You're not supposed to sit on the counter." He says.

"It's okay when I do it." I say with a smile.

His lips briefly touch mine.

"I love you."

"Love you too." I say and kiss his cheek.

"So thanksgiving?" He asks and flips a pancake.

"An interesting topic change." I say because it seemed to have come from nowhere.

"My Mom called, not just because of thanksgiving-"

"Because she loves you." I say.

"She actually called about Pepper." Finnick says. Pepper is his dog. Well his family dog. She's old. Finnick got Pepper when he was fourteen. Finnick said it was because he moved a lot when he was young so, he always lost his friends. His Mom got him Pepper so he would always have a friend.

It is now obvious why Finnick moved around a lot when he was a kid. It's because his father followed him around. Stalked him. Linda said the last time she thought she saw John was a couple of days after Finnick's twelfth birthday. Finnick never knew any of this. He doesn't even remember when his dad took him for a few days.

"Pepper sick?" I ask.

"She's old." Finnick says. Which I think is a yes, maybe she called Finnick to tell him she's going to put her down. Nothing can live forever.

I nod.

"We should get a dog." Finnick says with a smile.

"No. Besides, pets aren't allowed in our complex." I say.

"We aren't going to live here forever Annie."

I sigh.

"I know but, no Dog. They smell and no matter how many times you potty train them they still pee on your rug." I say.

Finnick takes the pancakes to the table.

"I'm just saying it would be nice and a character builder when we… you know have a kid." Finnick says in an awkward tone.

"Little children and dogs do not go well with one another. Besides, this conversation can wait." I say.

"True." Finnick says. "Breakfast is served." He says with a smile and sets the plates on the table.

It's good. Well it's a pancake but since it isn't gooey in the middle it is fine.

"So back to thanksgiving." He says.

"Aren't we going to your Mom's?" I ask.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay with that." Finnick says and

"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask and take another bite from my pancake.

"Because my whole family will be there. They probably all know by now but-"

"It will be fine." I say softly.

I didn't think about this. About how Finnick's family will react to seeing us. Finnick's family is nice but, I know they all must know about Olivia. His annoying Aunt Sarah sent a condolences card. His Aunt Sarah is a terrible bitter woman as well. Sometimes I wonder how his Mom is so nice when her sister is so awful. Especially since Finnick's Mom married a psycho who physically abused her. Sometimes I wonder if Finnick's Dad just raped her and got her pregnant by accident . There are moments in conversations where it seems true.

"Besides, they're going to talk about us whether we show up or not." I say.

"True." He says and kisses my forehead. "Besides it's not like we could make a turkey."

I smile.

"Yes we could. It would be easier if we had a bigger oven." I say.

Finnick smiles.

"Besides, what would we do with a whole bird?" He says.

I smile.

"Freeze most of it, have it for leftovers." I say and he nods.

"You know Annie, since we won't be living here forever maybe we should consider moving or at least looking for a house."

"Finnick I thought we had this discussion before, I don't want to leave until it's necessary and it's not necessary yet."

"True." Finnick says disappointed.

"We won't t live here forever, I want a 'real' house as well." I say and kiss Finnick's cheek.

* * *

"Hey Finnick." I say softly.

"Yeah?" Finnick asks.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." I whisper.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing." I say but he raises his eyebrows. "Nothing is wrong… I just wanted to discuss something with you." I say.

"You sound so formal." Finnick says worried.

"I…" I clear my throat. "I've been thinking recently-"

"About?" He asks.

"About you and me."

"What about me and you?" He asks worried.

"That everything is better now. We're better."

"Yes we are." He says with a smile. "But then why are you being so serious?" He asks.

"I was thinking we should maybe try to have a baby again." I say in my strange squeaky voice when I'm nervous and excited. "I just really wanted to talk to you because I don't know-"

"Annie calm down." Finnick says and strokes my hair. "It's just… are you sure you want to do this?"

"Finnick, I stopped taking my birth control last month." I say. Finnick has a strange look on his face when I say this. "It's been seven months since Olivia passed away. I know it still hurts but, I'm ready to have a child with you. I still want to have a family with you." I say.

"I still want that too." He says carefully.

"What's wrong?" I ask because something about him seems off.

"Why didn't you tell me you stopped taking your birth control?" He asks.

"I didn't think it was necessary." I say confused.

Finnick sighs something about that bothers him but, I don't understand why. It's not like Finnick and I have sex every day but we still do. We use condoms… most of the time

"Annie, I want to start a family with you but, things are just starting to be normal again between you and me. I can't lose you Annie." He whispers.

"You won't." I kiss his cheek. "I'm here to stay." I say.

"It wasn't so great between you and me Annie." He says softly.

"It was a bad couple of months Finnick. We're okay now."

"I know but, we weren't. If something terrible were to happen again… I don't know what will happen to me and you." He whispers.

"You want to wait longer." I say. I can hear the disappointment in my voice. I didn't think Finnick would want to wait.

"Not that long." He reassures.

"I understand." I whisper and kiss his cheek. I do understand he's worried about us. "Just so you know, Finnick I'll never leave you." I say.

Finnick hugs me.

"I know." He kisses the top of my head. "I love you so much." He whispers.

"I love you so much too." I whisper and kiss him.

* * *

It's been a few months since I suggested to Finnick that we should try and get pregnant again I'm not going to bring it up again. I know Finnick will bring it up when he's ready. I understand where he is coming from. Our relationship was struggling for a few months but we are fine now. If you are in a struggling relationship a baby won't fix anything, maybe Finnick wants to make sure we're okay even though it's been almost nine months.

I know Finnick still wants a child but, I don't know when he will be ready. When we first talked about having a baby we were in the right place but not anymore. I want Finnick and I on the same page so I will wait for as long as Finnick wants. I love him so much.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I told Finnick I was going grocery shopping which isn't really a lie. I will go grocery shopping but there's something I want to do first.

I park the car and start walking towards my destination. I made sure to get flowers. I set them delicately on the ground and then kneel in front of her grave.

Olivia would've been one today. I'm not a big believer in life after death but I wanted to see her because it will ensure I won't forget about her. I know I never will but this makes me feel closer to her. I could've asked Finnick to come with me but I wanted to do this alone.

I can't believe it's been a year already. So much has happened but at the same time nothing has.

* * *

"Annie." Finnick says and helps me unload the groceries. "That took longer than I thought." He says.

I nod.

"I wanted to do something else." I say.

"Me too. I'm actually a little glad. I got to pick up your surprise." He says.

"Surprise?" I ask confused. I wonder if he forgot today is Olivia's birthday.

"Yeah." He says and pulls out something for me. It's a jewelry box.

I look at him confused.

"Just open it." He says softly.

I do and see a shiny golden necklace. It has a heart shaped charm hanging off it. I take it out of the box and notice there is something engraved into the heart.

It reads Olivia Grace and has her birthday.

"I know I didn't have to get something but I thought you might like it." Finnick says softly.

I hug him.

"I'll wear it everyday." I whisper. "I thought you forgot." I say as a tear rolls down my cheek.

"I could never forget this." He says and kisses my cheek to get rid of the tear.

"The reason it took so long grocery shopping was because I wanted to see her. I know I probably should've told you but I wanted to be alone." I whisper.

"That's fine. I wouldn't have wanted to go there anyways. It would be too painful." He whispers.

"When did you have this made?" I whisper and run my fingers over the heart.

"I got the idea a couple months ago. You like it?" He asks.

"Of course I do." I say and kiss his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." He says.

I put the necklace on and smile.

"Annie." Finnick says.

"Yes?" I ask.

"It's been a year since we lost her." Finnick says.

"I know." I say softly.

"I know we had a somewhat tough year." He says and I nod. "I've been thinking about what you said. I've been thinking about it a lot more as Olivia's birthday was coming closer." He says

"About having a baby?" I say.

"Yes." He says.

"And?" I whisper.

"I think we should."

"Have a baby?" I ask and he nods. "Are you sure Finnick?" I ask.

Finnick kisses the top of my head.

"I'm sure. I want to have another baby with you. I just hope this time nothing will go wrong." He says.

"Me too." I kiss him. "So it's official then?" I ask.

"What's official?" He asks.

"That we're officially trying to have a baby."

Finnick smiles.

"Yes." He says and kisses me.

"Good to know." I say and kiss him.

* * *

"You okay?" Finnick asks as he gets ready for work.

I have terrible stomach pains.

"I called off work." I say to Finnick.

"Okay." He says and kisses my forehead. "Do you want me to come home on my lunch break?" Finnick asks.

"I'll be fine." I say.

He kisses my cheek.

"I'll call at least." He says.

"Bye." I say.

"Bye." He says and leaves.

I stay in bed mostly tired. I think I'm just having terrible period cramps. I usually get them a few days before but, it's never been this bad.

Maybe I'm pregnant. I think to myself.

I go to the bathroom and throw up. I take some Advil and a tums.

After my stomach stops hurting I get something to eat, just some soup.

By the time it is noon I feel more like myself.

My stomach hurts a little but, not as bad. I could probably go into work now but, I'm not going to.

I hear my phone go off and see it is Finnick.

"Hey." I say.

"You okay?" He asks.

"I feel better." I say.

"That's good."

"I think so as well." I say.

"Well take it easy still. I'll see you soon." Finnick says.

"I'll see you soon Finnick." I say.

"Bye."

"Bye." I say and hang up.

However, after Finnick came home I started feeling funky again. I almost don't want Finnick to stay in the same bed because I'm worried he will get sick.

When I wake up I don't see Finnick. I get out of bed and see he left a note that says he went to get groceries.

I start to feel terribly dizzy, I go to the bathroom and throw up. I really don't want my weekend to start off by being terribly sick but it's better then missing work.

I open the bathroom cabinet and an avalanche happens.

"Finnick." I mumble. He usually just shoves things in here.

I start to put everything back until a pregnancy test touches my hand.

"It's nothing." I say and try to put it back but I can't. Finnick and I haven't been having much luck. It's been four months of trying and nothing. With Olivia it all happened so quickly. It seemed like Finnick and I talked about having a baby and the next few weeks I was pregnant. Not this time.

I take out one of the tests. I got a three pack because Finnick and I haven't been having luck.

I take the test out and see it needs to wait five minutes.

The front door opens.

"Hey Ann, if you feel well enough can you help me unload the car?" He asks with fresh snow flakes in his hair.

"Just a minute or four." I say. Finnick walks towards me.

"Are you taking a pregnancy test?" Finnick asks worried.

I shrug.

"Annie you're probably just sick." He says and kisses my cheek.

"It doesn't hurt to check." I say.

"Annie, please don't get sad if that says negative." Finnick says gently.

"I won't." I say.

Finnick hugs me. He doesn't believe me. I will feel a little sad but I won't cry or anything.

Finnick lets go of me so I can look at the test.

"What's it say?" Finnick asks. I can tell by his tone of voice he thinks it says no.

I shake my head.

Finnick hugs me and I lean my head against his chest.

I clear my throat.

"That's that then." I say and throw the thing away. Finnick kisses my cheek. Then puts the back of his hand on my forehead.

"You feel hot." Finnick says and kisses my cheek again. "Lie down. I'll get you some tea when I come back up." He says gently.

"Okay." I whisper.

I go back to our bedroom and turn on the television.

After a few hours I'm barfing terribly, have the chills, and keep sweating through the covers. I have the flu and I feel so weak.

"You okay?" Finnick asks coming in to check on me.

"I'm fine." I say but don't really mean it. The Olive Garden commercial just had me puking my guts out.

I shiver when Finnick touches me.

"Did you go outside?" I ask him.

He shakes his head.

"No you're just hot." He says.

I shiver and he gets me another blanket.

"Try and go to sleep sweetie." He says.

"How can when I feel so terrible?" I say.

He kisses the top of my head.

"Just try." He whispers.

I roll over and hug Finnick's pillow to my chest.

The television sound seems to drown everything else out. I just feel a pounding in my head.

"Ugh." I say and throw up into the trash can. "Ugh." I moan again.

Finnick comes in probably worried.

"Ugh." I moan again.

"I'm fine." I say and wave him off. He cleans up the trash so the room won't smell of vomit.

I press my face into the pillow and lean my arm and leg off the edge of the bed.

I haven't been sick like this for awhile.

Finnick comes back and kisses the top of my head.

"Sleep tight Annie." He says.

* * *

I wake up shivering and drenched in sweat. I look towards the clock and see it is four am. I don't see Finnick though. I'm pretty much sprawled all over the bed. I wouldn't want him to sleep in the same bed because I would get him sick.

I start to feel that tongue shrinking feeling in my mouth. I make it to the toilet just in time.

I splash water on my face. My hands are trembling and I'm freezing. I leave the room to get a bottle a water. That's probably why I feel so weak, I might be getting dehydrated.

I see Finnick sleeping on the pull out couch.

I sigh my husband is too good for me.

I take a few sips of the water.

I hear Finnick shuffle in the bed.

"Annie?" I hear Finnick say.

"It's me." I say.

"Why are you up?" He asks worried.

"Don't get out of bed. I was just thirsty." I say.

"Good." He says.

"You didn't have to sleep out here." I say.

"You were kind of all over the bed and you were coughing into my pillow all day." He smiles.

I clear my throat.

"I need to lie back down." I say because I'm starting to feel light headed.

"Do you need anything?" He asks.

"Just some sleep." I say. "I love you Finnick."

"I love you too Annie." He says.

I nod.

* * *

"You feeling better?" Finnick asks in the morning.

"Slightly." I say.

"Do you think you can eat something?"

"Maybe in a few hours." I say.

Finnick nods. He's looking at me as if he's examining me.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about yesterday."

"What about?" I ask.

"When you were taking that test."

I sigh and pull the covers over my head. I don't want to think about that right now. How I'm not pregnant... again.

"You looked sad." He says worried.

"I am sad." I whisper. "It wasn't like this last time." I say.

"Annie it's not like making a cake. It won't always have the same results. In our case I think that's a good thing." He says.

I take the covers off my face.

"I guess." I whisper.

"I love you." He says and kisses my cheek. "You should get some sleep."

"Okay." I whisper.

Finnick smiles.

"I love you too."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hi friends! Sorry it's been awhile but I've had lots of papers and tests the past few weeks and I've been picking up a few extra shifts at work. I'll try and go back to posting regularly!**

 **Here's the next chapter hope you enjoy!**

 **Chapter Eleven.**

"How was your weekend?" Christina asks as I walk into the office. Which I find odd she doesn't usually have personal conversations with me.

"It was okay… I spent most of mine throwing up." I say.

"There is something going around." She says.

"Well I hope you don't catch it." I say.

She smiles halfheartedly.

"Did you do anything fun this weekend?" I ask.

"Not really, although John and I went into the city for the day."

"John that's your boyfriend, right?" I ask. I remember Gregg saying she had a boyfriend and I think that was his name.

She smiles and nods.

"Yes and we never go into the city." She smiles.

"Finnick and I don't go that much either." I say.

She clears her throat as if I've somehow offend her. She usually does this when I get more personal. She doesn't like when I talk about Finnick.

"Well there's that." She smiles and reaches for sticky pads. "Messages for you." She says.

"I just got here and I have messages already?" I don't know why I sound surprised it happens more often than not, but that usually only happens when a book is about to come out.

She shrugs.

"They said they wanted a Mrs. Odair."

I nod.

"Thanks." I say and head to my office.

I look at the messages, a couple are sales reps and others are just old clients with basic questions Christina should've been able to answer.

I can tell most of my day will be filling out paper work. I didn't feel the best on Friday so I mostly sat at my desk and made mental notes on things to do. I was going to make up for it on the weekend but then I got sick and felt sad.

I still feel sad. Although it's kind of worse because I know Finnick can tell. He can tell I'm sad because I'm not pregnant.

I sigh and go back to work. I end up leaving early because there was a small fire because all the wiring got messed up. I end up finishing my day at home.

"Hey." Finnick says and kisses me on the cheek as he walks inside.

"Hi."

"How was work?" He asks.

"Interesting their was a fire so I got to come home early." I say and Finnick nods.

"Fire?" Finnick says worried.

"It was small, it had to do with wires or something." I say.

"Well that building isn't exactly new." Finnick says with a smile.

"I know." I say and start playing with the necklace Finnick gave me that honors our daughter. "The fire department was looking over things. Gregg suggested that the office should move."

"Move? Where?" Finnick asks worried and intrigued.

"The city, but nothing was officially decided." I say.

Finnick and I might move depending on where the company goes it if it moves at all. Finnick and I have discussed this before. Finnick wanted to move when I was pregnant but I didn't want to. If the company moves, it would make more sense for Finnick and I to find a bigger apartment or even a house to live in. We shouldn't live in an apartment for the rest of our lives.

Finnick nods.

"Will you want to move then?" He asks.

"Maybe." I say. "We can figure it out later."

"Possibly. I've wanted to move for awhile." He smiles.

"I know." I say.

Finnick goes to the kitchen and picks up the pile of mail.

"Oh did you see this?" Finnick says searching through the mail.

"What?" I ask thinking he is going to pull out some listings for houses.

Finnick has always been secretive when it comes to things like this.

It isn't listings though. I smile when I see what it is.

"They finally set a date then?" I ask looking at Katniss and Peeta's wedding invitation. They've been dating on and off since college. Finnick and I knew when they got engaged. They have been for over a year.

"I have now." I say.

"Yeah in a couple of months they will be old and married like us." Finnick smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"Yes, I guess." I say.

* * *

 _Ring. Ring. Ring._

I answer my phone quickly.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hello, Annie did you get yours yet?" Johanna asks.

"The wedding invite?" I ask.

"I'll take that as a yes." She says

"Well was that a rhetorical question? You know Finnick is a groomsman." I say.

"I guess. I wonder if I'll walk with him down the aisle." She teases.

"If you're the maid of honor then it will probably be one of Peeta's brothers." I say.

"True. People getting married and having babies makes me feel old." She says. I can tell she is kidding. Johanna isn't the biggest believer in marriage. She never will get married, she doesn't understand why you would want to latch yourself to someone forever.

"I guess. I don't really feel old." I say.

"Yeah well you're different." She says.

"Thanks." I say sarcastically.

"You know there might not even be a wedding. Katniss keeps changing her mind." Johanna adds.

"I've heard whispers but, she loves Peeta." I say confused.

"Sometimes she's not so sure she wants to get married." Johanna says softly.

"I wonder why that is." I say.

Johanna sighs.

"I'm not convincing her." Johanna defends. "It's also the whole she doesn't want to have kids thing. Peeta wants kids. He just loves Katniss too much to say anything." Johanna says.

"Peeta loves Katniss so much that he'll do anything for her." I say.

"Well it's not the whole kid thing. Her sister did just die in a fiery car crash." She says.

I read about it in the paper. There was a three way car crash. Prim ,her sister, and another driver died. Prim's car caught fire and due to the gas it blew up. The only person who lived was a woman named Alma Coin. She was older than Prim and the other driver. Katniss was depressed and furious for so long. The accident happened last year. If Katniss does call off the wedding, a part of me doesn't blame her. She doesn't feel ready. I know that feeling.

"You can't really blame her for that." I say.

"Yeah but Peeta would probably be devastated. Especially since Katniss has broken up with him before."

I sigh.

"It wasn't like you and Finnick she's done it before." Johanna says.

"Maybe." I say.

"Speaking of you and Finnick, how are you?" She asks.

"We're fine, we are going apple picking this weekend." I say.

"Is that a married couple thing?" She asks.

"No it's a… it's a thing we do every year."

I like picking the apples and making pie or caramel apples or just eating a nice apple. Finnick and I have been doing this for as long as I can remember.

"You're both very cute and very boring at the same time." She says.

"Thanks." I say dryly.

"You sound so offended." She teases.

"Finnick and I also might be moving." I say.

"Why?" She asks. "Are you pregnant? Is that why you're getting a new place?" Johanna says. I can hear happiness in her voice.

"No. My bosses want to leave the current location because the building is older. They're also hiring more people." I say.

"Where would you move?" She asks.

"Just into the city or just right outside of it. I do want to live in a house eventually."

"You will." She says.

"I know or I hope I will." I say.

* * *

I have to go into work early today. Gregg and Conner called an early mandatory staff meeting. The last time they did one of these was when the company almost went under.

I can make an educated guess on what this is about. Gregg told me yesterday that they will be moving the location of the company. They already hired a realtor to look for the perfect and affordable place. They talked it over with me. I was fine with it. Howerver, it doesn't really matter what I think because they own the company and they get to chose what to do.

I could always find a new job but, I love the one I have now. Besides I would have to start at entry level and I've been with this company from the ground up.

I kiss Finnick's forehead before I leave. Even though he's still sleeping I want to believe he can still feel my love.

"I love you." I whisper and soon leave the apartment.

"Annie." Gregg says as I get into the office.

"I'm not late-"

"No, no we just wanted to make some decisions."

"You're not firing me are you?" I ask worried.

"No of course not Annie, you're the best." He says and I smile.

"As Conner and I said yesterday we will be moving the company. But because of certain aspects some things will be changing."

"Like?" I ask.

"The staff is growing and we may have to make some pay cuts."

"You're not firing me though." I say.

"No but almost everyone is going to be getting a small pay decrease." He says.

"That's all?" I say.

He nods.

"How little are we talking?" I ask as Conner walks into the room.

"Probably five percent. For everyone, including Gregg and myself." Conner says.

"So why are you just telling me this?" I ask.

"We're telling everyone just in different times in case they wish to make other arrangements." Conner says.

"I see." I say softly. "Well I don't plan on leaving any time soon." I say. "And I'm willing to move."

"We know you're dedicated. We just wanted to let you know everything. In case you make a big decision and find out you're going to be paid less." Conner says.

I nod.

"This is all for now until we notify the rest of the staff." Gregg says with a smile.

I nod and head to my office. The rest of the day is more of a blur. I can tell some people are going to quit. I'm starting to think the 'original' staff got a smaller pay cut than the rest. It isn't fair but, you can never make everyone happy. Gregg and Conner must have expected this as well.

I pack up my stuff to leave and I see Christina in the front office.

"Crazy day right?" She asks.

I nod.

"Yeah." I say.

"So are you going to stay?" She asks.

"Yes. I love it here." I say.

"Yeah well so do I, but I also want to be able to pay my rent."

"So you're quitting?" I ask.

"Well I could get a receptionist job anywhere but, I do like this place. I could always get a second job or a roommate." She says.

"Couldn't you live with John?" I ask.

"Living with someone you need to pay rent with is weird unless you are married. I need this job though." She says and looks at me strangely. "Do you think Finnick will be okay with it, if you move?" She asks.

"Finnick has wanted to move for awhile." I say.

"That's nice." She says and smiles strangely.

I nod

"Goodnight Christina." I say in a strange tone and leave.

There's something about that girl that is creepily familiar.

"Hello Annie." Finnick says as I walk in the house.

"Hey."

"So is the company moving?" He asks.

"Yeah. They're also giving out pay cuts." Finnick raises his eyebrows concerned. "It was only a little hit. We'll be okay." I say.

Finnick nods.

"So if we move I think we should get a house." He says. I shouldn't be surprised he is just diving right into this conversation.

"A house? Finnick-"

"We'll need a bigger place to live eventually. Especially when we have a kid." Finnick says.

I nod.

"I guess. We can talk about it later." I say softly.

"I know. I just don't want us to get a smaller place to live in when we might just need to move again."

"I know." I say.

"What's wrong? You sound weird." He says concerned.

"That's not a nice thing to say." I say.

"Ann what's wrong?"

"I think we should just wait to look for a good house that has to do with kids because we don't have one." I say.

"But we will Annie." He says and kisses my cheek.

I nod.

"I hope so." I whisper and hug him.

He kisses the top of my head.

"Is anyone leaving that you hate?" He asks changing the subject. He knows it's upsetting me.

"To soon to tell but Christina is dead set on staying even though she might need to get a second job." I say.

"Well she wants something to do with publishing right?"

"I guess but, I got a weird feeling that she was staying for another reason." I say.

"Why else would she stay?" He asks.

"I dunno. She apparently likes older men maybe she wants to go after Conner. Even though she has a boyfriend." I say.

"Who knew you could be somewhat cynical." He says with a smile.

"There's just something about her." I say.

"It's because she doesn't like you." Finnick kisses my cheek. "And most people do." He smiles.

"I don't think I have that much of an ego Finnick Odair."

He shrugs.

"It could explain it."

I roll my eyes.

"Of course it could." I say sarcastically.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

"You know I hate moving, right?" I ask Finnick as I open a box.

"Yes I have been told." He smiles.

"I believe you have said it every single time we move." He says and kisses my cheek.

Finnick and I found a nice place. It's actually a house. It's nothing special but it's ours. It has three bedrooms and a nice kitchen. Finnick and I took awhile to pick the perfect one that we both loved but it was worth it.

Buying a house is the thing that made me feel like an adult. It's the most expensive thing a person will ever buy. I want to spend the majority of my life here.

"It's not just the packing though. It's the unpacking and figuring out where to place everything." I say as I haul out kitchen appliances. "We never did figure out what to put in this room." I say and motion to the room across from the family room.

"The people before us used it as a dining room." Finnick says as he puts dishes in the cabinets.

I shrug.

"I guess. We just don't have lots of parties or guests." I say.

"We can." He says and looks around. "As much fun as unpacking the kitchen is, I think setting up the bed frame is more important." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"Why? Because keeping a mattress on the floor is white trash?" I tease.

"Well… kinda." He says and heads upstairs.

* * *

"This place is nice." Johanna says.

"Finnick and I think so as well." I say.

We've lived in the house for almost a month and still haven't unpacked everything yet. I guess you don't realize how much crap you have until you pack it all up.

Work has been busier as well. With people leaving and getting hired it has been a bit chaotic. Most days I come home just wanting to go to sleep. I think it's the move as well. I haven't figured out my whole routine yet. I still don't know the fastest way to work but, I don't think I would get fired for showing up a few minutes late.

Johanna nods.

"This was my grown up moment." I say.

Johanna snorts.

"Well, everyone does have one." She says.

"It's probably going to be the most expensive thing Finnick and I will buy." I say.

"I'm curious as to what the other bedrooms look like. I mean you and Finnick only have your bed."

"No we had a guest room at the old place." I say.

"And the third bedroom?" She asks.

"Finnick thinks it should be a nursery." I say softly.

"Well that would be something ideal." She says.

"It would be but, there's no baby." I say.

"There will be."

"I guess. It's just...things in that area haven't been going well so-"

"You gave up." Johanna says.

"No, I just stopped caring as much. If you don't have such high expectations you won't get as hurt." I say softly

"Does-"

"Finnick knows. Even though he hasn't said anything, he knows." I say. I know they say communication is the best thing for a relationship but sometimes saying nothing is better.

I massage my temples. This subject is starting to give me a headache.

"You okay?" She asks.

"I'm just getting a headache." I say.

"Finnick said you've been having lots of those lately."

"It's just the move."

"And you're tired." Johanna adds.

"I'm not depressed if this is where you're going."

"I know you're not depressed. I'm just saying, maybe you're pregnant."

"I'm not." I say. "It's just a headache and sometimes I'm drowsy."

Johanna looks at me strangely.

"Every time you got sick you thought you were pregnant."

Not anymore. I think to myself

I sigh.

"Let me make you the dinner I promised. You will be the first guest to eat here. Consider it an honor." I say and she snorts.

* * *

Johanna spent the night. She was only in town for a few days, it was nice to see her and show someone our new house.

"You okay?" Finnick asks at breakfast.

"Yeah, I just have this headache." I say. "I've been getting lots of headaches recently."

"You have been stressed with work and moving." Finnick says.

I nod.

"Yeah." I say.

Finnick can tell something else is bothering me but he doesn't ask.

"I need to go to the store so I can fix the wire on the back of the clock." Finnick says.

The wire snapped causing the clock to fall to the floor yesterday. Thankfully the clock didn't break because it was a wedding present.

I nod.

"Please just don't hurt yourself. You weren't the best when putting up the pictures." I say with a smile. He almost put a nail through his hand. Finnick really shouldn't be allowed to handle any tools.

"Don't worry." He kisses my cheek. "I won't. Besides, we got 911 on speed dial." He teases.

I roll my eyes.

After Finnick leaves I clean the dishes and head to the shower.

I can't stop thinking about Johanna's comment last night, about how I might be pregnant.

I think I would've noticed but, I've basically been denying myself of thinking I can get pregnant. I've gotten upset too many times to think I am.

I open the bathroom cabinet and see the pregnancy and ovulation test kits.

I take a pregnancy test kit out. If I just take it Johanna's voice will be out of my head. I won't have to keep thinking I'm pregnant.

I place the test on the counter and take a shower. I know by the time the shower is up the test will be finished.

While Finnick's at the store I start doing laundry. I love that we have our own washer and dryer now. No more going to the laundromat.

While folding laundry I start to feel hazy so I take a brake and lie down on the couch.

It will only be for a few minutes. I think to myself.

When I wake up on the couch I see it has been an hour. I turn my head and see Finnick sitting across from me.

"Annie?" He smiles.

"Sorry fell asleep, thanks for not fixing the clock." I say knowing he would be making a decent amount of noise if he tried.

He's still smiling.

"Why are you smiling at me like an idiot?" I ask still drowsy.

"Weren't you going to tell me?" He asks and walks towards me.

"Tell you what?" I ask through a yawn.

"That you're pregnant." He says.

I sit up slowly. I can feel the static from the couch stick with my hair.

"What?" I ask.

"You left the test on the bathroom counter." He says and kisses me.

"I didn't look at it." I say.

"Why not?" He asks.

"I knew it would say no." I say softly.

"It didn't say no. It said yes, maybe that's why you're tired all the time." Finnick says excited

"Is this really happening then?" I ask slightly happy. I'm still in deep doubts.

"Yes." He kisses me. "We're going to have a baby." He says.

"Is it ironic that you're telling me this?" I say.

Finnick kisses the top of my head.

"No. It's better." He says and kisses me while my hands rest on my lower abdomen.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Finnick and I haven't told anyone I am pregnant yet. We want to keep it to ourselves a little awhile longer. Especially if something goes wrong. I don't want anything to happen but I'm trying to be realistic. What happened to Olivia could happen again.

"Hey." Finnick says and kisses me briefly.

"Hi." I say and lean my head on his shoulder.

"How do you feel today?" He asks and kisses the top of my head.

"Okay." I say. I've been having terrible morning sickness. It's not as bad as it was with Olivia but it's still not fun.

"Are you still going to paint this weekend?" I ask.

Finnick and I have finished most of the moving in process but Finnick still wants to paint some of the rooms.

"No. The paint fumes might not be good for you." He says.

I roll my eyes.

"Finnick it will be fine. We picked out colors for most of the rooms anyways." I say. "You don't need to worry."

"I know I don't need to." He smiles. "But that doesn't mean I won't."

"Are we going to be extremely worried the whole time?" I ask.

"No. We'll be the normal amount of worried."

"I don't think that will be true for me." I whisper. I know I will be worried about every throw up, every pain, and every movement.

"Ann, you can't control everything. Don't worry the whole time it's supposed to be a happy time." He says.

"I would be but something bad happened." I say.

"Ann, stop thinking the world is going to end. You're not that cynical." He kisses my forehead.

I nod.

"I'll try." I whisper.

"That's good enough for me." He say.

"So thanksgiving is this weekend." I say.

"I know." He says.

"Are we going to go anywhere?" I ask.

"Do you want to see your Mom?" Finnick asks. We usually go to his Mom's house but his Mom won't be in town this year.

"I think so." I say.

"Call her up then. She won't say no to you." Finnick says.

"I know." I say.

I hear my computer go off.

I walk over towards it and see Carter is calling me. I answer the call but don't see Carter.

"Aunt Annie!" I hear and see my four year old niece smiling.

After Tony and Carter got married they were lucky enough to adopt a little girl. They named her Madeline. She's four and very adorable.

"Hi cutie." I say and she smiles.

"Aunt Annie are you coming for thanksgiving?" She asks.

"That's why we called her." Carter says and kisses her cheek. "Go play." He says.

"Okay Papa." She says and runs off.

"Hi Carter." I say.

"Annie." He smiles. "So are you going to be here for thanksgiving?" He asks.

"Finnick and I were just discussing that actually." Finnick looks towards me and smiles.

"And?" He asks.

"We'll be there, I was going to call Mom later today." I say.

"Thought so. So how's the new house?" He asks.

"It's nice. Finnick and I finally agreed on the right paint colors." I say with a smile.

"That's good, how long did that take?" He asks with a smirk.

"Not that long. Finnick always caves." I say with a smile. I can hear Finnick snort in the family room.

"I'm sure he does." Carter says sarcastically.

In the background I can see Madeline playing with their cat, mittens.

"Ella coming?" I ask.

"For the most part. She will spend some of the day with Dad."

I sigh.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because she wants to." He says.

"Are you going to see him as well?" He asks.

"Probably not." I say.

I don't remember the last time I saw my Father, it's been years. He sent Finnick and I a card for Olivia. I didn't call him back or anything.

I never thought I would have a stereotypical Father daughter feud but, here we are.

"He asks about you Annie." Carter says.

"Well tell him I'm fine." I say angrily.

"Don't get all hostile." He says.

"I wasn't." I defend.

He smiles.

"I know. I'll see you in a few days Annie." He says.

"Bye Aunt Annie!" I hear Madeline say in the background and see her wave.

I wave back at her.

"Bye." I say.

"Bye Annie." He says and logs off.

I nod.

"Everything okay?" Finnick asks.

I nod.

"Yeah."

"Good. So we leaving tomorrow then?" He asks with a smile.

"Probably." I say.

* * *

Finnick and I decided to fly to my Mom's instead of drive almost ten hours.

"Ann." Finnick says and shakes my shoulder gently.

"What?" I ask and lift my face from his shoulder.

"Buckle up, it's almost time to land." He says and kisses my forehead.

"Okay." I say.

The flight isn't very long but, I still managed to find time to sleep. I'm not the biggest fan of flying but driving this long whilst being pregnant wouldn't be that great.

Once we get into the airport I pull out my phone to call Ella. Ella said she would pick us up.

 _Ring. Ring. Ring._

"You here?" Ella asks.

"Yes." I say.

"Alright. See you and Finnick soon sweet cheeks." She says.

I smile and shake my head as I hang up.

"Everything alright?" He asks.

"Yeah." I say.

We get into her car and she heads off to our Mom's house. It's a two hour drive and forty minutes in I feel like I'm going to vomit.

"You alright there Annie?" Ella asks when I lean my head on the window. The coolness of the glass makes my head feel better.

"Just nauseous." I say.

"You should sit up front… I can move-"

"It's fine Ella." I say. I don't need her to pull over and move her stuff around.

She nods.

When we do make it to our Mom's I go to the bathroom and vomit.

I splash water on my face before I go back out to see my Mom.

"Annie." She says and hugs me.

"Hi Mom." I say.

She kisses the top of my head.

"Everyone's in there." She says and motions towards the living area.

"Hi Finnick." She smiles before leaving.

"You okay?" Finnick asks.

I nod.

"Just got a little sick." I say but he raises his eyebrows. "It's nothing." I say.

"Okay." He says and kisses my cheek.

When we make it to the small living room I see Carter, Tony, Madeline, and Ella.

"Aunt Annie." Madeline says running towards me. Her long dark curls are bouncing back and forth. "Uncle Finnick!" She says. Finnick picks her up and kisses her on the cheek.

"Hi Madeline." We both say. Finnick takes her back to the living room and places her next to her doll.

"Who's this?" Finnick asks her.

"That's Bells Uncle Finnick." She says and picks up her doll. "She's my best friend. She also makes the best tea for my tea parties."

"Oh really?" Finnick asks and Madeline nods. "Maybe I could go to one of your tea parties to see." Finnick says.

Madeline smiles.

"Sorry Uncle Finnick but no boys allowed." She says and giggles.

"Oh I see." He says.

"Okay you stayed up for Uncle Finnick and Aunt Annie now you need to go to bed sweetie." Carter says.

"Papa they just got here." She whines.

"They'll be here for the next few days." Tony says.

"But Daddy-"

"We'll be here in the morning princess." I tell her.

"Okay." She says softly. "But I want Papa to read me a story." She says.

"Okay." Carter says.

Tony and Carter get Madeline ready to leave for the hotel. Finnick and I got told we could stay here.

"I should probably go too." Ella says soon after they left.

"Where are you staying?" I ask. There is another spare room.

"With Dad. Mimi and Pop Pop are there as well." She says.

I nod.

"How is Pop Pop?" I ask. Him I actually like and I known he's sick.

"He's fine Annie. Don't worry." She says and stands up. "See you guys tomorrow." Ella hugs our Mom and then leaves.

Finnick and I stay up awhile to do pre-thanksgiving preparations.

Everything is good with her. She shares some stories about the students in her class.

"Goodnight." She says after the kitchen is clean.

"Night Mom." I say and hug her.

"Night Jenna." Finnick says.

We turn in soon after her.

"You feel okay?" Finnick asks as I lie down.

"I'm fine. I only vomited once. It could have been from the car ride." I say.

Finnick nods.

"Remember we said we weren't going to worry about every little thing." I say.

He nods.

"I know." He kisses me and lays down. "Do you want to see your Pop Pop?" Finnick asks.

"Yes but, I can't. Mimi and Dad."

"Annie-"

"Leave it alone Finnick." I whisper.

"Okay." He says and kisses me. Finnick knows better than to argue when it comes to stuff like this.

He knows I won't back down,

"Okay." I whisper back.

* * *

When I wake up the house smells like thanksgiving. I roll over and see Finnick is gone. He must have started to help my Mom.

I see Carter and Tony are here. Madeline is at the table coloring.

"Aunt Annie." She says and waves me over.

"Hi sweetie." I say and sit next to her.

"Color with me." She says and hands me some crayons.

"Okay." I say and start coloring. I notice it is a Frozen coloring book. "Do you like Elsa or Ana better?" I ask.

"I like Elsa because she can make snow." She smiles.

"I like Sven." I say.

"He likes carrots." She giggles and goes back to coloring. "Daddy likes Olaf the best." She smiles.

"Love is worth melting for." I say and she nods. "What about Papa?" I ask.

Carter and Tony decided that Carter would be Papa and Tony would be Daddy. They didn't want her to use their first names for some reason. You can still tell them a part.

"Papa likes Kristoff." She smiles

Finnick comes in and hands me a muffin and some milk.

"Thanks." I say.

He nods.

When dinner is almost ready I notice Ella isn't here.

"Where's Ella?" I ask to the room.

"With Dad. She's going to have two thanksgiving dinners." Carter says while braiding Madeline's hair.

"She'll be here for dinner." Mom says.

"Oh." I say.

Before she comes we do a tradition where you pick names out of a hat and the person has to say what they're thankful for.

"Here, I got it Mom." Carter says and takes the bottle of champagne from her.

"Thanks." She says. We always have champagne with thanksgiving dinner, although this year I won't.

Carter starts to fill up the glasses.

"None for me Carter." I say.

"What do you want then?" Ella asks looking at me strangely.

"Water is fine." I say.

She eyes me strangely but doesn't say anything.

Madeline falls asleep shortly after dinner.

"I'll be right back." I say and head upstairs. There's only one bathroom downstairs and it is currently occupied.

I notice Ella is following me.

"What's up Annie?" Ella asks as she chases me upstairs.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Nauseous, tired, and no champagne for dinner." Ella says like a question.

"What about it?" I say unamused.

"Last time you were all these things-"

"I'm just tired and didn't want anything to drink. I'm not the biggest drinker anyways." I say but avoid her gaze. She will be able to tell I'm lying.

"Right." Ella says skeptically. "I wouldn't think anything of it if you weren't trying-"

"Ella just drop it, okay?" I say. I don't want her to ask if I'm pregnant. She knows I'm not a good liar and I don't want to tell anyone.

"Somebody's pregnant." She sings like a taunting child.

"You sound like Madeline." I say and she rolls her eyes.

"Not exactly helping your case." She says.

"Ella!" I hear Carter shout from downstairs. We head downstairs.

"You ready?" He asks and she nods.

"Ready for what?" I ask.

"We're going to see Dad." Ella says softly.

"Again?" I say.

"He hasn't seen Madeline. You can come." Carter says gently.

"No, Finnick and I can help Mom clean up." I say.

Ella smiles half heartedly.

"Bye." They say and leave.

"You can stay there sweetie. You look tired. Finnick is help enough." My Mom says as I start to get up from the couch.

"Okay." I say confused.

After they're finished she goes to bed while Finnick and I stay up a little later to catch some of the Pumkin' Chunkin'.

"Such rednecks good at complicated science." I say and Finnick smiles.

I feel a light shaking.

"Ann, I think you should go to sleep." Finnick says.

I notice it has been an hour. I must have dozed off.

I nod.

Finnick goes with me.

"That was a nice thanksgiving." Finnick says.

"Yeah." I say.

"No drama like the past few at mine." Finnick says.

I smirk. There hasn't really been any drama at his house, well not anything serious.

"Maybe we should think about changing thanksgiving here and Christmas-"

"Do you think my Mom knows?" I ask Finnick and he furrows his brow.

"Who? About what?" He asks confused.

"My Mom; that I'm pregnant." I say.

"Why would your Mom know?" He asks.

"She gave me this look after dinner and…she didn't want me to clean up." I say.

"You did look tired and comfortable." Finnick says.

"She didn't want me to do anything when I told her I was pregnant with Olivia." I say.

"I think you're just a little paranoid."

I sigh.

"Maybe it's just a Mom thing to know." Finnick says.

"Ella asked me about it too." I say.

"Do you want to tell them then?" He asks. "I mean if you think they know already-"

"No." I say softly and move my hand to my stomach. "No not yet. It becomes real to everyone then."

"Whatever you want Annie." He says and places his hand on top of mine. "But correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem afraid to tell." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"That's not it." I say.

"Okay." He says gently.

"Just me and you, until the next doctors appointment and they tell us everything is okay." I say softly.

"Okay. Okay." He says and kisses me.

"Okay." I say and rest my head on his chest. "I love you."

"I love you too." He says and kisses my forehead. "And you." He whispers and rubs my stomach gingerly.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

The chilly air nips at my face. I hate the cold and winter. I wish I brought my scarf. I didn't think the wind would be so harsh. The walk into the doctors office isn't even that far.

I shiver as I sign in.

"You okay?" Finnick asks and wraps his arm around me.

"I'm just cold." I say.

He kisses my forehead.

"You'll get warm soon." He says.

"Doctor's offices are usually freezing anyways." I say.

"That's usually true." He says. "But we won't be here long and we can get hot chocolate after."

"Are you bribing me with hot chocolate so I'll be good?" I ask.

"Perhaps." He smiles.

"Will we be doing that with them." I say and rub my stomach. We are here for my doctors appointment.

"I think every parent does. I mean, look at some of those messed up fairy tales." He says

"You mean Grimm fairy tales?" I ask.

"Yeah." He says.

"I like the Disney versions better. No one cuts off their feet, no one gets raped, and there's no cannibalism."

"Not all Grimm tales are that bad." He says.

"They are interesting though." I say.

He nods and reaches for an old magazine.

"Annie Odair!" A nurse shouts shortly and we stand up. I get weighted, measured, and blood pressure checked before they take me to the room. "Your doctor will be right in." She smiles and leaves.

"So after this do you want to tell people you're pregnant?" Finnick asks. I'm in that phase of the pregnancy where I'm starting to show a little. It looks like I've just gained a little weight. No one would be able to tell I'm pregnant unless I told them.

"If they say everything is okay." I say.

Finnick nods.

The door opens ten minutes later.

"Annie, Finnick." The doctor says. It's the same doctor I had when I was carrying Olivia. We both liked her and she already knows everything that has happened.

"Hi." I say.

"How are you feeling today?" She asks smiling.

"Fine. A little tired." I say.

"That's perfectly normal." She says. I nod. "Any nausea?" She asks.

I nod.

"A lot recently." I say.

She nods.

"That's normal, right?" I ask. I know it is but still.

"Yes." She smiles kindly.

I nod.

"Lie back." She says and starts to get the ultrasound machine ready. She puts the gel on my lower abdomen.

I close my eyes when it touches me. It's cold and so are her hands.

I smile when I hear our baby's heartbeat.

"And there's your baby." She says and points to the screen. She presses a button so it can freeze the image.

Finnick and I lean in to get a better view.

"There you are." I whisper and touch the screen. I can still hear their heartbeat.

A tear falls from my eye.

"I'll give you and Finnick a minute." She says.

"Do you see them?" I ask him.

He kisses the top of my head.

"I see them." He says with a smile.

I turn towards Finnick and kiss him.

"A new life is growing." I whisper.

Finnick kisses my forehead. The doctor comes back in shortly.

"Do you have any questions?" She asks at the end of the appointment.

"Should I make more doctors appointments because of what happened last time." I say softly.

"Right now everything with you and the baby is perfectly healthy." She says.

"I know but, that's what you said last time." I say.

"We can watch you more carefully Annie if you wish." She says.

I nod.

"I would like that." I whisper.

"They'll take care of you at check out then." She smiles and leaves.

"Annie." Finnick says while we wait in the check out area.

"Yeah?" I say.

"Remember how we talked about not worrying about every little thing." Finnick says gently.

"I do." I say and place my hand on my stomach. "But this way… it will make me feel better."

"We could go here everyday Annie but that is no guarantee."

I sigh.

"I know but it will make me feel better Finnick."

He nods.

"We'll do whatever you want then." He says and kisses me.

* * *

"You're sure you're alright with this?" Finnick asks as he sets the table.

We are having a house warming party. We invited our friends and some coworkers. It will be nice to show off our house, especially since it is almost done. Finnick and I just need to figure out what color to paint the nursery.

I think this time I want to know if it will be a boy or girl. I haven't discussed that with Finnick yet. I doubt he will care. He's just too joyous of everything.

We finally got around to telling everyone that I'm pregnant. They all said congratulations but I got a weird feeling in my stomach when I told them. I don't know why.

"It'd be a little late if I wasn't after all the cooking you did." I say.

"More like Peeta did." Finnick smiles.

Peeta and Katniss are in town currently. They wanted to look at stuff for their wedding. They wanted to see our house. When Peeta found out we were having a house warming party he wanted to help. Finnick and I didn't realize he was going to make dinner for all of our guests. We didn't invite a lot of people but it is still a task.

"He's such a good friend." I say.

"I agree." Peeta says with a smile as he walks through the front door. He's holding a carrier with take out cups.

"You bought coffee?" I say surprised. Katniss and Peeta are staying at a hotel near by.

He nods.

"I made sure to make yours a decaf because of well… you know." He says.

I smile.

"Thanks Peeta." I say.

"You still like vanilla with skim?" He asks.

"Yes." I say and take the cup he's holding out.

He gives Finnick his hazelnut coffee.

"Where's Katniss?" I ask because I don't see her.

"Still sleeping." He says and takes his coffee. If his taste hasn't changed he should be drinking black coffee. "She should be here soon."

"I thought Katniss didn't like coffee." I say.

"She doesn't, it's peppermint tea." He says.

I nod.

"You didn't need to buy coffee." I say again.

"Or make dinner." Finnick adds and picks up a cookie.

"That's not breakfast Finnick." I say.

"And donuts are?" He smiles. "Or chocolate chip muffins with frosting."

I roll my eyes.

"It's splitting hairs." He smiles.

"He's got a point Annie." Peeta defends.

I sit down and drink my coffee while eating a muffin.

"When do you expect people?" Peeta asks.

"Around five." I say.

"Good." He says.

There's a knock at the door.

"That's probably Katniss." Peeta says and goes to get the door.

"Does it feel wrong to you that Peeta is being so helpful?" I say to Finnick softly.

"That's who Peeta is. He likes to help out." Finnick says. I know he's right too. "How are you feeling today?" He asks.

"I feel good." I say and kiss him.

"That's good." He says.

"Hi Katniss." I say as she walks into the kitchen. She looks tired.

"Annie, Finnick." She smiles. "You guys do have a nice place." She says.

"I like it too. I like having a yard and everything." I say.

Katniss nods.

"Maybe one day Peeta and I will have that too." She says and sits next to me.

"I think Peeta and I should get some things ready." Finnick says.

"It's only nine in the morning." I say.

"There is a lot to do." Peeta says.

They probably want me to talk to Katniss alone.

They leave and head to the stove area.

"How's the wedding planning going?" I ask.

She shrugs.

"Not sure really. We set a date and everything but, I'm not sure what I really want. I'm not that kind of girl. Flowers, dresses, and lace." She says and smiles.

"I wasn't that interested either. My sister was though." I say.

Katniss looks at me with anger and saddness.

"I'm sorry… I didn't-"

"My sister was good at that stuff too." She clears her throat. "But she's dead now and she isn't going to come back. She would want to see this more than my Mother."

I nod unsure what to say.

"I know you won't be like that." She smiles. "You and Finnick deserve it." She says.

I smile halfheartedly.

"Thanks." I whisper.

Katniss takes my hand.

"And I'm sure everything will be alright."

"I hope so." I whisper.

Katniss smiles.

I get ready for the day and it seems like people start arriving shortly.

"Do I look okay?" I ask Finnick.

"You look fine Annie. This isn't a formal event besides, it's our house and our party." He says and kisses my forehead.

I nod.

The doorbells starts ringing. Peeta and Finnick start putting the finishing touches on the food.

Finnick and I show people the house. It gets a little tedious after awhile because everyone asks the same questions.

I hear a knock and open the door.

"Christina." I say surprised. I invited the whole office mostly so it won't be awkward later but I never thought Christina would come. I always thought she hated me.

Christina nods and looks around.

"Can I see upstairs?" She asks.

"Yeah, sure." I say not a lot of people have asked this but, Finnick and I still showed them.

She looks around and stops in front of a doorway. The room that will be the nursery.

"What's this one going to be?" She asks. There isn't really anything in the room yet. We haven't really unpacked the old baby stuff yet. We didn't have that much but, we have a crib and a diaper changing table.

"The nursery for our baby." I say.

She nods.

"Do you know what you're having yet?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"It's a little too early still and Finnick and I aren't sure we want to know."

She nods and we start to walk downstairs.

"This may sound weird but the bathrooms you have are really awesome." She says as we walk downstairs.

"It is nice having a bathtub when you know it's new." I say thinking of my old apartment. As nice as the place was you would never see me take a bath there.

She smiles.

After a few more hours people start leaving. They compliment the food and what a nice time they had.

Once everyone is gone except Katniss and Peeta.

"Let me help." Katniss says and starts to pick up dirty dishes.

"You don't need to-" I start.

"You look at little tired. You should rest." Katniss adds.

"I'm not frail." I say.

"We know." Peeta says with a smile.

"You do hate doing dishes." Finnick adds.

I sigh. I hope everyone isn't like this for the whole pregnancy. I watch them clean up and once they are finished Katniss and Peeta leave shortly after.

"That was nice." Finnick says as we get ready for bed.

"It was." I say. "It was nice to show everyone our house and it was nice to see everyone all at once." I say.

Finnick nods.

"Finnick?" I ask as I get in bed.

"Yes?" He asks.

"Do you want to know if it's a boy or girl?" I ask and rub my stomach.

"Where'd that come from?" He asks.

"People have been asking, and I've been thinking." I say.

"What are you thinking?" Finnick asks.

"That I want to know." I say.

"Then when the time comes we'll know." He says and kisses me.

"We'll know." I say. "Finnick?"

"Yes?" He asks.

"Which one do you want; boy or girl?" I ask.

"I just want a heathy one." He says and kisses me.

"Me too." I whisper.

* * *

 **Christina POV.**

I pick up my cell and dial the number I know he is currently using. The stolen cell phone he has will only last a few more days.

"Hello?" He says.

"It's me." I say.

"And?" He asks.

"I got the lay out of their house and I don't think they will be changing it anytime soon." I say.

"You better make sure." He says harshly. "Because I want this to work with no chinks." He says.

"There won't be, I can guarantee that but, what if what happened to their darling Olivia happens this time as well." I say.

"It won't, trust me." He says.

"Just because you want something enough doesn't make it true." I say.

"I didn't ask for your opinion Christina." He says harshly.

"No you did not." I say almost bored.

"Good girl." He says and I can hear the smirk. "Draw me the layout and hand it to me on Wednesday."

"At the usual spot?" I ask.

"Of course girl." He says annoyed.

"I don't know why you're in such the rush. You have many months to figure out the big plan and I'm sure you're not so insolent to take away a newborn baby." I say bored.

"I know but I can wait. I've waited many years for many things. I can wait a few extra months after Miss.

Annie gives birth. She's just an important vessel now. Then she's a care taker. Then finally, she is a weeping Mother who has lost another child." He says.

"Why do you want her kid so much anyways John? It can't just be because she locked you up." I say.

"No but she married my son and we have a history." He says.

"Care to elaborate?" I ask.

"No I don't. Do you care to share why you hate Miss. Annie so much?" He says.

"No I don't." I say.

"See that's something else we share in common."

I roll my eyes.

"Whatever history you have with your son I hope you have a nice plan figured out after you take his child." I say.

"Don't worry, I'll figure something out during the months to come." He says.

"You better. I don't want to go down with you."

"You won't." He says.

It's silent.

"Oh and Christina, do me a favor and make sure to tell me if it's a boy or girl." He says.

"What does that matter?" I ask.

"I have my reasons, just do it."

"Yes sir." I say.

"I'll see you later Christina." He says.

"Goodbye John." I say and hang up.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"He's kicking up a storm." I say and rub my stomach.

Finnick places his hand on my stomach.

"Right here." I say and move his hand.

He smiles probably because he can feel the kick.

"You think he'll be into sports?" Finnick asks.

We found out it was a boy and we are both very happy, even though it didn't matter. I'm just going to love him so much.

"Maybe but, he's only moving because he's growing." I say.

Finnick kisses my cheek. Despite it being a boy we decided on a soft green color for the nursery. All the blues looked too blue. We are going to get him a nice blue blanket to make up for it.

"How are you feeling though?" Finnick asks.

I'm eight months pregnant now. I never got that far with Olivia. I'm worried almost everyday but my doctor keeps saying everything is fine, that everything is normal.

"I'm fine. I wish you would stop asking though." I say and kiss him.

"Well you always say your feet and back are hurting."

"I have someone else growing inside me of course I hurt." I say with a smile.

Finnick kisses my cheek.

"I just want to make sure." He says.

I nod.

"I do loath maternity clothes, most are too cutesy." I say.

"You mentioned it before." He smiles. "Almost every time you go shopping for some."

I nod.

"We should talk names sometimes, preferably soon." I say.

"Anything you fancy?" Finnick asks.

"Not right now. We should look into it." I say.

"We are not buying a book though." I say and he smirks.

* * *

"What's the matter?" Finnick asks as he watches me sitting on the sofa watching television.

"Nothing." I say and rub my stomach. "I think baby and me didn't like the food at the restaurant." I say.

He nods.

"Here." Finnick says and hands me the Tums.

"Thanks." I say.

I'm starting to get a little déjà vu. I remember sitting on the couch with Finnick having a stomach ache and then going to the hospital.

"You sure you're okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking about Olivia." I say. "I've been thinking about her a lot recently. Olivia was very sick by this time." I say.

"I know me too." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"She was dying." I whisper.

"Ann, don't look at it like that." He whispers.

"Until the end of my pregnancy I'm going to be worried… so worried." I whisper.

"Annie everything is fine." He says.

I nod.

* * *

"Hello Annie." Christina says and comes into my office.

I see she is carrying a box.

"What's that?" I ask.

"Package left for you." She smiles.

I take it from her. She lingers behind probably wanting me to open it.

I do and then smile.

"What is it?" She asks.

"Something one of my writers gave me." I hold out the small glass rocking horse. There was a rocking horse in one of his books that is somewhat plot important. "It will go great in the nursery." I whisper to myself.

"For your baby?" She asks.

I nod.

"It will look nice on the nightstand next to all of his toys." I say with a smile.

"His?" Christina asks.

"We're having a boy." I say.

"Congratulations." She says and smiles at me oddly.

"Is that it?" I ask nicely.

"Oh, yes." She says and leaves my office.

I smile at the small rocking horse and put it back in the box carefully.

* * *

"Your blood pressure is very high Annie." The door says a little alarmed.

I'm at the doctors to get a normal look at. Finnick couldn't come with me this time. He wants to save up as much time as possible before our son is born. He wants to be able to spend time with me after our son is born. He wants to help take care of him.

"What? Why?" I ask.

"Have you been feeling overly stressed?" She asks.

"I am now." I say.

She smiles.

"Have you been taking your prenatal medications?"

"Yes." I say slightly afraid.

"Stress levels and high blood pressure this late during pregnancy can have negative results."

"Negative-"

"I'm suggesting bed rest-"

"For the rest of my pregnancy?" I ask because that would be almost a month of lying around doing nothing.

"Why don't we wait until your next appointment and see." She says.

My next one is in two weeks.

I cradle my stomach.

"You're sure he's alright?" I ask.

She smiles.

"Let's take a look." She say and starts to roll the gel around my stomach.

I can hear his heartbeat, she does turn down the sound so she can just look at him.

The very detailed ultrasound pictures are wonderful and slightly gross at the same time. Sometimes it scares me to realize another life is growing inside me.

"His heartbeat is strong and he is growing and developing at the right speed." She says.

"So he's okay?" I ask.

"Yes. He's very healthy. You just need to take care of yourself now Annie." She says.

I nod.

She hands me some tissues to wipe up the gel.

"I'll see you in a few weeks Annie. Remember, stay off your feet and try to avoid salty foods." She says.

I drive home, when I get home I call work and clients to tell them what's up.

I lie down on the couch and start watching Netflix. Yes, technically I'm supposed to be in bed but I'm lying down and watching Netflix. I would be doing the exact same thing in my bedroom. I want to wait until Finnick comes home first. I don't want Finnick to search the house for me.

"Annie." I hear Finnick whisper.

I open my eyes. I must've fallen asleep.

"Finnick." I say through a yawn.

He kisses my forehead.

"Are you okay?" He asks and smooths my hair. "How was the doctors appointment?" He asks.

"It was okay. I mean she told me I had to go on bed rest." I say.

"Why?" He asks.

"High blood pressure." I say. "But he's okay." I say and rub my stomach.

Finnick nods.

"Did she say how long?" He asks.

"She said she would see after my next appointment. Which is in two weeks and you should probably drive me." I say.

Finnick kisses my cheek.

"I was going to go with you anyways."

He looks at me strangely.

"What?" I ask.

"If you're supposed to be in bed why are you out here?" He asks.

"Lying on the couch, lying in bed I don't see much of a difference." I say.

"Well I do." He says.

"Finnick." I whine. "Can't I eat dinner down here first?"

"Just for tonight." He says. "You probably shouldn't walk up and down stairs so much."

"Fine." I say.

Finnick basically orders me to go to our bedroom afterwards.

"Where are you going?" Finnick asks as I sit up.

"The bathroom and I think I can handle myself." I say. I didn't get up just to use the bathroom. The baby is pressing up against my ribs making me uncomfortable and a little hard to breathe.

"You sure?" He asks.

I roll my eyes.

"I'm not an invalid." I say.

"You're not supposed to be walking around." He says.

"It's not like we have a bed pan besides, this is temporary." I say.

I go to the bathroom and stretch trying to get him to move into a more comfortable spot. It helps a little I don't think lying down will help the pain go away but me walking around and standing isn't good for him.

"Sweetie try not to hurt Mommy." I whisper.

We I go back in bed I lean against Finnick.

"You know since we are just sitting here we could talk about names." Finnick says.

"Possibly." I say.

"We didn't argue that much over Olivia." He says.

"That was different Finnick, she was sick. We probably would've agreed on anything." I say thinking of the memory. We were driving home for the first time. We were leaving her at the hospital. Finnick did make suggestions but I ultimately won. He did get the middle name though.

I breathe in and out deeply.

"I don't think so." He says and kisses my cheek.

"I think we should wait until we see him to make sure the name matches his personality." I say.

Finnick smiles.

"Well then I can't wait." He says.

"Me too."

 **A/N: I usually name Finnick and Annie's son after Finnick but I'm willing to take suggestions (it isn't a guarantee if you give one.) you can leave them in the comments or message me.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

"It should be any day now Annie." My OB/GYN says as I sit up from the bed.

"Can I walk around now?" I ask. I basically got chained to the bed by Finnick. She said I was okay to do light activities but Finnick decided to take the drastic approach instead.

"Yes." She smiles.

"Okay you heard her Finnick." I say and he smiles.

"I just wanted you both to be okay." He says.

"Well, they both are Finnick." The doctor says with a smile. "Do you have any questions about the birth?" She asks.

"Not right now." I say. I usually don't have questions when the doctor asks but I think of some as soon as I get home.

Finnick doesn't seem to have any either.

Finnick laces his fingers with mine as we walk to the car.

"Any day now." Finnick says and squeezes my hand.

"Any day." I say and smile.

"You're not scared are you Ann?" Finnick asks. I can tell he knows the answer.

"Possibly." I whisper.

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"It's okay Annie. We both know you can do it."

"I know I'll just feel better when he's in the car seat and we're driving home." I say.

Finnick nods.

"Me as well." He says and kisses me.

* * *

I breathe in and out deeply as I feel the pain in my back grow stronger. Finnick is timing how long my contractions last before we 'should' go to the hospital.

"I think we should go now, considering the driving time." Finnick says.

I nod.

"Our son is coming." I say.

"Yes he is." Finnick says as we head to the car.

We get checked into the hospital and I get set up in a room. There aren't enough private rooms this time so we have to share with another couple.

Finnick draws back the dividing curtain so we can have some privacy.

"How are you feeling?" Finnick asks.

"Okay." I say and start braiding my hair. If it's like it was last time my hair will be getting in the way and sticking to my face when I start pushing.

"Good just think a few more hours."

I smile.

I hear the couple on the other side saying similar things. Although the female said this was their fourth child. I don't think Finnick and I will have that many children. I think three is my number.

Finnick started calling people after an hour.

"How are we feeling?" My doctor asks.

"Okay." I say

"How are you on pain?" She asks.

"Hurts, but it isn't unbearable." I say.

"We discussed pain medications, would you like some?" She asks.

I nod slightly. I remember giving birth to Olivia.

"Yes." I say.

Finnick starts rubbing my back after a few hours.

"How does that feel?" Finnick asks.

"Lower." I say. "Right there." I sigh when he finds the spot that has been throbbing.

I groan and grab the bed rail when I feel a contraction starting.

"Almost." Finnick keeps whispering.

I sigh deeply when it is over. I feel a little jealous of the woman who I was sharing a room with. She left a few hours ago to go to a delivery room. She's probably already given birth.

I lie back down when the doctor comes in.

I keep getting the feeling of wanting to push but I'm not supposed to not yet.

I reach for Finnick's hand which he happily takes.

He kisses my forehead.

"It can't be long now." He whispers.

I nod.

"Hopefully." I whisper.

The doctor comes in a few hours later and checks on me.

"You should head down to delivery now. You're nine and a half centimeters." She says.

"Okay." I say and my bed gets rolled away.

I groan.

"It's time to try pushing." She says after thirty minutes. I remember this part last time. It could still be an hour before our baby is in the world.

"Okay Annie." She says and starts counting down from ten.

I groan.

"Finnick." I say and grip his hand.

"Almost Annie." He says and I start pushing again and again and again until I hear cries fill the room.

I lay back grateful that I can hear his soft cries unlike Olivia.

They place him in my arms all swaddled up. He still has some gunk on him but he's perfect. I kiss the top of his head.

"I love you." I whisper and feel a tear roll down my cheek. Finnick kisses the top of my head. "Look what we did." I say and look up at Finnick.

He smiles.

"He's beautiful." Finnick whispers. "Just like his Mommy."

I kiss our sons head again.

A nurse soon takes him away.

"What are you doing to him?" I ask worried something is wrong.

"Just weighing and measuring, standard tests." She says with a smile.

"Okay." I whisper but don't take my eyes from him.

After they are finished they give him back.

I just keep looking at him. I feel another tear roll down my cheek.

"What's wrong Annie?" Finnick asks worried. He takes our son and holds him. "Are you okay?" He asks.

"He's just..." I sniff. "He's perfect and lovely. I just can't believe we get to take him home soon." I whisper.

Finnick places our son in his box and kisses my cheek.

"Does this have anything to do with Olivia?" He asks softly.

I shake my head.

"No, maybe a little...I just love our son so much. I just don't want anything bad to happen to him." I whisper.

"Nothing is going to happen to him. Like you said, we get to take him home in a few days." Finnick says.

I nod.

"Let me hold him." I say and Finnick hands him to me carefully.

Our son reaches up his arms.

"Should we talk names?" Finnick asks.

I nod. I wanted to wait until I saw our son to make it more clear, but I think I knew the name all along.

"Finnick." I say and smile.

"What?" He asks.

"That's what I want his name to be. I want him to be named after you." I say.

Finnick kisses the top of my head.

"He should have a middle name." Finnick says. Finnick doesn't have one.

"Mason? Jacob? James?" I say naming off suggestions.

"I like Jacob." Finnick says and runs his thumb over our sons cheek.

"Finnick Jacob Odair it is then." I say and kiss our sons head. "I think we should call him Nick. He looks like a Nick, right?" I ask.

"Yes." Finnick says and kisses me.

"We have a son." I say.

"Yes, we do." Finnick smiles.

We both look down at our son.

"And he's safe and healthy." I say.

"Yes he is." Finnick says and kisses me then our son.

"I love you both so much." I say.

"We love you too." Finnick tells me.

* * *

"And this is home Nicky." I say while carrying him through the door. He fell asleep on the way home, but I still feel better saying it.

"Finnick get the bassinet." I say as I set the car carrier down.

Finnick nods.

I take Nick from the carrier. He moans slightly.

"Shh. Shh." I say and kiss the top of his head.

I'm a little scared. At the hospital I had all the nurses help but at home it is just Finnick and myself. Most of our family lives in a different state so we don't have at home babysitters. Although my Mother is visiting soon. She said she wanted to help.

"Here we go." Finnick says.

"Here you go sweetie." I say and set Nick down.

Finnick smiles and sits next to me.

"What do we do now?" Finnick asks with a smile.

"No idea but we'll figure it out." I say. "We can take care of him."

"I know." Finnick kisses me. "And we'll do it together." He says and smiles.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Is he supposed to be crying this much?" I ask Finnick worried.

"Yes. He's crying because he needs something Annie." Finnick says and starts rocking him back and forth.

"I know that Finnick, but it seems like he never stops." I say.

"Annie, he's fine." He says although Nick is still crying.

"I feel like we are messing up. You don't think we messed up his life already do you?" I ask.

Finnick sighs but is smiling.

"Annie he's only two weeks old."

I grab Nick his pacifier and give it to Finnick. Nick happily takes it and stops crying.

"See better already." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

"I'm just worried about him." I say softly.

"I worry about him too." Finnick says. "But we've never done this before so it's scary."

"I know." I say and Finnick sets Nick down in his bassinet. "I just want to make sure he has everything he needs." I say and stare at Nick.

"Annie look at me." Finnick says and gently shakes my shoulder.

I turn towards him.

"He's going to be fine." Finnick says.

I nod and kiss him.

"I just love him so much." I say.

"Me too." Finnick says and we both look to our son.

* * *

"Is someone hungry?" I say and pick up Nick from his bassinet.

"That is his hungry cry." Finnick says with a smile as he starts to heat up a bottle.

"I know that's his hungry cry." I say with a smile. It took a little bit of time to figure out what he wanted when he was crying. Finnick and I learned fairly quickly. When you're baby cries for wanting you, you pick up on what they want besides your love.

"I know you do." Finnick says.

Nick whimpers loudly.

"Calm down Nicky Daddy's getting it." I say and kiss Nick's forehead.

Finnick comes over and gives me the bottle.

"Here we go." I say and start to feed Nick.

It's been a month since we've brought Nick home. It was a little scary at first. I had lots of those what the hell should I do moments but after a week Finnick and I got it down, for the most part.

"You go back to work next week?" I ask Finnick.

"Yes." Finnick says. "But you'll be okay with Nicky." He says.

"I know." I say and look up towards Finnick. "Nicky and I are best friends aren't we cutie?" I say.

Finnick smiles.

"I though I was your best friend." Finnick teases.

"Not until Nick came around." I smile.

Nick starts to fall asleep after his bottle.

"Go to sleep baby." I say and set him down gently.

* * *

Having Finnick go back to work was a little hard at first but I got it down now. Gregg asked when I would be going back to work. I said I would talk it over with Finnick.

"Hey Finnick." I say after dinner when Nick is asleep.

"Yes?" He asks.

"Finnick, I was thinking about when I should go back to work." I say.

"Okay, I was wondering too." He says.

"I was thinking maybe I should stay home for the first year." I say softly. I don't know how Finnick will react to this. I know I will always have a place at work but money is the real issue. I believe we have enough but Finnick gets his say as well.

"I think that's fine, great actually." Finnick says with a smile.

"Good. I just… I would rather take care of him than have someone else do it." I say.

"I know. I would like that as well but gotta make that money." Finnick smiles.

"I'll send you videos if you miss anything." I say.

"You better." Finnick teases and kisses me.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too."

* * *

"Mama." Nick says and chews on his teething ring.

"I'm coming baby." I say and pick him up. "Someone needs a new diaper." I say.

It seems like Nick has grown up pretty quickly. Every time we buy him clothes it seems like a few weeks later he needs new ones. He's six months old now. I can't believe it actually. He has some downy baby fluff hair that is the same color as Finnick's. He also has Finnick's eyes. There's no denying that this is Finnick's child.

I kiss Nick after his diaper is changed but he moans.

I hear the door open and am confused. Finnick shouldn't be home yet, it's only one. Finnick does come home for lunch sometimes but he always calls to make sure we're home.

"Let's see who's downstairs baby." I say and carry Nick in my arms. I set him down in his play pin.

I jump when I find the intruder.

"Ella?" I ask.

"Annie." She says and wraps her arms around me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I'm in town and you said I could visit." She smiles.

"I thought you would call." I say.

"Mama." I hear Nick say.

"Is that my little nephew." Ella smiles and walks towards the family room.

"Yes it's him." I say.

"Awe look how big he's gotten." She says and picks him up.

"He's growing every day. It's hard to get him clothes that he will fit into longer than a few weeks." I say.

Ella nods.

"He's the cutest little thing I've seen." She smiles. "It seems like he was just a little newborn." She says.

"I know. His teeth are starting to come in." I say excited.

"Yet he isn't very good at walking?" Ella says and is bouncing him on her lap.

"He doesn't like that." I say and stop her he sometimes throws up from the motion.

"Sorry." She says and kisses the top of his head.

"Be careful, I don't want his hair to fall out."

Ella rolls her eyes.

"Kissing him will not let the fluffy hairs fall off." She says. "When do you think it will grow in properly?" She asks.

"No idea."

"He still looks like a mini Finnick." She looks down at Nick. "Yes you do. You look just like Dada." She says in baby talk.

"Dada?" Nick says confused.

"Do you think he could say Ella?" She asks.

"Probably not, he can't say most words. Dada, Mama, baba, and other incoherent noises." I say.

"So nothing really exciting."

I scoff.

"That is exciting." I say. I was so excited when he said Mama. He started saying Dada weeks before. Finnick drove me crazy with his bragging as well.

"I guess for you it would be." She says.

"So are you staying here?" I ask her.

"I thought that was the implication you and Finnick have a guest room, right?" She says.

"Yes and you may stay here. How did you get in our house anyways?" I ask.

"Door was unlocked." She says and sets Nick down. He crawls off but I make sure to watch him. The house is incredibly baby proofed so he shouldn't be able to hurt himself. I wouldn't let that happen anyways.

"Finnick probably forgot to lock it back up." I say but the alarm should've gone off.

"Yes…Finnick." She smiles. "Do you and Finnick get out much?"

"I-"

"I mean you need alone time without Nick." She says.

I sigh.

"I don't like leaving Nick." I say. Finnick and I do leave the house together. Have a 'date night' but it's not very often. I don't trust just anyone looking after our child.

"Well why don't you and Finnuck go out tonight?" Ella asks eagerly.

"Ella-"

"Come on, its Friday night and you and Finnick are both young and attractive."

"I don't-"

"Besides, I won't charge you unlike most babysitters." She smiles.

I sigh and Nick crawls back over to us.

"I'll talk to Finnick." I say.

Finnick will say yes. He wants the same the same thing. Besides, it is healthy to leave your baby sometimes.

"Yay!" Ella says. Nick looks up at her and claps his hands. "Your son agrees as well." She says.

Finnick comes home in a few hours and is happy to go out. We aren't doing anything special. Probably the stereotypical dinner and movie. Finnick and I have been wanting to see a movie and if we're hungry afterwards so be it.

"Remember you can call Finnick or myself if you think anything is wrong." I say.

"I know." Ella smiles.

"Extra diapers are in the bathroom cabinet." I tell her.

"Good to know." She says.

"And he really likes his teddy bear so if he has trouble getting to sleep-"

"Annie I think Ella can take care of him for a few hours. Besides, Nick is a good baby. He hasn't had trouble sleeping in months." Finnick says.

"Okay but if you need anything at all."

"I'll call you, I know." Ella smiles. "Good. Now go and have fun."

I nod.

"Make sure she isn't tense all night Finnick." She tells him.

"Don't worry I'll make sure she has fun." He says with a smile.

"Let me say goodbye to Nicky." I say. I pick him up and hug him. "Mama and Dada love you." I kiss his forehead. "We'll be home soon." I whisper and kiss him again. "I love you."

"Mama." He says.

I kiss his cheek one more time and then give him to Ella.

"Make sure to set the alarm after we leave." I tell her.

"I got it." Ella smiles.

Finnick and I leave.

"He's going to be fine Annie." Finnick says and kisses me.

"I know but that doesn't mean I won't miss him." I say.

* * *

"That movie was a little awful." I say.

"It wasn't even the good kind of awful." Finnick says with a smile. "Hungry?" He asks.

"I want to check in with Ella first." I say and he nods.

This is Ella, you know what to do. I hear her voicemail play.

"What's wrong?" Finnick asks.

"I got her voicemail." I say.

"She's probably putting him to bed right now." Finnick says.

"But I-"

"Annie he's fine but if you want to go home-"

"That will make me seem like a worried Mom." I say softly.

Finnick smiles.

"You are a worried Mom." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Why don't we just pick up dinner and then we can go home." I say.

"I like it." Finnick smiles and we go to our usual Chinese restaurant to get take out.

We get home fairly quickly.

"Ella!" I shout as we walk through the door. Finnick starts to set out the food. "Ella!" I shout and head to the stairs. If she was putting Nick to bed that is where she will be.

When I get to the stairs I see Ella passed out on the bottom steps.

"Finnick!" I shout.

I kneel next to her and see her head is bleeding.

"What's wrong?" Finnick asks coming into the room.

"She's unconscious and bleeding." I say.

"Do you think she fell down?" Finnick asks.

"I don't know." I say.

"I'm calling 911." Finnick says.

I hear Ella moan.

"I'm checking on Nick." I tell Finnick. If she fell down I want to make sure he's alright too.

When I get to his room I see it is messy. His things are all over the room. It's as if Ella was searching for something. All of his diapers and clothes in the room are gone. So is his blanket but his teddy bear rests on the floor. I don't see Nick though.

I go back downstairs.

"Where's Nick?" I say gently to Ella. She isn't unconscious anymore but she is still out of it.

She mumbles something.

"Where is he?" I ask with more force and shake her a little.

"Annie don't the paramedics said to leave her be." Finnick says gently.

"Nick isn't upstairs though."

"He's probably downstairs then. I'll get him." Finnick says and I nod.

"Find… him." Ella moans.

"It's okay Ella." I say.

"Annie." Finnick say frantically.

"What?" I ask and stroke Ella's hair.

"I can't find him." Finnick says worried.

"Ella." I say gently. "Where's Nick, where's our son?" I ask.

Ella moans but manages to sob out a sentence.

"They took him." She moans again.

"Who took him?" I ask worried.

"She and he." She mumbles. She goes back unconscious.

"Someone took our son." I say and feel tears run down my cheeks.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

"What do you mean?" Finnick asks while trying to get my sister to keep still.

"He's not here Finnick!" I shout. "Ella said she and he took him." I say.

"Find him." I hear Ella mutter.

"I'm sure he's…" Finnick trails off.

"Just call 911 again." I say and hold my sisters hand. I kiss her forehead. "Tell me more." I whisper in a soothing tone.

"My head hurts." She mumbles. I shake her roughly. I know I shouldn't but she is the only person who knows what happened.

"Annie stop, you'll hurt her." Finnick says.

"But she knows what happened." I say.

"After they fix her up at the hospital she'll be able to tell us more." He says.

He takes Nick's teddy bear from my hands.

"I have something I need to tell you." Finnick says calmly.

"Do you know where he is?" I ask hopeful.

He shakes his head.

"No. But I think I know who did the taking." He says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Couple weeks ago I got a call from the state penitentiary."

"So?" I ask.

"They're required to call when someone involved with a crime gets released."

Finnick hands me the teddy bear.

"They called to tell me or us that my Dad, John, got released." He says.

"What? He murdered at least two people. He kidnapped and tortured me. How would he get out so early?" I say.

"His lawyer found a technicality or something." Finnick says.

I press the teddy bear to my chest.

"He did this." I whisper as tears roll down my cheek.

"He's the prime suspect." Finnick says.

I shove Finnick angrily.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?!" I say.

"I didn't want you to worry. I thought everything would be fine." He says.

"It's not fine Finnick! He stole our son! He hurt my sister! He took Nick!" I shout.

"Annie-" He starts but the paramedics come in.

They put Ella on the ambulance. One of them suggested strongly that I go with her but I refused. I want to talk to the cops.

The detectives and cops soon come. I'm still holding onto Nick's teddy bear tightly.

They're asking all these questions. Finnick answers most of them. Mostly about the suspects or ransom demands. It's not like Finnick and I have lots of money but I would sell or give anything to get Nick back.

"Do you have a picture of your child?" The deceive with dark brown hair asks. He doesn't look very old. Which means he probably doesn't have much experience but his partner is probably around retiring age.

"Nick his name is Nick." I say angrily. "Not just 'the child'." I say.

"Annie." Finnick says and rubs my shoulders. "They're trying to help."

"Well they should know his name!" I shout.

Finnick sighs and reaches for my phone.

"This is the most recent one." Finnick says. He's probably showing the detectives the picture I took of Nick yesterday. Finnick and I got him new clothes. I took pictures of Nick in all of his new clothes. I love taking pictures of him. It might be the whole first kid thing or it might be because I love him so much.

The detective nods and keeps talking to Finnick.

"We'll put out an amber alert and put the picture in every outlet we have." He says.

"He's six months old." I say in a deadpan voice. "He looks like every other baby. Only family members will be able to tell who he is." I say. "What good will any of this do?" I say.

"Annie just let them do their job." He says.

"They should be looking for him." I say because they've been here for hours.

Once they leave it is just Finnick and myself.

"I think we should go down to the hospital and see your sister." Finnick says.

The police are going to talk with her once she is better.

"How could you not tell me about John?" I say angrily.

"I didn't think anything of it."

"He likes to stalk people Finnick. He can easily find people with his determination and skill set." I say. "Did they even offer police protection?" I say.

"The police would've gone away in a few days." Finnick says.

"If they don't find him Finnick then it's on you." I say.

"Annie." He says hurt.

"I'm going to see Ella." I say not bothering to look back at him. "You stay here incase John or whoever took Nick comes back." I say and head to the garage.

"Annie wait-" Finnick says and follows me.

I turn towards him.

"Don't go." He says. He looks sad. The hospital is around an hour away.

To be honest I was hoping for an 'I'm sorry' instead.

"Ella might remember something and I don't want her to be alone." I say. "And someone does need to stay here." There's a moment of silence. "And I also don't want to see you right now." I say.

"Annie-"

"Goodbye Finnick. I'll call you later." I say and get in the car and leave.

Should I leave Finnick alone and angry? Probably not, but I don't want to look at him because he lied to me. He lied about something important.

I get to the hospital and find Ella's room with some assistance. I see her speaking with detectives.

"Do you think you could describe these people to a sketch artist?" I hear them ask as I walk into the room.

"I know who the girl was." She says and is looking at me.

"Who?" They ask

"She works with my sister. Her names Christina." Ella says and looks away.

"And the man?" They ask.

She shakes her head.

"Didn't get a good look, he's the one who hit me." She says softly.

"Thank you for this Miss. Cresta." They say and leave.

I look at Ella, but she is avoiding my gaze.

"Did you really not get a good look at him? Because if you're lying, I swear that I'll-"

"What, kill me?" She says. Her face is bruised and her lip is split.

I sigh.

"I didn't get a good look Annie. It was dark." She defends.

"Then why could you remember Christina?" I ask.

"Because she came at me from the front." She sighs. "Annie, I don't think they're going to hurt him." She says.

"They're already hurting him." I say angrily and walk towards her.

"Don't. I already feel bad." She says. "The last thing I remember are his cries."

"Why are you telling me this?" I ask intrigued and outraged.

"Because if they never find him I'll never forgive myself and I'll never be able to be around you." She says.

I nod not knowing what to say.

"Finnick lied to me." I say. I need to tell someone maybe I'm just overacting.

"What?" She asks confused.

"The man; Finnick thinks it's his Father."

"The guy who kidnapped you in college?" She asks and I nod. "Why?"

"Because he got out of prison." I say.

"What?" She asks surprised.

"They told Finnick, but he didn't tell me." I say.

She sighs.

"Annie stop looking for someone to blame." She says.

"Excuse me?" I say.

"There is no one to blame, it's just a messed up situation. But, if you want to blame someone it should be me and not your husband."

"Finnick lied-"

"I'm the one who convinced you to go out. I'm the one who was watching Nick when he was taken. Finnick didn't do anything wrong." She says.

I sigh.

"You should be with him. Finnick's probably thinking the same things you are. You should be together." She says.

"Maybe." I say.

"Not maybe. Yes, you should." She says.

"Fine." I say angrily.

"Don't be mad at him Annie." She says. I open my mouth. "You both need each other." She says.

A single tear rolls down my cheek.

"Okay." I say.

* * *

 **John POV.**

"Alright explain to me again why we aren't leaving the state or something?" Christina says worried.

"Because then it wouldn't be as fun." I say and the baby starts crying.

Christina picks him up and starts to calm him.

"Do you even know this kid's name?" She asks.

"It's Finnick." I say. "A fatal mistake made by them." Christina raises her eyebrows. "Makes it easier to track the kid down." I say.

"It's a baby, not exactly hard to find." She says annoyed.

I sigh.

"Do you think that girl is alright?" She asks.

"Ella will be fine. I only knocked her out." I say and reach out my hands to hold my grandson. Christina gives him to me.

"Don't you think we should be leaving the state or something? You hurt a woman and we kidnapped a child." She says.

"I don't run Christina, and if you haven't figured that out by now I'm disappointed." I say annoyed.

"So are we just going to stay here?" She asks.

"We'll find different living arrangements soon if it will make you feel better." I say and kiss the top of Nick's head causing him to start crying. "He looks like Finnick did at this age." I say.

Christina rolls her eyes.

"Is that why you took the kid, so you could reminisce?" She asks.

"No. I just wanted to raise a son." I say enraged Linda took Finnick away from me.

"Well alright then, but isn't your life going to get a little boring now."

"What makes you ask that?" I say intrigued.

"Well your little 'game' is over now."

I smirk.

"Oh no Christina the game has just begun. Getting the baby was phase one. Now we get to play a little game of cat and mouse." I smirk. This is what I have been waiting for. I know Annie is smart enough to know I won't hurt her son. She knows I'll keep him to spite her. Finnick might not agree with this but he'll hide his feelings for Annie.

Linda though is the real goal. She'll see the parallels and I can easily get a message to her within the forty eight hour time limit.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hi lovelies! Sorry it's been a bit, but I've had loads of tests recently and needed to study. Here's the next chapter, enjoy!**

 **Chapter Nineteen**

"Finnick?" I say as I walk into the house.

"Annie." Finnick says and hugs me.

I feel bad. I know my sister was right. I know this isn't Finnick's fault. I just… I just want our son back and Finnick was easy to blame.

"I love you." I whisper. "And I'm not mad at you."

He kisses the top of my head.

"I know." He says.

We sit down on the sofa in the living room.

"Did you hear anything?" I whisper. I'm hoping for a yes. I just want to hear something, anything, even if it is bad.

"No, but the police are looking for Nick and-"

"That's not good enough. We should be doing something. We should be looking for Nicky." I whisper.

"I know, but our job is to stay here." He says.

I press Finnick closer to me.

"Do you think they'll find him?" I whisper.

"They need to." He says.

I nod. If they don't find Nick I don't know what will happen to me personally. I don't know what will happen with my relationship with Finnick too because things weren't too great after Olivia died.

* * *

I hear a faint ringing noise. I think I fell asleep on the couch. Although, I don't think sleep is the right word. I think I just rested my eyes.

I sit up, but don't see anyone. I just hear Finnick's phone ringing. I pick it up quickly hoping it is someone with good news.

"Hello?" I say frantically.

"Annie? What are we doing answering Finnick's phone?" John says and I can almost hear the smirk I know is on his face.

"Where did you put him?" I say trying to stay calm.

"Don't worry your son is in good hands." He says.

"He needs to be with his Mom and Dad. He needs to be with Finnick and myself." I say.

"Do you know how easy it was to take him?" He says. "Your sister didn't even hear us enter the house. It was so easy to knock her out and take Nick that it wasn't even fun." He says.

"What do you want?" I ask. The detectives said that kidnappers usually want ransom but Finnick and I both know that is not the case with John.

Finnick comes into the room.

"Who's that?" Finnick whispers.

"Him." I whisper back.

"I'll call the detectives." He says softly.

"Talking to someone Annie? Finnick perhaps?" He says.

"Why do you care?" I say.

"I called Finnick's cell to talk to him, but you'll do for now." He says.

"Why do you want to talk to Finnick?" I ask.

"I have my reasons Annie." He says.

I open my mouth to say something, but he keeps talking.

"I'm curious about something Annie?" He says.

"What might that be?" I ask trying to stay emotionless. I know he just wants a reaction and I don't want to give him that.

"How does it feel right now Annie?"

"I-"

"Don't interrupt me when I'm speaking!" He says in a threating tone.

It's silent.

"I'm sure this must be hard for you especially after losing a baby and then having such a hard time trying to conceive another." He says and I can tell this twisted man is smiling. "And even if you try to replace Nick after we've run away you'll never be able to fill the void of losing two children."

I don't say anything, but I can feel my eyes starting to sting. I'm wondering how he knows about this. Has he really been working with Christina for this long? Christina knew about Olivia, although the other stuff is more personal. I didn't share that with anyone, maybe Ella, but she wouldn't tell anyone.

"Your son looks just like Finnick. I always wondered what Finnick looked like around this age. Now I know." He says.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply.

"Don't hurt him. Please." I whisper. I know John is probably enjoying hearing me almost in tears, but I can't help it. I know this man has my child and I also know John is probably close by.

"Why would I want to do that?" He says. I hear Nick scream loudly. I wonder what John is doing to Nick to make him cry like that. He probably isn't taking care of him. John can't exactly force a six month old child to do things for him. I wonder how he is taking care of Nick. I wonder if he is feeding him. I wonder if he is changing his diaper. He did steal almost all of Nick's clothes and diapers. I just hope John knows how to take care of a small child. Maybe that is why he needed Christina. I know she works part time as a nanny. "Why would I hurt Nick when I can just take him away and make sure you'll never see him again."

I'm still silent I don't know what to say. I never thought I would have some psychopath take my child.

"And I'm very good at what I do." He says. "Why don't you say goodbye so he can hear your voice one last time." John says evilly.

"What?" I say softly, but he doesn't respond. I hear muffling. I doubt he is even letting Nick hear this, but it is still messing with my mind.

"Say whatever you want."

"I-I won't give you that satisfaction." I say knowing John is really doing this to hear my reaction.

"Very well." He says.

"Mommy and Daddy aren't coming to get you because they don't love you anymore." I hear a female say, probably Christina.

I know Nick can't really process everything we say, but just thinking of him hearing these words makes me sick.

 _They don't love you anymore._

I can tell John is about to hang up, but because I'm so desperate I say the first thing that comes into my mind.

"Finnick's here now." I say and Finnick looks at me strangely.

"You don't say." John says interested.

"Yes." I say.

Finnick reaches for the phone and puts it on speaker.

"I'd like to talk with him." Johns says determined.

"You can talk to me all you want if you tell me where my son is." Finnick says.

"I don't think so Finnick." He says. "But I will give you a clue. I'd like to think of myself as a fair man."

"Well, you're not." Finnick says.

"Come now Finnick, you found Annie all those years ago and I didn't even help you that time."

Finnick sighs.

"What do you want?" Finnick asks.

"You know what I want Finnick. I want _her_." John says.

"I'm not giving you Annie." Finnick says harshly.

John scoffs.

"I don't want Annie. She means nothing to me." John says.

"Then-" Finnick starts

"I'm sure you've seen the parallels by now Finnick. Your young child being taken in the middle of the night, your fear of knowing you will never see him again, you knowing that what is happening is unfair, and you're also wondering how a family member could do something so sinister."

I can tell Finnick knows who John 'wants' I know who he wants too. I remember back when I was taken Finnick's Mom told Finnick and myself about John. The real story is that John would beat Finnick's Mother so one night when she got up the courage she took Finnick and ran away with him. This of course didn't stop John from stalking them for most of Finnick's childhood.

"You can't have her either." Finnick says.

"Well I hope you're as good as I was at following you around because then you will never see your son again. This time I get to be the one who raises a child, not Linda." He says angrily.

It's silent.

"However, since you haven't gotten to talk this over with your Mother I will give you that opportunity, but if you refuse again that's it. Game over. I win." John says and the phone line goes dead.

"How is he going to contact us again?" I ask Finnick, but he isn't listening to me. "Finnick, do you think we should call your Mom? Even if she doesn't see John she might be in danger." I say.

"Probably, but he can't see her." Finnick says

"I know." I say confused.

"No, you don't. My Mother would go right to John knowing we will get Nick back."

That's probably true. I think my Mother would do the same thing. I think anyone, minus my Father, would probably do it.

"Well, if it comes down to that I'm sure the police will be watching over her."

"He will expect that Annie, the point I'm trying to make is that if my Mom gets remotely close to John he will take her. He will take her and he will kill her." Finnick says.

I can't really argue with that because I'm pretty sure John wants to do more than just talk to her. His Mom still feels guilty for what happened to me in college and if she finds out the only way we will get Nick back is to walk right into the hands of a psychopath I'm pretty sure she would do it. Even though she would know she will get hurt.

"I'm sure the police will be able to figure out a way to keep everyone safe." I say. Finnick nods, but he has that look on his face when I can tell he doesn't believe me.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

Finnick called the detectives and they thought his Mother should be notified. Finnick doesn't want his Mom going anywhere near John and I don't blame him because we know his end game. John wants to kill Linda.

Our front door opens and it's Linda. She hugs me and then Finnick.

"You should've called earlier." She says.

"We didn't know what he wanted." Finnick says.

"I'll make sure to get my grandson back." She says.

"Mom… no." Finnick says.

I leave the room. I don't want to be apart of this discussion.

"Finnick you know he'll get his way in the end." She says.

I walk upstairs and sit in Nick's room pressing his teddy bear to my chest. I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"I just want my baby back." I whisper to myself.

I can hear the conversation getting heated downstairs. The detectives are getting involved as well.

"I'm sure Annie thinks so too." Linda says.

I close my eyes and feel the tears leak out.

"I'm sure she doesn't right Annie?… Annie?" Finnick says confused.

"She went upstairs dear." Linda says.

I breathe in and out deeply knowing Finnick will come running up here trying to get him to convince his Mother to see John is a stupid choice.

"Annie?" Finnick says and sits next to me. He wipes the tears away and I open my eyes.

"Anything?" I whisper.

"They're deciding what to do when John calls with further instructions." Finnick says and I nod.

"You were fighting with your Mom." I say.

"That's because she wants to see him." Finnick says.

"She'll have police detail though." I say.

"He doesn't want that." He says.

I sigh.

"They'll make sure she's safe." I say.

I hear the doorbell go off and Finnick and I both rush downstairs.

The police only want Finnick or myself to answer the door or phones.

I open the door and feel fury.

"Ding dong." Christina says with a smirk and shoves past me.

"Where is he?" I say. I don't know if I mean Nick or John.

She rolls her eyes.

"John is right you _are_ predictable." She says and looks towards Linda.

"Don't you think it's a little stupid to come when you know cops will be here?" Finnick says.

"Just consider this my confession." She looks towards the detectives and smiles.

They start to walk towards her, probably to put her in handcuffs but I stop them.

"Why else did you come here?" I ask.

"I'm here to deliver the message." She smirks.

"What message?" I ask.

"Where John wants to meet." She says. She looks towards the detectives. "He doesn't want any police and if he spots them, which he will, he'll take Finnick Junior and make sure you'll never see him again."

"And where does he want to do this?" One of the detectives ask.

"A very public spot. He wants an exchange." She laughs to herself. "Linda for the kid after you have the kid you don't go looking. Well you could but you'll never find them." She says.

"When is this supposed to take place?" Linda asks.

"An hour to give you some time to think." She smirks and gives us the place which is a local cafe. It's only fifteen minutes away. He'll probably sit outside. One of the detectives arrests her and one stays behind.

"We should go." Linda says.

"Mom." Finnick says harshly.

"Finnick, I'll be fine and this is what's right." She says.

"We will have police watching close by." The detective says.

"But he doesn't-" Finnick starts.

"Does John seem like the person who doesn't want to be dramatic?" I say.

"He likes to show people he's smarter than them. He wants the police to come Finnick." Linda says.

"If something happens to you-" Finnick starts

"Don't worry Finnick, I won't get hurt." She says.

Finnick and I were originally instructed not to come. The police think Finnick will get involved and I don't blame them, however I did convince them to let me come.

I get to watch from afar in one of the police cars. I can see just enough to see John sitting outside with Nick on his lap. I also see Linda start walking to the table.

 **John POV.**

Linda sits down at the table across from me.

I smile.

"I was almost concerned you wouldn't show." I say but she isn't looking at me, she is looking at our grandchild. "He looks like, Finnick doesn't he?" I say and bounce him on my lap causing him to cry slightly. "Oh that's right, I wouldn't know." I say.

"Just give Finnick and Annie Nick back." She says gently and reaches for the child but I turn him away causing him to start crying.

"Give him to me." Linda says.

"So you can steal him away. I can see the police all around us Linda." I say.

"I'll go with you John, but you have to give Nick back first." She says.

"I don't see either of his parents here." He smirks.

"Annie's here, she's just hiding." Linda says nervously.

"Then I want her hear now!" I say loudly.

Linda makes a movement and I see a car door open. I see Annie. The police shouldn't be doing this so easily. It's almost sad. It's also insane how they think they're going to catch me.

Annie comes up close. I remember her from her college days. She still has that nice smell about her. She looks less innocent, but that isn't surprising. She still looks beautiful though. I still wonder how Finnick brought a girl like her to bed and I wonder how she tricked him into staying around. I watched Finnick long enough in college to know he bedded many women and they didn't stay very long. I don't understand why Annie's so special. When I spent that time with her she didn't seem all that special.

I look her up and down, sometimes I regret the fact that I didn't take her forcefully because she's so beautiful and I could feel what Finnick does. I almost want to change the deal for Linda and Annie, but I know that wouldn't work. I can't have them both because it would make it easier for them to escape, besides a child needs its mother _and_ father.

"You look lovely." I say to her but she is just looking at her son. "Look at me Annie." I say demanding.

She does and I can see fear and sadness in her eyes.

"Don't worry I took perfect care of him. Fed him. Changed him. Burped him. My grandson is such a good sleeper." I say. I can tell she feels sick that I used the word grandson but she won't say anything she isn't the type. "I wanted to make sure he was safe because of what happened to my granddaughter." I say. I can see Linda's body stiffen at these words and it looks like Annie wants to yell or breakdown into tears.

"I see." Annie says and keeps gazing at her son.

"Yes, he did call out for Mama and Dada." I say which makes her expression worsen. I smile. "Where's Finnick?" I ask. I don't really care but am surprised he didn't come.

"He didn't come." She says vaguely.

"Obviously that's why I'm asking."

"Can I just have my son back?" She says and is reaching for him. I can see tears start to form in her eyes.

I roll my eyes.

"No need to be overdramatic Annie." I say.

She looks at me confused.

"You can have him and after this I will be out of your life for good." I say.

A crease forms between her eyebrows. She thinks I'm lying and she should, but after I get rid of Linda I will have no point to see the Odair family again. Besides, I know Finnick will have to live with the grief of what has happened to his Mother.

"Okay." She says softly.

"You can take your son and I can take Linda and we'll all be on our merry way." I say.

Annie swallows hard she doesn't like this deal, but she loves her son too much to just walk away now.

She takes him from me slowly. He stops crying instantly knowing he's now in familiar hands, safe hands. She presses him to her chest and he leans his head against her cheek.

"You're okay baby." She whispers and kisses his head.

"Mama." He whispers.

"You can go now Annie." I dismiss her. She looks at Linda for a few minutes. I shoud've known she wouldn't leave easily. I take the gun I had in my jeans and point it at her from under the table. I don't like using weapons. It's usually a last result but I need Annie to leave. "Go." I demand. I can tell by her face she saw the gun.

"It's alright Annie." Linda says.

Annie nods slowly.

"Thank you." Annie says softly and I think I see a tear roll down her face.

 _Good lord._ I think to myself.

Linda nods and Annie walks off with her son safely in her arms.

"What do you think will happen with her relationship with Finnick now? I mean she left you to die, do you think Finnick will forgive her?" I ask.

She looks at me disgusted.

"I wish I never laid my eyes on you." She says.

"Then you wouldn't have Finnick." I say.

"There never was supposed to be a Finnick." She says softly. She technically isn't wrong. She never wanted a kid, but, it's not like I raped her… although she reported differently.

"So you wished he was gone now?" I ask.

"No, I just wish he had a different Father, a better Father." She says.

"Well without me he wouldn't be here." I smirk. "But without him we wouldn't be in this position." I say.

"What?" She says confused.

"You would've never left me." I say.

She scoffs.

"I would've eventually John, having Finnick just made it happen faster."

I roll my eyes.

"Stand up." I tell her.

She does without question.

"Looks like I still have you trained." I say with a smile.

She doesn't say anything. I stand next to her and place the gun at her side making sure she won't run away. Although I know she won't because she knows I would just go back and take Nick or even Annie.

"You know there are police here." She says.

"Oh yes which is why they're going to have fun watching me walk off into the sunset with you."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

After I have Nick in my arms I hurry back to the police car. They told me I should take him to a medic because they have no idea what they could've done to him. The cops brought one here so I do.

He starts crying when Nick leaves my arms/

"You're okay sweetie." I say and hold his small hand which makes him feel better.

"He looks good Mrs. Odair. You should go home now." He says.

"But what about Linda?" I whisper and pick Nick up. I have him lean into my chest.

"Mama." He whispers and starts playing with my necklace. The one that says _Olivia_ on it.

"We have it under control, its best if you take your son home so nothing bad will happen to either of you." He says.

"Mama." Nick whispers again.

I look towards the table John and Linda were sitting and see they are both gone.

"Mama." He whispers.

"Alright." I say.

I come inside and see Finnick in the living room. He looks terrible.

"Annie." Finnick says. He sees Nick and takes him from my arms.

Nick looks scared at first but soon realizes it's Finnick.

"Dada." He whispers. Finnick kisses his head.

"Is he okay?" Finnick asks.

I nod.

"What about my Mom?" He asks.

"Dada." Nick whispers.

"They said they have it under control Finnick." I say softly and rub Nick's back.

"Mama, Dada." He says.

"We're here baby." I whisper and kiss the top of his head.

"Did he walk off with her?" Finnick asks.

"Yes." I say. "But since they know where he is they'll get her back Finnick." I say.

"And if they don't." Finnick says.

"I don't know." I whisper.

Finnick nods but is clenching his jaw.

"Mama, Dada." Nick says

"At least we have our little man back." Finnick says with a smile.

"Yes." I say and a tear rolls down my cheek. Finnick kisses it away.

"Dada." Nick says.

"I'm right here buddy." Finnick says. Nick puts his small hand on Finnick's cheek as if to make sure.

"Mama." He says and points to me. I take his small hand and kiss it. "Mama, Dada." He whispers.

"That's us." I whisper. "I'm never going to take my eyes from him." I say and can feel more tears about to leave my eyes. "He's going to sleep in our room now." I say. Nick is still in his crib so we just have to move it back in there.

"Okay." Finnick says surprising me. "Do you think John did anything to him?" Finnick asks.

"The medic said he was fine, although he started crying like crazy when I let go of him." I say.

"Mama." I hear softly.

"John probably did something then, just not physically." Finnick says.

"Being taken by a stranger probably does that. I just hope this didn't traumatize him so much that it will effect the rest of his life." I say.

"He's only six months old. He won't remember anything." Finnick says and I nod.

I kiss Finnick.

"We got him back." I whisper. "I thought I'd never see him again." I say and tears start to leak from my eyes.

"We did Annie, he's right here in my arms." Finnick says. "Do you want him?" He asks and I nod.

I take him and he has that scared look until he figures out it's his Mom.

Finnick is looking at him strangely.

"What?" I ask.

"He looked scared." Finnick says.

"Mama." He whispers.

"Once he realizes it's us though he's fine." I say.

"I hope so." Finnick whispers and kisses the top of his head. "I need to find out more about my Mom." He says.

"Okay." I say. I can't blame him it is obvious John wants to hurt her. Finnick kisses Nick and then me.

"I promise I'll be back soon." He says and I nod.

When the door closes Nick starts crying loudly.

"Shh. Shh. You're okay baby. Mommy's here. Mommy's here." I say and pick up his favorite toy. "Look, look, look." I say and put it close to him. "It's teddy." I whisper and he takes it and stops crying. "There we go." I say and kiss him. I clean up his tears and watch him cuddle his bear.

After spending a few hours with Nick it is clear something about him is different. He cries more than usual and seems to be afraid of loud noises. He started crying when I got his blocks out to play with and was almost impossible to feed.

"What did he do to you baby?" I whisper. I wonder if baby's can get some kind of PTSD. John said he took care of Nick but he just said he made sure to feed him and change his diaper. I wonder where they put him. They stole enough of his clothes and toys for him to be comfortable. But Christina and John could've been shouting or hurting each other. I know Nick's too young to actually remember what happened, but it seems like he remembers the noises or something.

"Mama." He says.

Finnick's been gone for hours and I'm getting worried. I don't want to get Nick back just to lose Finnick.

I get my phone out and call Finnick.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm at the hospital." He says.

"Is your Mom okay?" I ask.

"She should be." He says.

"And John?" I ask.

"Dead." He says softly.

"That's good." I say and feel a little guilty. I should feel happy that someone else is dead even though John traumatized all of us.

"Yeah it was self defense so it will be okay." Finnick says.

"Your Mom shot him then?" I ask remembering John had a gun.

"No that wasn't in his 'rules'." Finnick says.

"What?" I ask confused.

"His end game was to get shot, but by a certain person." Finnick says.

I close my eyes. I know the answer.

"You." I whisper.

"It was self defense Annie. I just didn't shoot up the place and they have security footage anyways." He says.

"I believe you Finnick." I say. I don't believe John's end game was for Finnick to kill him though and if it was he probably didn't think Finnick would do it.

"Is Nick okay?" Finnick asks.

"He keeps crying and gets scared easily. It was really hard to feed him." I say.

"He should see a doctor. John might have traumatized him." Finnick says.

"Maybe." I say and it is silent. "Are you okay Finnick?" I ask.

"I'm fine, why?" He asks.

"Because you killed someone." I say.

"I had to, to keep our family safe from that psycho." He says.

"I know, but I just want to make sure. I'll always love you Finnick." I say.

"I'll always love you too." He says. "I gotta go my Mom is waking up." He says.

"Okay thank her for us. She did too much Finnick." I say.

"I will. I have." He says and the line goes dead.

I set Nick down in his play pin which makes him starting crying. I can't hold him in my lap forever, maybe something is wrong with him. I just can't believe Finnick killed his Dad though. I understand why he did but I can't believe it.

* * *

 **Finnick POV**

 _The only way to get out of here is if someone dies, that's the end game. It wouldn't be fun to just take Linda to a room and beat her to death. It's always more fun when there are more players are involved._ I hear his words in my head as I wait for the doctors to tell me about my Mom. He was beating the shit out of her. It was the right things to do. He would've beaten her to death.

 _It was the right thing to do._ I think to myself again. I've been repeating it over and over in my head, butf it was the right thing to do why do I feel so guilty.

Although all of this was too simple. Christina getting herself arrested and John giving Nick back just so he could take my Mom and die. John didn't seem suicidal and he's been stalking people long enough to not get caught so easily.

At least I didn't have to go over the story with the police because there were officers close by and cameras. It's not like I'm going to get locked up but I still did kill someone.

Annie seems so worried about Nick now too. We have him back, but John probably traumatized him somehow. Nick was only with him for about two days, but if Nick's crying at everything then something isn't right.

I remember what he said right before he died.

 _I hope this was worth getting your son back._

I wonder what he means by that.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

It's been two months since we got Nick back and things have not been the easiest. Finnick is in therapy because he is riddled with guilt. I've noticed he's been drinking more than usual. He usually can't go to sleep unless he's had something to drink right before bed. I can always smell the beer. I get it, I do. When you kill someone you generally change even if you're a cop I think it changes you, but I don't think cops have to go to therapy because they've been trained on what to expect.

As if that isn't bad enough Nick won't sleep through the night and cries when Finnick or I aren't in his sight. We've taken him to two different doctors and they all say the same thing. They say he's fine. One of them said the unfamiliar/unsafe atmosphere might have affected him, but it should go away once he's been home for awhile. He was only taken for two days. How can he be so effected?

Linda came to see Nick after she got out of the hospital. He didn't cry when she held him, but when my sister and brother came to see if I was alright Nick cried when they held him.

"Come here baby." I say and pick Nick up. "It's lunch time."

He pulls on my hair which I always find as a good sign. He did this when he was little whenever I would kiss or sooth him.

"There's Daddy." I say and kiss his cheek when I see Finnick in the kitchen.

"Dada." He says and reaches for Finnick.

Finnick smiles at him.

"Let me." He says and holds out his arms to hold Nick. I give him to Finnick and Nick leans into him. "I was thinking we should take him outside for walks and stuff. He needs to get accustomed to the world." I say.

"Finnick I don't know." I say wary.

"We would take him on walks all the time and it's a nice day." Finnick says.

I sigh.

"Okay." I say.

We do go for a walk, we actually walked to the park close to our house. Nick seemed to be enjoying himself which makes me feel better.

"I think he's getting better." Finnick says as we walk inside. Nick fell asleep on the way home.

"I hope so." I whisper and put Nick in his crib so he can nap.

Finnick goes to the fridge and gets a beer. It's four in the afternoon but I will keep count. Finnick is a big drinker so he probably won't get flat out drunk until he's on his fourth one but still it makes me worry.

"Dinner tonight?" He asks.

"Let's just order pizza I'm not in the mood for cooking." I say and he nods.

* * *

"There you go baby." I say and place Nick in his crib.

I hear a knock on the door and am confused. Finnick's at therapy. He's been doing better, but he is still drinking more than I would like. I wouldn't say he is abusing it, but I think he's teetering on a fine line right now.

I grab the baby monitor when I hear the knock again.

I go to the front door and am shocked when I open it.

"Annie." He says with a kind smile.

I open and close my mouth multiple times before I'm able to speak.

"What are you doing here Dad?" I ask. The last time I remember seeing my Dad I think was my wedding day and that was almost seven years ago. He sent a card when he found out Olivia passed which surprised me because he stopped sending birthday and Christmas cards years before.

He smiles and is almost studying me.

"Dad?" I say again because now he is just out right staring

"Sorry I just haven't seen you or heard your voice in awhile." He says.

"What are you doing here?" I ask angry and confused.

"I heard what happened to you and Finnick." He says. I'm surprised by this I wouldn't think anyone would tell him, then again Nick's picture was all over the news for the amber alert.

I hear Nick on the baby monitor.

"Mama." I hear softly and my Dad raises his eyebrows.

"And?" I asked.

He reaches his hand out and squeezes my shoulder.

"I want to fix this." He says and motions back and forth. "I want to fix our relationship." He says.

"Mama." I hear again.

"Stay there and don't touch anything. I need to check on my son." I say.

"Can't I see him?" He asks.

"No." I say. He doesn't press so I walk off to get Nick. "Hi sweetie." I say and pick him up and rock him back and forth.

"Mama." He says and plays with my necklace. I kiss his cheek. "Let's get you something to eat." I say because I can tell he's hungry. I kiss the top of his head and carry him downstairs. I see my Dad still standing near the front door.

I sigh. I don't want to just slam the door in his face, especially since he probably flew all the way down here. Besides, something seems different about him… he seems genuine.

"Come on." I say and motion my head so we can go to the kitchen.

I get the high chair and get some applesauce for Nick.

I see my Dad looking around my house. I don't blame him, he's probably curious of where his daughter is living. Finnick and I talked about moving ever since the John thing but I don't think we will, especially since he is dead.

I sit down and start to feed Nick. It makes me look at my Dad at a better angle. He's gained weight probably from age and his hair is more gray than I remember. He isn't looking at me at all, he's just looking at Nick.

"He's the first grandson." He says and gets closer.

I nod. I'm also sure he considers this to be his first grandchild. He probably doesn't count Madeline because she's not 'blood'.

"He doesn't look like you though." He says and I can hear disappointment.

"That's because he looks like his Dad." I say.

"Dada?" Nick looks up at me with a curious smile.

"Daddy's not here cutie." I say and brush my finger on his nose as Nick takes another bite of applesauce.

I notice my Dad is staring at me.

"You're good with him." He says and pulls out the chair across him Nick.

"I'm his Mom." Is all I say. "And I'd never leave him when he needs me." I say softly.

My Dad sighs.

"Annie I know I said and did things in the past but I can't change it so I think we should try and fix this. I want to make amends, but we both need to be willing for it to work."

"Are you going to therapy?" I ask surprised. I can tell by the way he's talking he has been. I remember when I was in college the therapists give you certain talking strategies and goals to help you through the day. I can tell when Finnick talks sometimes it's with help from his therapist.

"Possibly." He says. He sounds ashamed.

"Does it help you?" I ask.

"Yes, which is why I wish I would've just given you that money when you asked for therapy." He says.

I don't say anything I just look at Nick.

"I know the past few years for you haven't been easy and I know I've lost the right to ask or talk about it with you but I do miss you." He says.

"Then why did you never call?" I ask.

"Because I knew you wouldn't want to talk." He says. He's true but if he would've called more, been more annoying we could've had this conversation before. "I did try a few times but you changed your number." He says.

"That was a few years ago." I say. I lost my old phone and they told me for some reason that I couldn't get my old number back. "Why were you calling me?" I ask.

"Ella let it slip that you were pregnant. You were apparently far along from what I could gather." He says. I take Nick out of the high chair and hold him close to me because I wasn't pregnant with Nick then.

"I didn't tell her not to say anything." I say truthfully because I didn't even think about him.

"I wanted to be a part of their life and I wanted to tell you how sorry I was." He says.

If my Dad would've called me and said that I might have been more willing to talk.

"Why not just visit me and say this?" I ask.

"I was going to, but Ella told me not to." He says.

"Why?" I ask. Ella doesn't usually like to get involved with family drama.

"Because she told me what happened to your first child."

"Mama." Nick says and starts playing with my necklace, the one Finnick gave me for Olivia's first birthday. We 'celebrated' her second one too which mostly consisted of buying flowers.

I kiss the top of his head.

"Why are you saying child?" I ask it sounds too awkward.

"I wasn't allowed to know if it was a girl or boy." He says which surprises me. I wasn't the one who told our family about Olivia. I know Mom and Ella did most of it for me, but I wouldn't have expected Ella not to share that we had a daughter.

"It was a girl and she was perfect." I say. I feel like crying. I don't talk about this to anyone except Finnick. People don't really ask to talk about your deceased child.

He nods.

"Why didn't you try and talk to me when I was pregnant with Nick if you wanted to be apart of my child's life?" I ask.

"I don't know." He says.

I nod.

I hear the garage door open and know Finnick is home from therapy.

Nick giggles when he sees Finnick.

"Dada!" Nick exclaims.

"Hey buddy." Finnick says and kisses his cheek. Nick smiles.

"Hello Rick." Finnick says not bothering to look at my Dad.

"Finnick." He says and nods.

"Annie can we talk over here?" Finnick asks.

I nod and we head to the family room. Nick starts struggling in my lap so I set him down in the play pin where he starts to hold and grab his teddy bear.

"Did you call him?" Finnick asks surprised.

"No, he just showed up." I say and Finnick looks towards the kitchen.

"Do you want him to leave?" He asks.

"I don't know. He said he wanted to make up." I say.

"And you believe him?" Finnick asks.

"He sounded genuine Finnick." I say. Finnick has wanted me to talk to my Dad for ages but I never did. I find it odd that Finnick wouldn't like this idea.

He nods.

"Okay." He says.

"Do you not think its a good idea?" I ask.

"It's curious timing." Finnick says and is looking at Nick who is smiling up at him.

"Finnick he won't take Nick." I say softly. "Especially if he wants to build a relationship." I say.

"I know he won't take him away." Finnick says.

"I think he should stay for dinner." I say softly.

"Really?" Finnick says surprised.

"He said he wanted to be apart of our child's life and Nick doesn't really have a Grandpa." I say.

Finnick nods.

"Okay." He says and kisses my cheek. "I'm proud of you for doing this Annie." He says.

"I know." I say and kiss him again.

"Dada." Nick says and makes his hands into fists signaling he wants to be picked up.

"Come here little man." Finnick says and picks Nick up while I walk over to my Father.

"Dad." I say.

"Time to leave?" He says disappointed.

"No. Finnick and I actually want you to stay for dinner." I say and twirl my wedding ring afraid of what he might say. I can tell he still doesn't like Finnick, but he's going to have to work on that if he wants to be in my life.

"That's wonderful." He says and smiles.

My Dad and I talk while Finnick makes dinner. It feels awkward. I haven't seen my Dad in awhile so when he asks me what's new I have loads to tell him. I don't go into everything, but I do tell him about my job and our house. I can tell he doesn't like the color of the kitchen but I don't care.

"Can I get a tour?" He asks.

"Maybe next time. It's messy." I say. Which is true, but the last time I showed someone around our house they stole our son.

He nods. He isn't going to push because he knows he doesn't have that right anymore.

"Can I hold him?" He asks while looking at Nick who is playing with his blocks.

I swallow hard.

"Yes." I say softly.

"Come here baby." I say and pick him up and kiss him. "Here's your grandpa." I say and hand him to my Dad.

He's only in my Dad's arms for a few seconds when I see his face scrunch, then I hear the cries.

"Mama!" He says loudly.

My Dad hands him back and Nick stops crying.

"You're okay baby." I whisper and rock him back and forth. "Mommy's got you." I whisper and kiss his cheek.

I look at my Dad.

"Sorry. He hasn't liked many people holding him since he came home." I say. "When Carter came to visit he cried too." I say which isn't a lie but he lasted longer than a second. I don't know what John did to Nick when he took him but he obviously did something because he hates when anyone but Finnick or myself touch him.

My Dad nods.

"He's handsome." My Dad says anyways. "Even if he doesn't look like you." He says and I nod. I don't know if that is a complement or not but I don't want to get into it with him.

"Do you ever think about having another?" He asks but his face looks like he shouldn't have asked.

"I don't know but after what just happened I don't think so." I say. Finnick and I talked about it when Nick was probably a month old. Finnick said he wanted Nick to have a sibling because Finnick was sometimes lonely when he was growing up. I said I wasn't sure and considering it took us almost a year to conceive Nick we probably should've started trying by now because I would want them to be close in age.

But since Nick was taken I don't see it in the cards anytime soon because I'm also worried about Finnick too.

He nods.

"Do you think Ella will get married soon?" He asks.

Ella has been dating her boyfriend for three years. Finnick and I only dated for two when we got married but the timeline is a little messy because we did break up.

"I think she wants to date longer. I think she wants to feel safe when she gets married." I say.

"Dinners ready." Finnick says.

Dad asks Finnick about his work. I can tell he doesn't approve of Finnick's job by the tone of his voice but he is trying to be polite. I can't tell if Finnick is noticing this or not though.

"Ella's coming to visit me next weekend and I would really like if you did as well." He says.

Finnick and I do have a three day weekend coming up, but we didn't think about leaving. We live eight hours away from my parents house and Nick has never been on a plane before.

"I don't know Dad it's far and I think flying with Nick will be difficult." I say but I would be able to see my Mom and I know she has been wanting to see Nick since he has been kidnapped. She doesn't have the time to drop everything and visit.

"I'll talk it over with Finnick." I say.

He nods.

"This was nice Annie. I hope I see you again soon." He says and I walk him out. I wonder if he flew all the way out here just to talk to me.

"See it wasn't so horrible." Finnick says as I walk back inside.

I nod.

"He wants us to see him next weekend." I say.

"It is a three day weekend and we both only work a half day on Thursday." He says.

"I don't know about flying with Nick." I say.

"Annie it will be two hours tops." He says. "But we don't need to." He says.

"I wanted my Mom to see Nick." I say and Finnick nods.

"He still cries when other people hold him." I say.

"Rick has never held Nick before so it's obvious why he would cry." Finnick says.

I nod.

"So? Do you think we should go down there?" I ask.

"It seemed like your Dad was trying so I think we should." Finnick says.

"Me too." I say with a smile.

I help Finnick clean up from dinner and notice after he goes to the fridge to get another drink that's the fifth one today.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

"Annie!" Ella squeals as the door to our Father's house opens.

"Ella." I say and walk inside then Finnick does who is carrying Nick.

The plane ride was only two hours but it seemed to last forever because Finnick and I were those people. You know the type as soon as you get on a plane. You pray that the people with a child won't sit next to you because you fear they'll be crying the whole time.

I remember when Nick was first born and I took him to the grocery store. He was crying up a storm one time and I couldn't calm him down easily. I could feel the stares of everyone in my vicinity as if they've never seen a crying baby before, but you know why they are staring. The are staring because they just want you to quiet them and if you can't do it quickly enough, you get judgy and annoyed stares as if you're doing it on purpose. Eventually you get over all that stuff because guess what world, young babies cry when they want something because they can't communicate any other way.

The plane ride was only two hours long so the looks we got when Nick cried (which was pretty much the whole trip) were awful. The man who got seated next to us actually asked one of the stewardesses (loudly) if there were any vacant seats. There weren't of course.

Finnick never seemed to be phased by it. He took the lead most of the time but I was thankful (as well as everyone else) when we landed. I was just happy it wasn't an international flight when people sleep.

I'm also hoping since the plane ride was so horrible that seeing my Dad won't be. He seemed to be 'well behaved' when he came to see me but I'm still weary.

"Finnick." Ella says when he comes inside. "And my little nephew." She says and blows Nick a kiss. He smiles at her which makes me feel better, even if it is just gas.

"Dad here?" I ask. If the answer is no I will be slightly annoyed.

"He went out to the store, needed something for dinner." She says as we get ushered inside. Finnick sets the car seat down and takes Nick out of it.

"Ell." Nick says and points to Ella.

"Close enough cutie." She says with a smile.

I see Ella's boyfriend is here as well.

"Nathan." I say a little surprised. It's not like I've never met him but I wasn't expecting him.

"Annie." He says and hugs me.

Nathan is the kind of man my Dad wanted me to marry. Nathan is currently in law school and wants to practice environmental law. Being a lawyer would be score number one, but doing it while trying to save the earth is something else entirely. He also comes from a good family, both his parents are doctors and is sister is studying to be one.

"Good to see you." I say.

"Same." He smiles and goes over to talk to Finnick. I see Ella is holding Nick and he isn't crying.

"He's not crying." Ella says and kisses his cheek.

"No he's not." I say and smile surprised.

My Dad comes home a few minutes later.

"Annie." He says and hugs me. Finnick and Nathan are talking about something presumably funny because they are laughing their heads off while Ella keeps kissing Nick causing small giggles to escape his lips.

Ella, myself, and my Dad start making dinner. We would always make dinner as a family. My Mom sometimes would just watch from the family room sipping a glass of wine or vice versa. My Dad opened a bottle of red so everyone can have some. My Dad always liked drinking while cooking. I never understood why.

I don't drink any because the stuff my Dad buys is always so dry. Ella sips some as we cook and Finnck and Nathan drink while in the family room.

Nick is looking at Nathan with worry. I can't tell if Finnick has noticed this or not but if Nick isn't crying he must be alright.

We eat and drink. Some of the conversations are painful awkward between my Dad and Finnick but my Dad is trying. I have to keep reminding myself this. My Dad could've never come to visit me. I would've been fine with that but since he did I should give him a chance.

After dinner my Dad does what he always done when having a dinner party, although Ella and myself are highly a party.

He asks if people want coffee or cognac with their dessert. He wouldn't care if we had something else but I think it's supposed to be eloquent.

He starts with Ella who I know will say coffee because she hates cognac, neither do I. Cognac is a strong alcohol that burns all the way down and not the good kind of burn either.

I don't want either I feel weird drinking coffee at night. Nathan says he's never had cognac so my Dad insists he tries some so he can have 'the best'.

"Finnick?" He asks.

 _Please say no_. I think to myself. He's had lots of wine tonight… a lot of wine. I can tell he's slightly drunk and the alcohol level in cognac is high.

"Sure." He says.

I sigh but I don't think anyone noticed. While my Dad is doling out the drinks I go to put Nick on his baby blanket. He's getting tired. We should probably go to the hotel after dessert.

* * *

"Annie and I got it Dad." Ella says as she starts clearing off the table.

"Oh sweetie I think Finnick and I should go to the hotel, Nick's tired." I say to her.

"I think you can spare twenty minutes." She says and starts to clear away the table. I notice her taking the wine bottles to the trash.

"Doesn't Dad collect those?" I ask.

"Not anymore besides I don't think they're 'fancy' enough." She says and I smile.

I look around the house and didn't realize how much I missed this place. Not my Dad, but this house. This is the place I grew up in. I have many fond memories here.

I smile.

"Right Annie?" Ella says bringing my mind back to the present.

"What?" I ask.

She smirks.

"I said we really got into the wine tonight."

I nod. I see four empty bottles

"Almost four bottles and you don't even seem tipsy." Ella says.

"I didn't have any." I say.

"I only had a glass and a half." She says.

"And Nathan?" I ask.

"He had two." She says. "I wouldn't think Dad would be drinking heavily because you're here." She says.

"What does me being here have to do with drinking?" I ask.

"Good impression, he doesn't want you to think he's a bad person." She says and starts loading the dishwasher. "How's Finnick?" She asks more like whispers. I know she has wanted to ask me this as soon as she saw me, but she won't do it in front of him and since the water is draining out our voices it seems like a good time.

"He's… okay." I say.

"Okay?" She says. I can tell by her voice she wanted more info than that.

"He can't get over the fact he killed someone." I say softly.

"Well that's understanding." Ella says. "But he did it to protect himself and his Mom…right?" She says.

"Yes." I say. If I killed someone, even if it was to save someone I don't think I would ever get over it. I'm still not over getting into a car accident when I was eighteen and that was just a fender bender.

She nods

"Nick is turning one soon you two doing anything special?" She asks steering the conversation away from Finnick.

I shrug.

"Not really. I haven't even thought about it."

Ella looks at me surprised.

"But it's the first one, you should be doing something special." She says.

"Maybe, but it's not like he will remember." I say.

"But you will." She says.

I nod.

"Maybe I'll make a cake." I say and she nods and looks towards the living room. She's looking at our Dad and Finnick and Nathan.

After we finish I tell Finnick we should go. He nods, he looks sick, but I know why it's because he's drunk.

I take Nick who starts to become fussy when I pick him up.

"You're okay baby." I say and kiss his forehead. "Mind if I leave this all here?" I ask and motion towards his rocker.

"That's fine Annie." My Dad says with a smile.

I get Nick settled in his car seat before we head to the car.

"Ann." Ella says as Finnick and I are about to walk outside.

"Yes?" I ask trying not to wake Nick up.

Her eyes linger on Finnick.

"What?" I ask.

"Just make sure you drive." She says.

"I've got it Ella." I say and she nods. "See you guys tomorrow." I say and we leave.

Once Finnick I get back to the hotel I set things up for Nick. Finnick just plops on the bed. By the time Nick is sleeping peacefully I see Finnick has passed out right on top of the covers. His shoes are still on and everything.

I sigh.

I thought I only had one person to take care of. I take off his shoes and place them near the door. I don't bother with the rest he'll probably wake up in the middle of of the night anyways.

"Good night Finnick." I say after I'm ready for bed. I kiss his cheek and turn off the last light.

* * *

I hear faint cries but they soon stop.

I open my eyes and see Finnick is soothing Nick. I look towards the clock and see it's eight in the morning.

"Mommy's awake." Finnick says and kisses the top of his head.

Finnick looks terrible. His eyes are bloodshot and it looks like he didn't sleep at all. He must've gotten up in the middle of the night because he did change into his flannel pajama pants.

"Yes Mommy's awake." I say and reach for him.

I can tell Nick is still tired. He probably doesn't like sleeping somewhere he's never been. I don't like hotels too much either.

I kiss the top of his head.

"You look terrible." I say to Finnick

"Didn't sleep well." He says.

"I bet." I mutter.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing." I say.

"I just had a bad dream." He mumbles.

"I don't think that's all it was." I say trying to sound nice. He's been having nightmares since it all happened.

"What else would it be?" He asks.

"You drank a lot last night Finnick… a lot." I say. I know he drank at least one of those four bottles of wine by himself that is, if Ella was telling the truth about how much everyone else drank. I know she could tell as well. Why else would she make sure I was driving?

"Annie it was a dinner party." He says.

"My Dad making dinner does not make it a party." I say.

"Are you mad?" He asks surprised.

"I don't know." I say. I think disappointed and worried are the right words. "I'm worried about you Finnick."

"I'm fine and since you're so worried that I'm turning into a drunk, I promise I won't drink anything today." He says. I don't think I would be as worried if he didn't have a stage like this after Olivia died. Although he was much better at hiding it then and because I was so depressed then I didn't really care.

"Okay." I say. "I think you should talk about this in therapy." I say softly.

"Annie you don't get to tell me what I can or can't talk about in there." He says slightly angry.

"Alright." I say. I've boughten this up before, not about drinking, but about things I think he should talk about. Although I'm not supposed to figure things out for him he needs to realize it himself.

"Besides I don't feel too great anyways." He says.

"That's because your hungover." I say trying to sound nice./

We go over in a few hours. The more I see my Dad the less awkward it seems to be. I think the day is going well until I see Finnick sneak a drink from one of those baby bottles of vodka you can find in hotel rooms.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty- Four**

After lunch I decided I should visit my Mom. I know she wants to see Nick and she is part of the reason why I came here. Finnick wants to go back to the hotel and take a nap. He still looks terrible. I didn't mention that I say him drinking, but I will later. I want to see if he actually will. I get the feeling he won't which will cause a fight.

I sigh. I don't want to think about that.

"Here we go." I say and stop outside the entrance of the hotel I don't need to go inside.

"Aren't you going to kiss me?" I ask as he's about to open the car door to leave.

He smiles.

"Course." He says and quickly. He doesn't smell like boozes but he was worried I would find out from the way he kissed me.

I nod.

"I'll see you soon." I say and kiss him. "Bye." I say as he steps out of the car. He waves at Nick and heads inside.

* * *

"Annie!" My Mom says before I can even get to her back porch.

"Hi Mom." I say. She helps me bring Nick into the house.

"There's my sweet boy." She says with a smile. "May I?" She asks and holds out her hands ready to take him.

"Yes, but he might cry." I pause. "Although he's been fine with Ella." I say happy. I think he might be getting better although, his Father is another story.

"I understand." She says and takes him. He seems okay. "Is Finnick coming?" She asks.

"No. Finnick was tired, he didn't sleep well last night so he's at the hotel." I say and she nods. "But he might come over later." I say. My Mom loves Finnick so I know she would like to see him.

She nods.

"If not there's always next time." She says and kisses Nick's cheek. "He seems good."

"He does which surprises me." I say and smile at him and he gives me one in return.

"I think the storm has settled." She says.

"I guess." I say. "I'm just glad I have my baby back." I say.

"Thanks to Finnick." She says.

"Yup." I say in a strange tone. "But, he's been having trouble with the fact that he killed someone. He's been having nightmares." I say.

"That's understandable." She says.

I nod.

"I don't know how to talk to him about it though." I say. How can I? I've never killed someone and while my Father and I have never gotten along he would never beat me or steal my son. "And I don't know if his therapist is helping." I say. I can feel my face get hot. I haven't told anyone Finnick's in therapy. I know it's not a bad thing, but I don't think Finnick would like me going around telling everyone.

"You just need to be there for him sweetheart." She says.

"How can I if don't know what he's feeling." I say. Nick reaches his arms at me. I take his small hand and kiss it.

She kisses my cheek.

"Just be there and listen to him sweetie." She says. Which isn't very helpful, maybe if I told her I think Finnick is starting to develop a drinking problem she would have better advice, but I'm not going to tell anyone that because I'm not 100% sure.

I stay there with my Mom and we talk about my work and Nick.

"Nana." He whispers every so often. Which surprises me because he's never really said it before.

"I'm proud of you Annie for trying to fix things up with your father." She says.

I nod.

"It's only been a few days." I say and she hands me Nick as I'm about to leave.

"I'll try and see you tomorrow Mom." I say. Our flight to leave is tomorrow. It's in the late afternoon so I might be able to.

"Okay." She says with a smile and kisses my cheek. "Bye Nicky." She says and kisses him.

"Nana." He says with a smile making my Mother smile widely.

"Let's go baby." I say as we walk outside. "We need to get Daddy for dinner." I say.

"Dada." He says.

"That's right Daddy." I say and get him situated in his car seat.

I drive back to the hotel room and see the room is dark, maybe Finnick got a ride from Ella.

"Finnick?" I say.

I see a figure in the bed, he's still asleep.

I kiss his forehead.

"Finnick." I say and run my fingers through his hair. He doesn't smell like boozes so I think he just fell asleep. "Finnick." I say and kiss his cheek.

He groans and opens his eyes.

"Annie." He says.

"It's me." I say.

"What time is it?" He asks.

"Five." I say.

He nods and turns on the bedside lamp.

"You look better." I say truthfully. His eyes aren't as bloodshot and the dark circles aren't there.

He nods and puts both of his hand on my face while his thumbs graze my cheek bones.

"I love you." He says and kisses the tip of my nose.

"I know." I say.

"Not the response I was hoping for." He says.

"I love you too." I say.

"That's more like it." He says and kisses me.

"We should go if we want to make it to my Dad's house." I say.

He nods and I stand up to pick up Nick who has gotten fussy.

"I want to tell you something." He says and I nod.

He swallows hard.

"You remember last night when I promised not to drink anything." He says. He isn't looking at me. He's looking far off into the distance.

"Yes, I remember." I say.

He swallows hard.

"We might get charged for things from the mini bar." He says softly.

I move his hands off my face so they rest on my shoulders.

"Why are you telling me this?" I ask. Finnick is smart enough to know I would see it show up on the bill so I want to make sure that isn't the only reason.

"Because… I don't like lying to you and because I don't want you to worry at me. I don't want you to think less of me." He says. I lean my forehead against his.

"I know you don't like lying to me." I kiss his cheek. "And I won't think less of you as long as you're honest with me, because I'm awfully worried about you these days." I say.

"I know." He says and wraps his arms around me. "I know and I think you should be." He says so softly I almost didn't hear him even though his lips are almost touching my ear.

"Mmmh. Baba." Nick whimpers, he's hungry.

"Wait till we get to Papa's." I say and pick him up. He leans into me. I'm afraid Nick will just want to sleep. He didn't really get his nap because we were spending so much time with my Mom.

"He's fussy maybe we shouldn't go." Finnick says.

"I'm sure he'll be fine and if he gets to be too much we'll just leave." I say.

Finnick nods and kisses me.

"Let's go." I say and we get in the car for the short drive.

"Annie." My Dad says.

"Hi Dad." I say as he opens the door.

"Annie, Finnick, Nick." He says as we all walk in.

"Dinner smells great." I say.

"It's the roasted chicken you like." He says. The dinner he made last night was one of my favorites as well. I would say he's trying too hard but I don't mind.

"That's great." I say. I see Ella and Nathan in the family room. I think they're filling out a crossword together. I could've never imagined Ella doing a crossword puzzle. She's not stupid or anything but it's…not her.

I put Nick in his rocker and he slowly starts to fall back asleep.

"It's nice to see you again!" Ella almost shouts making Nick moan. "Oh I'm sorry is he sleeping?" She asks and I nod.

No one talks much because Nick is sleeping. I don't feel bad. If you would've told me I would be sitting in my Dad's house a month ago I would be laughing my ass off from how ridiculous it sounded.

Ella and I start to set the table when dinner is almost ready.

"So, how was last night?" Ella asks worried.

"It was fine." I say and she nods.

"I think Nathan is going to propose." She whispers.

I raise my eyebrows.

"What makes you think that?" I ask and look towards the family room. He's reading the paper and seems to be lost in his own little world.

"Why else would Nathan insist on coming with me? I think he wanted to do the whole ask for the blessing type thing." She says.

"Dad would like that." I mutter.

She nods.

"Won't you say yes anyways?" I ask while putting napkins on the plates.

"I don't know. I've never thought about getting married before." She says softly. "What's it like?"

"Being married?" I ask and she nods. "It's not like anything." I say.

She nods. I can tell she is disappointed by this answer.

"If you're not sure don't say yes." I say.

"How will I know?" She asks.

"You'll know." I say.

She sighs.

"I hope so." She mumbles to herself.

Finnick and I did leave early because Nick started becoming fussy and we both could tell he just needed sleep.

I dress Nick for bed and set him in his crib. I kiss his forehead.

"Goodnight cutie." I whisper.

"Hey." I say and sit next to Finnick on the bed.

He nods. I wonder if he will add anything to our previous discussion, but he doesn't.

I wake up in the middle of the night. I roll over and see Finnick is leaning against the headboard. "Finnick?" I ask concerned.

"I'm okay." He says but I can tell from his voice he isn't.

"Okay." I say. He lies down next to me and kisses me and I can taste a whisper of tequila on his lips. "Finnick." I whisper.

"I just couldn't fall asleep." He says.

"So you thought taking a drink would help?" I whisper.

"Yes and it did. It shuts my thoughts off so I can find sleep easier." He says.

"Finnick-" I say in a harsher tone than I meant.

"I'm fine Annie, honest." He says and kisses my forehead.

I don't respond I just close my eyes and listen to his breathing. So is the new nighttime routine wash face, pajamas, brush teeth, and take a couple shots? Because I'm pretty sure that's not healthy.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"How old are you today Nicky?" I ask. "How old?" I ask again with a smile.

He puts out one small finger.

"That's right sweetie that's how old you are." I say and kiss him.

"Here's the cake." Finnick says coming from the kitchen. We made Nick a little cake for him to eat/smush. It's a nice chocolate with blue frosting. Nick will probably get it everywhere but it will look nice for a picture.

Finnick sets it in front of Nick and we take a picture.

"Okay here's your birthday cake baby try it." I say.

He looks curious he's never had cake before. He puts his hand in the frosting and takes it to his mouth.

He giggles and continues to eat.

Finnick is smiling at him.

"He's cute." He says.

I smile and nod.

"You'll be cleaning him up though." I say.

Finnick rolls his eyes.

I can tell Finnick is still having some issues. I don't keep alcohol in the house anymore and Finnick hasn't been sleeping well because of it. I'm pretty sure he has a secret stash somewhere in the house but I can't tell for sure. I'm only thinking this because he seems to brush his teeth endlessly and one day I came home and he was 'asleep' on the couch. Although I know he wasn't sleeping because he smelled of boozes. He was the only one taking care of Nick that day.

"Fine." He says.

I watch Nick eating his cake.

"Mama" He says and points at me.

I smile I can tell he doesn't really want anything.

"Dada." He says and points to Finnick.

Finnick smiles.

Nick evenutally stops playing/eating his cake and starts to get drowsy.

"Come here Nick." Finnick says and takes apart the high chair carefully to ensure Nick's small fingers don't get smashed. "It's bath time." He says.

I hear Nick moan slightly. He doesn't like bath time and he's smart enough now to understand what 'bath time' means even though he can't verbalize it. I can hear Nick start crying when the water starts running, but I don't go upstairs because I know Finnick can take care of him. When the water is office Finnick comes down ten minutes later carrying the baby monitor.

"He asleep?" I ask and Finnick nods.

"That's good." I say.

"Yes it is." He says and kisses my cheek. "Annie, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about." He says.

"What?" I ask as he sits next to me. Is he going to tell me he thinks he has a drinking problem? Or that wants me to go to therapy with him? Or some other third option that I have wanted him to say.

He takes my hand and brings it to his lips.

"What is it Finnick?" I ask now worried.

"I was thinking Nick is one now-"

"I know." I say and smile. Although I get the feeling I know where this conversation is going and I know he won't like the end result.

"And I really think Nick should have a sibling." Finnick says.

"Finnick." I start.

"I know what happened with John was messed up, but it won't happen again. He's dead and no one else will try and take our child away."

He technically doesn't know that, but I'm sure he's correct. I don't think anyone will try and take our hypothetical child away.

"And everything's okay now." Finnick says. I think he's been talking while I've been thinking of the right way to answer this. I know whatever I say will make him angry so I'm going to try and do it as gentle as possible.

"I know everything is... okay now." I say slowly. Finnick looks happy by this response. "But, I don't think you're okay." I say softly. I almost don't want to look at him because he has that confused hurt look on his face right now.

"I'm fine Annie, everything is going back to normal-"

"Finnick, I don't think you're okay." I say softly. Do I want Nick to have a sibling probably, but do I think we should have one right now? No. I'm too worried about Finnick to be able to take care of another child or be pregnant.

"I'm fine." He says again.

"You aren't sleeping and I can tell you're not telling me something." I say as a response.

"I'm not lying to you." He says. "And I'm not sleeping because... well I just can't." He says.

"Are you having nightmares?" I ask.

"No." He says. I know the answer why he isn't sleeping and he knows the answer as well, but I get the feeling neither of us will say it. Finnick can't go to sleep unless he's had some alcohol.

I look at him and he looks back at me. It looks like we are having a staring contest.

"Then what is it?" I ask.

"You know why." He says.

"Finnick you need help." I say gently.

"I'm fine Annie. I thought about taking sleeping pills but knew that wouldn't be a good idea." He says. Well at least he knows that.

"Finnick if you need to rely on some form of drug to fall asleep then you aren't fine. You can't depend on something like that, it's like poison." I say.

"But you don't understand Annie."

"You're right I don't. I don't understand what you're going through, but I do know you need help and I can't help you if you won't let me."

Finnick leans in and kisses my cheek which confuses me.

"I don't think you can help me Annie." He says.

"Well, I'll find someone who can. I just don't want to loose you to some type of poison because I fear one day you might wake up and care about that the most and not me and Nick." I say.

"That won't happen. I'll always care about you and Nick the most." He says.

"Then let me help you so I can make sure." I say.

He closes his eyes and breathes in and out deeply. I know you can't really help a person who doesn't want help, but it's not like I have any other ideas.

He opens his eyes and says "Okay." I can tell from his voice that he doesn't like this, but at least he is trying... or lying.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Finnick seems more open to getting help now, it's been a few months and I can tell he's trying and he seems to be sleeping alright now. He has two therapists now one who specializes in drug addiction/treatment and his usual therapist. He has this white board on the fridge where he is supposed to mark every day he hasn't taken a drink. If he does he has to erase the board and start all over. He's erased it once but at least he is being honest. They gave Finnick some type of pill that would effect the part of his brain that wants him to drink, but it just made him throw up so they decided against that.

"Mommy" Nick says and I pick him up.

"Dinner's almost ready baby." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Daddy?" He asks and looks up at me.

"Daddy will come home soon." I say although he was supposed to be home an hour ago.

I put Nick in his high chair and pull out my phone to call Finnick.

 _Voicemail._ _Redial_. _Voicemail._

"Where are you?" I whisper to myself.

"Mama." I hear.

"I'm coming baby." I say and sit next to him while he eats. I wait another hour before I start to eat something.

Nick falls asleep and I put him in bed.

"Goodnight angel." I whisper and shut his door. I finally felt comfortable enough to let him sleep in his bedroom again.

I go to the family room and sit waiting for the door to open, waiting Finnick to come home. I call him again but nothing. I turn on the television trying to distract me.

I wake up in the middle of the night and am confused because I'm still downstairs. It's two in the morning and I know Finnick would've woken me up if he came home.

I walk upstairs and don't see Finnick in our bed.

"Where are you?" I whisper. I call him again and only get voicemail.

I lie down in bed but don't sleep. I keep expecting him to walk through the door.

I mange a few hours before I hear Nick calling for me.

* * *

When it's nine in the morning I finally hear the door open and see Finnick, who looks terrible. He's still wearing his work uniform and smells of a combination of rotting fish and alcohol.

"Hi." I say not really looking at him.

"Dada." Nick says. He points at Finnick and giggles.

"Hi buddy." Finnick says.

"Finnick." I say and he looks at me. It looks like he is avoiding my gaze as well. "Let's go." I say and motion to the living room so Nick can't hear us if we fight. I'm about to speak, but he does first.

"You look tired." He says.

I was expecting an I'm sorry or an explanation, but no.

"I couldn't sleep. I was worried about you." I say. I don't want to sound accusatory, but it's not like I'm overreacting.

"You don't need to worry I'm fine." He says.

I sigh.

"Finnick where were you last night?" I ask.

"Does it matter?" He asks.

"Yes it matters. You didn't come home. I didn't know where you were. I think I deserve an explanation." I say.

"You're right, but you won't like it." He says softly.

"I already don't like it. You didn't come home. I was worried something terrible happened to you." I say.

He sighs.

"They're laying people off at work."

"And you were one of them?" I ask worried.

"No. I'd call it more of a demotion." He says.

"So you still have a job?" I ask. Finnick is our only source of income at the moment. I have been wanting to go back to work but I don't want to leave Nick. I was going to propose that I could work from home.

"Yes and I didn't want to tell you." He says.

"Finnick, you've known me long enough that you shouldn't be afraid to tell me something." I say gently.

"I'm not afarid." He says and I raise my eyebrows.

"Then why wouldn't you tell me?" I ask.

"Because I didn't want to disappoint you." He says.

"Finnick." I say gently. I am disappointed, not for getting a demotion but because he didn't come home last night. But that doesn't mean I hate him. It just makes me worry about him. "I love you." I say and put my hand on his cheek.

"I love you too." He whispers.

"Are you going to tell me what else happened last night?" I ask.

"Yes." He says softly. He breathes in and out deeply. "I went to a bar and I got drunk." He says. I figured that much out by myself but that doesn't explain why he didn't come home. At least he wasn't dumb enough to drive home, but there are others ways he could've found a way home. There's the most obvious one, he could've called me.

"So where did you sleep or stay?" I say. Bars aren't open twenty-four seven, most close around three or four am. If he went to the bar I think he did. then there's a cheap motel he could've stayed at. It's right next to the bar, I think that motel was built there for that reason.

"In the car." He says. "I couldn't drive home." He says. At least he was smart enough to realize that. If he would've gotten arrested I would be so mad especially since he could've hurt someone.

"You could've called me Finnick." I say or someone else or a company to pick him up. A cab an uber driver someone, but he didn't. He chose to sleep in his car like someone who can't afford an apartment.

"I couldn't." He says.

"You could've." I say and lace my fingers with his. "We used to tell each other almost everything and you couldn't even call me to tell me you needed my help." I say gently.

"Annie-" He say clearly hurt, but it's the truth. I'm the person who loves him most and he couldn't even call me to tell me he needed help. I know why and so does he it's because he knows he did something he shouldn't have.

"Mama." I hear in the kitchen. I walk back into the kitchen and take him out of his highchair.

"Do you want to play Nicky?" I ask. I put him down and he crawls over to his toys. He's really close to walking and I can't wait to see that.

"He always asks for you." Finnick says softly.

"I'm home with him all day Finnick. He calls for you when you're home and sometimes when you're not here." I say. I'm not lying he does call out for Finnick when he's not home, but I think Nick calls out for me more because he knows I'm home.

He nods.

"I love you Annie." Finnick says.

"I know." I say.

"This won't happen again. I just needed to do something because of what happened at work." He says.

"What if something bad happens again? It doesn't have to be related to your job, but just something." I ask.

"I'll talk to you. Okay?" He says.

"Okay." I say. I want to say I don't believe you, but I don't think that will be helpful. I'm supposed to trust him, but how can I when he stays out all night drinking.

"I'm going to take a shower." He says and starts to head upstairs.

"Wait Finnick." I say and he turns around.

"What?" He asks.

"You need to erase the fridge." I say and he sighs. He needs to erase his white board that counts how many days he's been sober. "You need to do it Finnick." I say.

He goes to the kitchen and erases the 115 and replaces it with a zero.

"Happy?" He asks slightly angry.

"No." I say softly. Almost four months of nothing and now it's back to zero days of not drinking.

"Good because neither am I." He says and walks past me to go upstairs.

"Finnick." I whisper and put my hand on the board.

* * *

"Seriously I think I would've moved out of the house by now." My sister Ella says through the phone. It's been a couple days and Ella called me to tell me she is moving closer to me because she got a job out here.

"Ella." I say annoyed.

"What? I wouldn't want him around my one year old when he's flat out drunk." She says.

"He's not flat out drunk. He doesn't drink at home." I say.

"I'm sure that's what he says." She says. "I used to love Finnick, but now..." She trails off.

"Why don't you love him now?" I ask.

"Because of what he's doing to himself and what he's doing to you, like I said I would've left by now.

"This is why the divorce rate is so high." I say annoyed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asks.

"People leave when it gets hard, it's supposed to be death do us part. Besides, you can't say anything unless you're married or in this situation." I say. "Is this why you turned down your marriage proposal ?" I ask. Her boyfriend did propose to her just like she thought and she said no. She said she didn't feel 'it' when he asked so she is now single.

"No, that's not why." She says annoyed.

"Okay." I say.

"You're back at work now, right?" She says changing the subject. I don't like when she talks about Finnick, it's like she no longer approves of our relationship. It's not like Finnick is beating me... he's just sick.

"Yes." I say. I work at home now since Finnick got a pay cut.

"How's that?" She asks.

"Great. I didn't realized how much I missed it." I say. I like being a Mom, but it's nice to do something other than take care of Nick twenty four seven. He doesn't need me all day either. I usually end up watching television for a few hours so I can replace t.v. time for manuscript reading time.

"That's nice at least you get to stay home and work." She says.

"It is." I say. I don't think I would've gone back to work if I couldn't stay home with Nick. I don't want anyone else looking after Nick.

"As much as sister catch up was I also called to ask for a favor." She says.

"And what favor would this be?" I ask.

"I need help moving stuff into my apartment and was wondering if you would help me." She says.

"You want me to help you do some heavy lifting?" I ask with a laugh. It's not like I will be able to move a bed upstairs.

"Well, you can help with some things." She says. Although I really know who she wanted help from and it's not me.

"You wanted Finnick to help." I say and it isn't a question.

"Maybe." She says.

"Really?" I say slightly angry. She just told me I should leave him and now she's asking for his help.

"Yeah." She says.

"Didn't you just say you thought I should leave him because he's a flat out drunk." I say.

"Well... this is different." She says.

"Yes it's different because you just want his help. After we're finished helping you, you'll just say I should leave him again." I say.

"Annie-"

"Just hire someone." I say.

"I didn't really mean it." She says but I can tell she's lying. She's terrible at it just like myself.

"Yes you did." I say.

"I'm strapped for cash Annie and movers are expensive." She says.

"Well figure something else out then. You can't insult my husband and then expect his help." I say.

"You know I'm not the only person who thinks you should leave him. I'm just the first one to say it to you." She says.

"I don't care what Dad thinks." I say knowing this is who she is talking about. I may have made up with him, but his opinion still doesn't mean that much to me.

"It's not just Dad, Carter thinks so too." She says.

I only told Ella about this. I told her to keep it on the down low, apparently I should've said don't tell anyone. I had to talk to someone about it and I thought my sister would be the perfect person, but it looks like I'm wrong.

"Well, you could've told him anything." I say. She likes to be over dramatic in her story telling, but Carter's opinion does matter because he is married and has a cute little girl.

"I just told him the truth. Finnick doesn't come home and stays out all night." She says.

"That happened once." I defend.

"It will probably happen again and again Annie." She says.

I hear the door open which means Finnick's home from work.

"Hi little man." Finnick says and picks Nick up. "Guess what Daddy did at work." He says and takes Nick from the room.

"No it won't, you shouldn't say that Ella." I say.

"What are you going to do, stop talking to me like you did Dad?" She says.

"I just want you to apologize." I say.

"I don't have anything to apologize for." She says.

I see Finnick and Nick come back and see Nick is holding a stuffed penguin that has a zoo uniform. They must've gotten new things for the gift shop and usually some of the workers get to take them home.

"Then I guess I don't have anything else to say." I say.

"I'll call you when you see it then." She says and the phone line goes dead.

"Who's that?" Finnick asks.

"It was Ella." I say.

He nods.

"She's moving here this week, right?" He asks.

"Yup." I say.

"You should ask her if she needs help." He says and kisses Nick's cheek causing Nick to giggle.

I smile. I like when Finnick is like this. It's the Finnick I fell in love with and not someone struggling with personal problems.

"She doesn't. I asked when she was on the phone." I say which isn't a lie.

He nods.

"Does Nick have a new friend?" I ask because he is playing with the stuffed penguin Finnick just gave him.

Finnick smiles.

"There are new toys for the gift shop. it was either Leo the lion or Peter the penguin."

"Of course you would get the penguin." I say.

"You know me too well." He says and kisses my cheek. "Did he walk again?" Finnick asks.

"Finnick I don't think standing up and falling down counts as walking." I say which is what happened and he started crying once he fell down.

"Yes it does." Finnick says.

I smile.

"I love you." I say.

Finnick looks at me strangely but smiles.

"I love you too." He says and kisses my cheek.

I make dinner while Finnick tries to get Nick to walk by himself. After dinner Finnick changes the two on the fridge to a three.


	27. One Year Later

**One Year Later**

"Let's go baby." I say and put out my hand for Nick to hold.

"Mommy we see Nana?" He asks.

"That's right we're going to see Nana." I say. It's Christmas time and we are going to visit my Mom. The only down side about this is Ella is going to be there. I've talked to her, but she still doesn't believe me when I say Finnick is alright. She's just waiting for him to get drunk and fall down.

"Daddy?" He asks.

"Daddy's coming later." I say.

Finnick got his job back, well actually he got a better job, he's now a department head. Finnick's been doing really well. I'm so proud of him. It's been almost a year of him not drinking. He's had a few slip ups, but he seems to have gotten better. The fridge says 350 days it's going to be a year soon.

Finnick needs to get a later flight because he has some meeting he needs to do for his job. Finnick said we should go early because I don't see my Mom as much as I would like. I agreed with some convincing because I don't like flying much and flying with Nick... well let's just say that's a job on it's own, but it's only a few hours so I can suck it up.

* * *

The flight wasn't so bad Nick surprisingly slept through most of it making me happy that I didn't get judgy stares.

I call my Mom to tell her someone can pick me up.

"I'm at the airport." I say.

"Carter left around ten minutes ago he should be there soon." She says.

"Thank you." I say. I'm glad it's Carter and not Ella because because she doesn't approve of Finnick anymore. We still talk just not as much and there is always tension in the conversation.

"See you soon sweetie." She says.

"See you soon Mom." I say.

Around ten minutes later I get a text from Carter.

I get into the car and Nick starts moaning when I put him in his car seat. He was still fast asleep.

"Hello Annie." He says.

"Hi Carter. I say and get in the car.

"How was the flight?" He asks.

"Alright, Nick slept through most of it so that made it easier." I say.

He smiles.

"I know what you mean, I love when Madeline sleeps through a plane ride. Although since she's older it's probably not as bad." He says.

I smile.

"Is Finnick coming in tomorrow?" Carter asks.

"He should make it tonight." I say.

"Mmh." I hear from the backseat.

"He's fussy." Carter notes.

"We'll be home soon so I can give him something to eat." I say.

"Do you think about having another?" He asks.

"Finnick and I have discussed it briefly. The answer is yes, we just haven't discussed the when." I say.

He nods.

"Well, Nick's only two." Carter says. "Tony and I want Madeline to have a sibling."

"Really?" I say surprised.

"Really, we're just waiting." He says.

"How long have you been waiting?" I ask.

"Not that long." He says and I nod.

"How's Finnick?" He asks. I know he wanted to ask this as soon as I got in the car.

"He's really great. He got a better job." I say.

"I know you told me." He says.

I nod.

"You're going to see him tonight then you can make your own decision." I say knowing why he is really asking.

"Annie I wasn't implying-"

I raise my eyebrows.

"Okay maybe I was a little, but Ella tells stories." He says.

"Exactly _stories_ we aren't as close Carter, even though she lives twenty minutes from my house." I say.

"I think if you and Ella just sat down in a room everything would be fine between the two of you, you did make up with Dad after all." He says.

"I know, but this is different." I say.

"I guess." He says as we pull into my Mom's drive way.

We get out of the car and Carter helps me collect my things.

We get inside and I don't see anyone. I take Nick out of his carrier and rub his back, he's still sleeping, but not very deeply.

"Where is everyone?" I ask Carter softly.

"Probably upstairs, Mom painted." He says.

"Okay." I say and in a few minutes they come down.

"Annie." Ella says louder than I would've liked causing Nick to wake up.

"Mommy?" He says confused.

"That's right sweetie." I say.

He sits up on my lap and smiles and points at my Mom.

"Nana." He says.

My Mom smiles.

"Come here sweetie." She says and takes him from me. She kisses his cheek and he giggles and hugs her. "Nana." He says again.

"Annie." Ella says and smiles. "Finnick not coming?" She asks a little too happily.

"He'll be here later." I say.

"Oh." She says.

I nod.

"Aunt Annie!" Madeline says as she sees me.

"Hi cutie." I say.

Madeline cuddles up next to me while my Mom plays with Nick who seems very excited to see her. I'm surprised he's not angry because he just woke up. He's being a good boy which I am fond of. Although his new favorite word is no.

* * *

Mom starts making dinner and I help her.

"What are you making?" Ella asks.

"That stir fry you like." She says and Ella nods. "I set aside plain noodles for Nick." She says.

"Thank you." I say.

"No problem sweetie." She says.

"Is Finnick going to be here for dinner?" Ella asks.

"He should be." I say.

Ella nods

"Should we have alcohol out because Finnick is here?" Ella asks.

Mom looks at me then back to Ella.

"Annie said he would be fine." She says. Mom did call to ask this which I thought was nice. Finnick was okay when he went to his Mom's for thanksgiving and for his family thanksgiving most of the family gets drunk. Finnick was alright although he did step outside at one point, but he was fine and I know he didn't drink anything because I was with him.

"He's fine Ella." I say.

She rolls her eyes and goes to the family room.

"He really is fine Mom." I say.

"I know, I believe you." She says and hugs me.

"Then why doesn't Ella?" I ask.

"I don't know it's not like she's ever had this happen to her." She says. "Annie-"

"It's fine Mom." I say knowing she thought she just offended me.

She nods.

"When did you say Finnick's flight would get in?" She asks.

"He should be calling me any minute." I say.

She nods.

"You know they have alcohol on planes." Ella says coming back into the kitchen.

"Ella what is wrong with you?" Carter asks.

"I'm just worried that's all."

I get a phone call thirty minutes later from Finnick.

"Can I take your car to pick him up Mom?" I ask.

"Of course sweetie and don't worry I've got Nick." She says.

I smile.

"I know you do." I say.

"Mommy." Nick says as I'm about to leave.

"I'll be right back baby. I'm going to get Daddy." I say.

"Okay." He says. I kiss him

"Bye baby." I say and leave.

The drive to the airport seems longer than usual, maybe it's because it's almost Christmas and everyone is going to pick up their family.

I call him.

"I'm here Finnick." I say.

"Okay, I'm coming." He says and within five minutes he spots the car and gets in. He leans in and kisses me. "Hey." He says.

"Hi." I say and start the car.

"Nick with your Mom?" He asks.

"He's with the whole gang actually." I say and he smiles.

"Good." He says.

"So how was the meeting thingy?" I ask.

"The thing went well, very well things after the new year are going to be excellent." He says.

"Okay." I say.

"How were you on the flight?" He asks.

"Good, Nick slept most of the way." I say.

"I bet you liked that." Finnick smiles.

"As a matter of fact I did." I say.

We drive in silence for a bit.

"How's Ella?" He asks.

I keep my eyes on the road to avoid the question.

"That bad?" Finnick asks.

I sigh.

"I don't care Annie, but I would like to know what I'm walking into." He says.

"She's probably going to be making comments and studying you." I say.

He nods.

"Are we seeing your Dad when we're here?" He asks.

"Maybe." I say.

We make back to my Mom's just in time for dinner. Finnick greets everyone and it seems like Ella is glaring at Finnick all throughout dinner. I think she sat across from him just for that purpose.

"How's the zoo Finnick?" Ella asks.

"It's fine. I actually have something for you Madeline." Finnick says with a smile.

"Do you think he got me a pet monkey Papa." She asks. Finnick always offers them a private tour if they ever visit us, but they never have and I don't blame them they live in Colorado which isn't the closest to New York. It's on the opposite side of the country, but the offer always stands.

"I really doubt that Madeline." Tony says and she pouts.

Finnick got her a stuffed animal monkey though which she loves.

"There's more for Christmas." Finnick says.

"Thank you Uncle Finnick." She says.

"You're welcome cutie." He says.

Ella smiles and I can tell it's genuine.

A few hours later Carter, Tony, and Madeline leave for their hotel.

"I'm going to put Nick to sleep." Finnick says and kisses me. "I might go with him." He says and I nod.

"Goodnight then." I say and he picks Nick up and takes him upstairs for bed.

It's just Ella and my Mother then.

Ella smiles at me.

"He seemed nice." Ella says.

"Nice?" I say confused.

"Yeah... nice. Do you not like that choice of word?" She says.

"Ella." My Mom says. "Finnick has always been kind and nice." She says which makes me smile.

"Not always." She says.

I sigh.

My Mom leaves to go to bed or more likely to get away from us.

"Why do you hate Finnick so much?" I ask.

"I don't hate him I just don't trust him." She says.

"Why don't you trust him?" I ask.

"Because he betrayed you." She says.

"It's not like he cheated on me Ella." I say. "Unless you know something I don't." I tease.

"I would tell you right away if that happened. I just wouldn't trust Finnick around alcohol." She says.

"If he says he's alright then I trust him Ella. Why can't you? He's not even your husband." I say.

"Because I don't want him to hurt you." She says.

"Ella. He isn't going to hurt me, just forget about everything that has happened and think about all the good Finnick has done for us or just me."

She sighs.

"When you put it like that I might just believe you, but Finnick is going to have to prove himself to me. You may be convinced, but I'm not." She says.

"Well, it's a good thing he doesn't need to convince you." I say and walk upstairs.

I lay down next to Finnick and wrap his arm around my waist.

He kisses the back of my head.

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love you too." I say. "Did Nick go down okay?" I ask and hold his hand.

"Yes. Although I think we were wrong about his new favorite word." He says.

"What it's not no?" I say with a smile.

"No, I think it's 'again'."

"How many times did you read the story to him?" I ask with a smile.

"Only once, but that didn't stop the 'again Daddy again!' the best part was that after I said no he had the Annie pout."

"What is the Annie pout?" I say but I know what he means. When Nick scrunches his eyebrows and sticks out his bottom lip it does resemble a fake Annie pout.

"You know what it is." He says and kisses the back of my head again.

"I guess I do." I say.

"You guess?" He says with a chuckle.

"Alright I'm familiar with it." I say.

"Much better." He says.

"I'm sorry about Ella." I whisper.

"Don't be. You and I can't control what she does, I just have to accept that." He says.

"They tell you that in thearpy?" I ask.

"Possibly." He says. I turn over so I can see his face. I kiss his lips.

"That's good." I say.

He nods.

"Finnick did you get me a Christmas present?" I ask.

"Yes." He says slightly confused.

I nod.

"Why did you not get me one?" He asks with a smile and I roll my eyes.

"I did, but I didn't really buy anything." I say.

"That's okay I love those DIY things." He says and I roll my eyes. "I didn't buy you anything fancy if that is why you're worried." He says.

"No, I just didn't want you to feel cheated." I say although I think Finnick will like this 'present' very much. I think it's rather lucky that it happened around this time of year.

"Don't worry Ann I won't." He says and kisses me and I close my eyes and find sleep.

* * *

"It's never going to be like before." I say to Carter referring to Ella. She spent the night at our Dads she always does when she is in town.

Carter starts mixing the cookie batter. It's Christmas Eve so Carter is mixing the cookie batter that Madeline will be decorating for Santa. She won't be the only one, but that is the main reason we are doing this.

"What?" He asks confused.

"Ella and I." I say. "Even if we do makeup it won't be the same." I say. I thought it wouldn't be the same after what happened with John, but that didn't effect our relationship at all. Her harping on Finnick and suggesting he isn't a good Father is bothersome though. Finnick's a great Dad and a great husband. He's the best and I know if I was in Finnick's situation he wouldn't leave me.

"You don't know that, look at you and Dad now." He says.

"That relationship is different as well." I say. "And that might be for the better." I say.

"I get that, I do, but Ella is different from Dad." He says.

"I know, but something won't be right, the closeness." I say as he hands me the spatula to lick I'm about to, but stop.

"What?" He asks.

"I shouldn't, raw egg." I say and put it back in the bowl.

"Since when has that stopped you." He says with a smirk.

"I just don't want Nick to do it." I say.

"He's not even here Nick and Finnick went to the park with Tony and Madeline." He says.

"I know, but I should practice just like when you need to stop saying bad words in front of them." I say.

"You don't even swear that much, nor does Finnick" He says and licks the spatula.

"Still I don't want to do it in front of my two year old." I say.

"This is true. Did you get presents for Madeline?" He asks.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because we didn't buy anything for Nick." He says.

I roll my eyes.

"He's two he's not going to care as long as he gets something." I say. "And if you're so concerned just label ours from Santa." I say.

"Tony could-"

"Carter." I say.

"Alright jeez." He says and I smile. "We did get you and Finnick gifts though." He says.

"We got you stuff for you as well." I say.

"Now here comes the real question-"

"I got stuff for Dad." I say.

"I was going to ask if you got something for Ella." He says.

"I did." I say. "I got her an an antique sewing box." I say.

"She'll like that." Carter says surprised.

"I know, that's why I got it for her." I say.

"What if she didn't get anything for you?" He asks.

"Christmas isn't about the gifts, remember." I say.

He rolls his eyes.

"But, it will look bad and I can guarantee she didn't get anything for Finnick." He says.

"She could've just gotten a cook book or something and say to Annie and Finnick." I say and we hear the door open.

"No. No. No. No." I hear Nick say.

"You're right that is his favorite word." Carter says.

I roll my eyes. Even though Nick sometimes says no he doesn't always mean no.

"Here's Mommy." Finnick says and lets him walk towards me.

"Hi baby." I say and pick him up.

"Mommy I cold." He says

"I know, but Mommy can warm you up." I say and take off his jacket and little boots. "Here we go sweetie." I say and get him a blanket to snuggle under.

"Mommy." He says and leans against me. He hugs my waist and starts to doze off.

* * *

"Mommy?" Nick holds out his cookie.

"It's beautiful sweetie." I ask knowing that is what he was asking. "But, you're making a mess." I say and clean up the sprinkles that are getting everywhere.

"No." He says.

I kiss the top of his head

"Make more cookies for Santa." I say and he nods.

Madeline is more careful but Nick seems to just like throwing sprinkles everywhere. He's only two and Finnick and I are helping him, but he is very... abstract.

"I think that's enough Nicky." I say and Finnick picks him up and helps Nick wash his hands.

Ella comes in and is holding boxes.

"What are those?! What are those?!" Madeline asks excited and hops off her chair.

"Presents for tomorrow." She says.

Madeline claps her hands and smiles.

"These two are for you." She says and puts the rest under the tree.

Madeline goes to investigate the presents Ella just brought over.

"One from Dad and one from me." She explains before Carter can object to her for buying Madeline two gifts.

He nods.

"I got something for Nick too." She says and I nod.

"He'll like that." I say. "I got stuff for you." I say.

"I got stuff for you too." She says.

Ella presses her lips together.

"I got something for Finnick too." She says hurriedly as if she just blurted out some big secret.

"It's not something inappropriate?" I ask thinking of all the things she could get that are horrible.

She shakes her head.

"I care about you and I love my little nephew." She smiles. "And I still like Finnick, but excuse me if I don't have as much faith as you do." She says and walks away.

"She's trying." I hear Carter whisper.

"I guess." I whisper. "I'll make that decision when I see what she got for him." I say and he nods.

* * *

"Finnick." I whisper on Christmas morning and kiss his cheek.

He smiles. He's still sleepy, but I think we both know Nick will be up soon.

"Merry Christmas." He says.

"Merry Christmas." I say back and kiss him. "Finnick I got you a present that I want you to open up in private." I whisper. I know once we all wake up present time will begin and it will get crazy.

"Is it inappropriate then?" He smirks.

"Just open it will you." I say and kiss him.

He smiles.

"If you insist." He says. It seems like he it is taking forever to open it, but I know that's only because of what his reaction will be.

He looks up at me with a mixture of excitement and confusion.

"Is this what I think it is?" He asks.

I nod.

"I'm pregnant." I say. I wrapped up one of the pregnancy tests I took. I took more than one to make sure it was positive. Finnick and I weren't trying we were just having sex. I was surprised because it seemed to take forever to get pregnant with Nick, a little over a year, but with Olivia it was only a few months. I guess it doesn't things happen at their own time.

Finnick hugs me and kisses me. "We weren't even trying." He says. "Are you okay though?" He asks worried.

"Yes, why?" I ask confused. I was worried about his reaction.

"Because you said you didn't want another baby yet because-"

"I'm not worried about you so much anymore." I say. Which is true I'm not as worried because he's been sober almost a whole year and doesn't seem to be struggling as much.

"Okay." He says and kisses me. "Do you know how far along you are?" He asks.

"Couple weeks." I say.

Finnick kisses me again.

"Nicky's going to be a big brother." Finnick says.

"Yeah." I say with a smile. "He is."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

"Mommy lookit." Nick says and points to the cookie plate. The plate that held all the Santa cookies. Which Finnick, myself, and my Mom ate.

"Yup Santa came." I say and kiss him.

He giggles

"We have to wait for a little bit to open your presents though."

"No." He says.

"You have to wait baby." I kiss his forehead. "Let's have breakfast." I say.

"Hi Nana." He says while walking towards the kitchen.

She smiles and picks him up.

"Did you see that Santa came?" She asks and kisses his cheek.

He nods.

"That's because you're a good boy."

"No." Nick says and smiles.

"Yes you are, you're a good boy." My Mom says and keeps kissing his cheek which makes him giggle.

"Can you put the coffee on Annie?" My Mom asks and I nod. "I think with all the extra people it is best to start early." She says.

"Okay." I say and head to the kitchen. I see Finnick is there peeling an orange.

I kiss his cheek.

"Did you put out his presents?" I ask softly.

"Yes." He says.

"Even the Santa ones?" I ask.

"Yes." He kisses my cheek.

"You didn't sign them did you?" I ask worried.

He smiles.

"He can't even read Annie, I doubt he will notice the handwriting is similar. " He says.

I roll my eyes and start making the coffee.

"You drinking coffee?" He asks.

"No, making some for the heard of people that will be coming." I say and he smiles.

"Good because you're not really supposed to."

"I know." I say and kiss him.

"Yuck." I hear Nick say. My Mom is still holding him.

"Don't you like when you get Mommy's kisses?" I tease. "Don't you like them?" I ask and take him from my Mom and kiss him.

He smiles.

"Mommy." He says.

"Let's get you breakfast." I say and put him down, but he doesn't stay he scurries to the living room and sits underneath the tree.

I get him cereal, applesauce, and milk. I could give him something special for breakfast because it's Christmas morning, but I don't want to give him some sugary pancakes that will make him bounce off the walls all day. He will already be bouncing off the walls from all the excitement and new presents he will be getting.

"Nick come here breakfast is ready." Finnick says.

"Daddy-"

"Come on sweetie you need to eat to become a big boy." I say.

He growls with frustration.

"Don't make me count." I say which makes him come over. The whole count to three thing really does work for some reason. "There we go." Finnick says.

Nick starts eating slowly.

"When are them comin'?" He asks.

"Soon buddy." Finnick says and sits next to him.

"Just eat your breakfast baby." I say and he nods.

Within an hour Ella comes.

"Merry Christmas." She says while coming in she has snowflakes laced in her hair. She goes right to the coffee.

"Merry Christmas." Almost everyone says in unison.

She comes to the kitchen and places a container on the counter.

"What's that?" Mom asks.

"Eggnog; Pop Pops." She says.

"You want us to drink Pop Pops eggnog this early in the morning?" I say surprised. Our grandfather always puts rum in his eggnog. I always wanted it when I was a kid, but man when I was allowed to have a taste when I was sixteen I wasn't as excited anymore. It is very strong.

"It is Christmas." She smiles.

"You can put it in the fridge for later. I will want your help for dinner and I don't want you to be asleep. For now just drink coffee you can add nutmeg if you wish." She says and goes to the living room where Nick and Finnick are.

"Carter coming soon?" She asks.

"Mom got a text from him saying they were on the way." I say.

"I'm surprised they got Madeline to wait this long." Ella says.

"They went out for breakfast." I say.

"What place is open on Christmas?" She asks.

"24 hour places." I say.

She nods.

"Dad wants to see you today." She says.

"I talked to Dad the other day and he said it was alright if I came the day after Christmas." I say.

"Well, that's not what he told me this morning." She says.

"I'll call him later then." I say. I wanted to spend Christmas just at one place. I thought it would be easier for Nick.

"Alright." She says and sips her coffee and heads to the other room.

She sits next to Nick and smiles.

"Hi cutie." Ella says.

He nods.

"Did you see that Santa came?" She asks.

"Cause I was a good boy." Nick says and smiles.

"Yes you are." She says and kisses him.

I go to the living room to sit next to Nick.

"Mommy." He says and motions towards the tree.

"Almost sweetie." I say and kiss the top of his head.

"Why?" He whines.

"Why don't we watch some t.v." I say avoiding the questing. I place him in front of the television, luckily his favorite show is on.

When the show is over Carter, Tony, and Madeline are here.

"Look at the tree." Madeline says and sits next to Nick.

They smile and look at the presents. After a few minutes of this my Mom and Carter start to divvy out the presents to the right people.

"Okay you can open in three... two... one." Tony says and people start opening. Finnick and I need to help Nick with most of his presents, but it doesn't matter. I love the look on his face.

* * *

"Mommy can you help me?" Nick asks because he needs assistance putting together one of his new toys.

"Why don't you play with another one while I set this up, okay?" I say and kiss the top of his head.

He nods.

"Why are all the pieces so small." I mutter to myself.

Finnick sits next to me.

"Whatcha doing?" He asks with a smile on his face.

"Trying to put together one of Nick's new toys." I say.

Finnick smiles.

"You would think a children's toy would be set up already." I say.

"Do you want me to do it?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"No, because that would mean defeat." I say.

Finnick chuckles.

"Okay, but you can get me when you're too frustrated."

I shake my head.

After thirty minutes of fighting with the toy I finally get it set up.

"Okay Nicky I got it." I say proud of myself.

He claps his hands and runs over to me.

"Thank you Mommy." He says and hugs me.

"You got sprinkles on your face baby." I say.

"Daddy let me eat a cookie." He smiles.

I nod.

"Let's clean you up before you play." I say. I don't want him to get his new toy all sticky. "There we go." I say after I've washed his hands and face.

"Can I play?" He asks.

I nod.

"You can play now." I say and he runs to the living room.

By the time it is mid day Nick is lying his head on my lap and sleeping. I think Finnick let him eat one too many cookies. At least he got sleepy instead of hyper. I keep rubbing his back.

Everyone expect my Mom is in the living room. She is in the kitchen and has started to make dinner.

"What are you drinking?" Finnick asks Ella and Carter.

"Eggnog." Ella says. "It has milk, cream, eggs, nutmeg, sugar, and rum." Ella smiles. "Want some?" She asks with a strange smile.

"I'm fine" Finnick says. He surprisingly doesn't sound annoyed. I think I would be. It's not like Ella suddenly forgot he has a drinking problem.

"Can I get some help please!" Our Mother shouts from the kitchen.

Finnick goes first, then Tony.

"Not going to help Annie?" Ella asks.

Nick's head is on my lap so if I would get up it would wake him, which I don't want.

"I've got Nicky." I say.

"Right." She says and gets up to help out.

Carter opens his mouth about to say something, maybe about Ella asking if Finnick wanted a drink, but honestly I don't really care anymore. And I'm tired of people asking me about this.

"Leave it alone Carter." I say before he can add his two cents.

He smiles.

"I wasn't saying anything." He says and I roll my eyes.

"Course not." I say.

I run my fingers through Nick's hair.

"Mmmmh Mommy." He moans.

"You're okay sweetie." I whisper and kiss the top of his head. He looks up at me and kisses me then crawls on my lap. "Are you having a good Christmas baby?" I ask him as he wraps his arms around my neck. He nods.

"You?" He asks.

"Of course sweetie." I say and he leans into my chest. "Mommy loves you." I say and rub his back. He nods against my chest. "Dinners going to be soon baby." I say.

After dinner I pull out my phone to call Dad. If Ella was telling then truth then he is expecting me.

"Annie, Merry Christmas." He says.

"Merry Christmas Dad." I say.

"What can I do you for?" He says.

"Ella said you wanted me to come over tonight and I thought-"

"I'm seeing you tomorrow Annie." He says.

"Good that's good." I say.

"Did she tell you about Mimi and Pop Pop?" He asks.

"No, what about them?" I ask.

"They're going to be here tomorrow and they'd love to meet their nephew." He says.

"Of course, that's fine." I say.

"Anything else darling?" He asks.

 _You're over selling yourself_ I think to myself, either that or he's been drinking.

"See you tomorrow Dad." I say.

"That's right, love you Annie." He says.

"Love you Dad." I say and hang up.

"You okay?" Finnick asks me as I come to the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say.

"Who did you call?" He asks.

"My Dad."

"He still okay to see us tomorrow?" He asks.

"Yeah and apparently my grandparents are going to be there. They're excited to meet Nick." I say.

"Who wouldn't be." He says and kisses my cheek. "But, you haven't seen them in awhile, do you think you'll be okay?" He asks.

"Do you?" I ask back.

* * *

"Calm down Nicky." I say as we get him situated in the plane seat. We have almost a whole new bag of luggage from all the presents Nick got. He didn't get that many it's just the size of the presents he got. We knew what he was getting so we were prepared.

"You okay?" Finnick asks when the plane takes off.

"Headache." I say. I always get them on planes.

He nods.

"Mommy what's that?" Nick asks.

"When your head hurts." I say feeling stupid. I need to work up better explanations especially since he seems to love asking those four 'w' questions.

He nods and squeezes his teddy bear.

"I don't like it." He whispers and holds Finnick's hand.

"You'll be okay baby." I say.

Probably twenty minutes into the flight Nick seems more comfortable. I think it is because he is coloring. Nick seems to be engaged in his coloring book so I think it's safe to talk to Finnick about what happened at my Dad's.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"Talk about what?" He asks.

"Mimi." I say.

He rolls his eyes.

"The first time I met her she said I was stupid because I was good looking which also met I just wanted to 'sin' with you. I wasn't surprised." He says.

Ella lying to Carter is fine because he can tell the she's lying, but Mimi is old and racist, and homophobic, really just plain offensive. It didn't help that Ella planted the seed that Finnick was a drunk. Let's just say dinner was uncomfortable for everyone, well except Nick. He seemed to be oblivious on what was going around him. Pop Pop seemed happy to meet him, Mimi did in her own way. She didn't treat him poorly unlike how she treats Carter. Mimi doesn't even want to see Madeline because she isn't really 'his' child.

"So you're okay?" I ask.

He nods and kisses my forehead.

"I'm okay." He says. "And it didn't ruin the trip." He says. I was thinking that because we left after lunch the next day. We got to see my Mom one last time so at least the last memory wasn't Mimi yelling at us.

"Good." I say and kiss him.

"So when is your first doctor appointment?" He asks.

"Oh." I say and place my hand on my stomach. "In a week, it's really just to confirm some things." I say.

He nods.

"How do you think we should tell him?" He asks and motions to Nick.

"I think we should wait for a bit. I don't think he would understand if something bad happened. I don't even know if he will understand the term big brother." I say. Finnick nods.

"Why do you always think something bad is going to happen?" He asks me.

"I've always been a worrier." I say.

"Yes you have." He smiles.

"What are you talking about?" I hear Nick ask.

"How much we love you." Finnick says.

"I love you." He says and goes back to coloring.

I lean my head against Finnick's shoulder.

"You're not worried about me are you?" Finnick whispers after awhile.

"Of course not." I say. "Why?" I ask.

"Because everyone else seems to be." He says.

"The only person that matters is me." I say.

He nods.

"You know that, right?" I ask.

"I know." He says and kisses my forehead. "And I love you."

"Good because so do I. So does he." I say and motion towards Nick.

"I know." He says.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

"Nicky, Daddy and I want to tell you something." I say while Nick is sitting on Finnick's lap.

"What?" He asks and looks up at me.

"You're going to be a big brother." I say and kiss his cheek. I'm not entirely sure if he understands what that means but we want to tell him.

"Do you know what that means?" Finnick asks him softly.

He shakes his head.

"No." He says.

"It means that Mommy is gonna have a baby. We're going to have someone else to love." I say.

"Baby?" Finnick asks.

"Yes." I say.

"Where?" He asks.

"They're in Mommy's tummy." He says.

"In your tummy?" He asks confused. He looks up at me.

I nod.

He puts his hand on my tummy.

"I don't see them?" He asks.

"You will soon." I say and kiss the top of his head.

Finnick and I will find out if it's a girl or boy at my next doctors appointment. It's been almost four months and based on the 'date of conception' Nick and his younger sibling will have their birthdays close together. Which is supposedly good luck. I just think about the parties and cakes they will have to share.

"Are they small Mama?" He asks.

Finnick kisses the top of his head.

"Yes, they're small." I whisper.

He nods.

"I wanna... I wanna" He says and furrows his brow making him look like Finnick.

"What do you want?" Finnick asks.

He shakes his head confused.

I kiss the top of his head.

"You can go play sweetie." I say.

He nods, but looks confused.

"Do you have a question baby?" I ask him. He shakes his head and goes to his toys.

"What do you think that was?" I whisper to Finnick.

He shurgs.

"No idea."

* * *

"Mommy I don't feel good." Nick comes up to me when I'm making notes for work.

"Let me see baby." I say and put my hand on his forehead. He feels hot. "Come here sweetie." I say and take his hand. I don't really like picking him up anymore because my back already hurts from being pregnant.

He coughs.

I wonder if this is why he was acting a little weird last night.

"Come with Mommy." I say and take him to the bathroom. I take his temperature and after some fighting get some medicine in him.

He sniffles.

"You should lie down sweetie." I say and put him to bed. He should fall asleep from the medicine, it is suppose to make him drowsy.

"Mama." He whispers

"Here's teddy. He'll make you feel better." I say and tuck him in the bed. He nods. I kiss his forehead and leave the room.

"Mommy!" I hear him shout an hour later.

"What's wrong?" I ask and hurry into his room. I see he got sick on himself.

"Come here." I say and lift him off the bed and take him to the bathroom.

"You're really hot baby." I say worried. I take his temperature, but he it isn't alarming he's just sick.

He gets sick again.

I kiss his forehead.

"Stay here sweetie." I say and kiss his cheek. I need to change the bed sheets and get a new outfit for him.

"Mommy." I hear again.

I go back to the bathroom. He looks okay.

"What's wrong baby?" I ask but he doesn't say anything. I kiss his cheek. "Give Mommy a few minutes and then you can go back to bed." I say and kiss his forehead.

I change his sheets and get him a new outfit.

"Here we go baby." I say and hear the phone ring.

"Mama." He says.

"I'll be right back sweetie." I say.

"Mommy." He says and reaches for me.

"I'll be right back baby." I say again.

It's Finnick. I look to the clock and see it is his lunch break.

"Hello?" I say.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing." I say.

"You have that voice." He says.

I sigh.

"Nick's just sick." I say.

"Do you want me to come home early and help take care of him?" He asks.

"No, I got it Finnick." I say and hear Nick call out for me again. "I gotta go, he's calling for me." I say.

"Tell him I love him." Finnick says.

"I will." I say.

"I love you too." He says.

"I love you, bye Finnick." I say and walk to Nick's room.

"What's wrong sweetie?" I ask.

He coughs and reaches for me. I take his small hand and bring it to my lips.

"I'll stay with you baby." I say. I think that is what he wants. He just doesn't know what to ask, either that or he is just confused. He is only two.

I imagine this happening with two kids being sick at the same time or only one of them sick while the other needs taking care of. I know I will be able to do it, well I will need to, but it does scare me a little.

After an hour of sitting with him I see him start shaking.

"Nicky, wake up." I say gently. "Wake up." I say but don't touch him because something is wrong. It looks like he is having a seizure. I call the doctor after he has stopped shaking. The doctor says he should go to the hospital to get checked out. Of course he would say that, if he looks at Nick he gets paid, but I want to make sure Nick is okay.

"Come here sweetie." I say and pick him up.

He tries to tell me something, but his speech is slurred.

"You're going to be okay." I whisper and take him to the car and buckle him in. I made sure to bring his teddy bear and favorite blanket. The hospital is thankfully only thirty minutes away.

I call Finnick on the way over who says he will meet us there.

"What's wrong with him?" I ask when the doctor comes in. He talks with Nick and has him point to some things and grab his finger and checks his pupils.

"What's wrong with him?" I ask again. He is making sure Nick is okay, but I would really like to know why he is doing what he is.

"From what you described it seems like this is just a febrile seizure." He says.

"What is that?" I ask.

"Young children can get them when they have a very high fever." He says.

"But this has never happened before." I say.

"It doesn't happen all the time. It generally happens when the fever comes on strong and quickly." He says.

"What do you do now?" I ask.

"I want him to stay here for a few hours to make sure the fever was the cause. We'll try to bring his fever down as well." He says.

"That's it?" I say surprised.

He nods.

I see Finnick about to come into the room.

"Hi buddy." Finnick says to Nick and kisses his cheek.

Nick just pets his teddy bear.

"Daddy I want to go home." Nick whispers.

"Has this happened to any other family member?" He asks.

"Not that I'm aware of." I say. I don't really ask what happened to us when we were toddlers. "Does it run in the family?" I ask.

"It can." He says.

"Could this lead to some sort of disorder? Because I have an Aunt who has generalized epilepsy and-"

"Right now Mrs. Odair it just seems to be a febrile seizure, but if this happens when he gets older than the answer might be yes. Although, there is no definitive proof that epilepsy is genetic."

"How much older is older?" I ask.

"Generally the age of seven or eight." He says.

I look towards Nick who is talking with Finnick. I can tell from the look on Nick's face that he wants to go to sleep. He also looks like he might cry.

"You can't test him or something?" I ask.

"No, sorry Mrs. Odair." He says and I sigh.

"When can he go home?" I ask again.

"When his fever goes down some." He says.

He waves at Nick on the way out and Nick surprisingly waves back.

"Mama." He says when I get closer.

"Hi baby." I say and move hair from his eyes. They gave him these weird cooling packs to try and help bring the fever down. "Why don't you try to sleep?" I say and kiss his forehead.

He nods and cuddles up with his teddy bear.

Finnick motions his head to the other side of the room so we can talk.

"I only caught the tail end of that discussion." He says.

I nod.

"They think he'll be okay." I say.

"I heard that part, but it's the other stuff that worries me." He says.

"They say he'll be fine." I say.

"But, when he gets older-"

"Finnick, we can't worry about that now. Besides, when do you worry so much?" I ask.

"This is more important." He says.

"Well we can't exactly predict his future, but it doesn't really matter because we love him." I say.

"Yes we do." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

We both just watch him sleep.

"Did you think about it?" I ask him.

"Think about what?" He asks.

"What it would be like if our other kid would be here." I say.

"No." He says. "Did you worry about that?" He asks.

"I just wonder how I will be able to take care of two cuties at once."

"Annie you said you were worried about taking care of one cutie. I think there's a learning curve. Besides, we know more now then we did when we first brought Nick home." Finnick says.

"I know, but I'm still worried." I say.

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"Me too." He says.

After what seems like forever we are allowed to take Nick home. When we take him home we just let him sleep, I can tell he wants that most and they gave him food while we were in the hospital.

* * *

"Would you like to know the sex?" My doctor asks.

"Yes." I say and Finnick smiles.

"Alright here we go." She says and moves the picture to show us.

"A girl." I whisper.

"Yes you're having a baby girl." She says.

"Do you know what that means Nicky?" Finnick asks Nick.

He shakes his head. After Nick got better he seemed just fine, back to his normal self.

"You're going to have a sister." Finnick says and kisses his cheek.

"Sissy?" He whispers.

"That's right." Finnick says.

Nick nods.

"Alright everything looks good. Do you guys have any questions?" She asks.

"No." I say. I've been pregnant three times, I think I know what to expect even when something bad happens.

"Nope." Finnick says.

"Already see you guys in two months." She says and walks us to check out.

"So a girl." Finnick says on the way home.

"A girl." I say and smile. "I wanna talk about names before she gets here." I say. For Nick and Olivia we waited, but this time I want to pick one out before. I don't want to say 'her' or 'she' I want to call her by her name.

"We have a few months." He says.

"I know, but I want to pick it soon." I say.

Finnick nods.

"We can start talking later then." Finnick says.

* * *

"Happy birthday to you." Finnick sings as Nick blows out his birthday candles. I'm supposed to go into labor in two weeks, but let's be honest it could happen at any time.

"How old are you today?" I ask Nick and he holds out three fingers.

"Three." He says.

"Good job baby." I say.

He smiles and we cut him a piece of cake.

"Mommy." Nick says.

"Yes sweetie?" I ask.

"Will sissy be here for my next birthday?" He asks.

"Yes she will." I say.

He nods.

"Do you remember sissy's name?" Finnick asks.

He nods.

"El-uh-ner." He says.

"Eleanor." I say and kiss his cheek. Finnick and I discussed names for a while before we agreed on the 'perfect' one. Finnick really wanted the name Margret for awhile, but I didn't like it. We finally settled on the name Eleanor Olivia Odair.

He nods and goes back to his chocolate cake.

"Is Ella still alright with taking care of Nick when you go into labor?" Finnick asks.

"She said she was." I say. I think she was only okay with this because their is a child involved. Even though she isn't Finnick's number one fan she thinks he deserves to see his daughter being born.

"You don't think she'll go back on it?" He says.

"She wouldn't." I say and kiss his cheek. "Besides, there are a few weeks before anything is supposed to happen." I say.

"It's never that simple though." Finnick smiles and kisses the top of my head.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

"You're going to Aunt Ella's." I say to Nick because today Finnick and I are going to the hospital because I'm getting induced. After four days of being past my due date the doctor decided it was okay.

"Okay." He says sleepily. He's tired because the appointment is early.

Finnick goes over and picks him up.

"Come here buddy." Finnick says and picks him up.

We knock on Ella's door which she answer quickly.

"Hi cutie." She says to Nick.

"Hi." He says and leans against Finnick's chest.

"He's tired." Finnick says and hands him to Ella.

"Here's a key to our house if we forgot something." I say and give them to her. We left her the car seat in case there is an emergency.

She nods.

"Are you gonna say goodbye to Mommy and Daddy?" She asks and kisses the top of his head.

He waves.

"Bye bye." He whispers and leans into Ella's chest.

"Good luck." She says.

I nod.

"Thanks." I say.

"I'll take good care of him." She says.

"We know." Finnick says. She gives him a smirk

"Take care of her Finnick." She says.

"Don't worry, I will." He says.

"Nicky next time you see us your sister will be here." I say and kiss his forehead.

"Sissy." He says with excitement.

"That's right, sissy." I kiss him one last time before we leave.

We drive to the hospital and get situated. They break my water and now it is just waiting. I'm hoping that the labor won't be long because they are forcing it to happen.

The dull pain starts and then it keeps getting stronger and stronger as the hours pass.

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"I think it's almost time." I say because I can feel the urge to push. Your body just takes over at a certain part and the doctors and nurses are here to make sure everything is okay.

Finnick kisses me.

"Okay." He smiles.

Soon the strong contractions start and I get told to push. After nine hours I finally hear the cries of our daughter fill the small room.

"Happy birthday Eleanor." I whisper and kiss her head.

Finnick kisses the top of my head and looks down at her.

"She's beautiful." He whispers.

"Yes she is." I say and kiss her again.

* * *

"Mommy!" I hear Nick say as he comes into the hospital room with Ella.

"Nicky." I say and reach for him so he can sit next to me on the bed.

"Your belly." He says and touches it.

"I know it's smaller." I say.

"Is that because sissy is here?" He asks.

"That's right baby." I say and kiss his forehead.

He looks around the room.

"Where is she?" He asks enthused.

"She's with Daddy." I say.

"I wanna see her." He says.

"You will. Daddy is going to bring her." I say and he nods.

"I missed you Mommy." He says and hugs me.

I kiss the top of his head.

"I missed you too." I say. A few minutes later Finnick comes back with Eleanor.

"Is that sissy?" Nick asks as her little box gets wheeled in.

"That's your sister." Finnick says and picks her up from the box and walks her over.

"Mommy she's tiny." He whispers.

"Yes she is." I say.

"You were this small once." Finnick says.

"No way!" He shouts causing Eleanor to moan.

"Yes way." I say and kiss his forehead.

"Daddy can I hold her?" He asks.

"Yes, but I will help you." He says. Finnick is mostly holding Eleanor even though she is in Nick's arms.

Nick smiles.

"She's pretty." He says.

"Yes, she is." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Are you going to be a good big brother?" Finnick asks.

"Yes." He says and nods.

"Do you love your sister?" I ask.

He nods.

"She's small Mommy." He says again.

"I know, but she'll grow to be as big as you." I say.

"So can I play with her?" He asks.

"She needs to get a little older baby." I say.

"Okay." He says slightly disappointed.

I kiss his cheek.

"But, I love her." He says and I smile.


	31. Three Years Later

**Three Years Later**

"Mommy." Eleanor giggles as I keep kissing her cheek.

"Let me do your hair sweetie." I say to my three year old. I continue to brush her hair. I braid her dark brown hair into pigtails.

She has my hair and eyes but there is something in there that reminds me of Finnick.

"There you go sweetie." I say and she hugs me.

"Thank you Mommy." She says and kisses me.

I kiss the top of her head.

"Go play and be nice to your brother." I say. Eleanor and Nick have gotten to that age where they like to fight with each other over everything.

I hear Finnick walk downstairs, he is carrying our two year old. She has hair so gold that it looks like the sun. I doubt it will stay that way forever but it makes her look very cute.

"Mommy." She says and reaches for me.

"She keeps asking for Mommy." Finnick says and kisses the top of her head.

"Come here Amelia." I say and take her from Finnick. We didn't even argue over her name, Amelia Margaret Odair.

She leans against my chest.

"I wanna play." She whispers and points to the play room.

"You wanna play with your brother and sister?" I ask and she nods. She wants to do everything her older sister does.

"Okay." I say and let her walk there. She still isn't the best walker.

I smile and watch them all play together. The peacefulness probably won't last long so I just soak it up.

Life is made up of moments. Good ones, bad one, but they're all worth it. It's what makes life so great. You can't have the good without the bad. Within the past few years, my life has been up and down. But none of that really matters because Finnick and I are always able to get through things together. I love him and I always will.

Finnick walks into the playroom and wraps his arm around my waist.

"Do you want anything?" Finnick asks.

I shake my head and just look at our children.

I smile and shake my head. All I need right now is the view of our smiling children and Finnick by my side.

"No." I smile and kiss him "Just this."

 **The End**

 **A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked the ending for this series. I also hope you had as much fun reading as I did writing! I have more Finnick and Annie stories if you're interested.**

 **-Susan**


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